


If you Would let me Love You

by TSPrincxietyTrash



Series: If You Would Let Me Love You Series [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Casual Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Humans AU, Lots of Sex, M/M, Orgasm Delay, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Shower Sex, Some light bondage, a lot of flirting, almost definitely more dirty tags to come as chapter count goes up, fuck buddies, kind of I think, long-ass smut fic, look forward to that, our boys are both very insecure, sex with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-06-11 23:03:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 63,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15326352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TSPrincxietyTrash/pseuds/TSPrincxietyTrash
Summary: Roman looked absolutely wrecked with swollen lips, his hair mussed and pupils blown wide and damn if Virgil hadn’t been inclined to say yes before he sure was now.  Apparently sensing his victory Roman shot a smug smile over to Virgil as he pulled out his phone“I’ll call us a cab, your place or mine?” he asked, grinning wickedly as he lifted the phone to his ear.“Fuck.  We’re going to mine, pretty boy,”Roman and Virgil are strangers who meet one night in a bar. One thing leads to another and Virgil takes Roman home for what is supposed to be a one night stand. The sex is so great they keep coming back to each other for more. Turns out they like each other a little more than just for the sex.





	1. Hey, I Just Met You

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, friends! So it turns out I'm a messy bitch and I can't stop writing fanfics at the moment so here we go. This is going to be a reasonably long one, I think (hard to tell right now) but here's the first chapter for you. This fic is based on a prompt from the tumblr sanderssidessmutprompts (featured in the summery of the fic^^^) 
> 
> Hope you like it!

Virgil was frowning into his whiskey, sitting alone at a quiet table in this smallish but reasonably classy bar that he was oh so familiar with.  It had been a long week, he’d worked several double shifts due to various employees having personal crises.  It’s not like it was their fault but Virgil reserved the right to feel bitter about it anyway.  It was midsummer and the bar was always busiest then, so he usually liked to avoid working too much at this time.  That was the advantage of being a manager, he was in charge of the rota and could usually work the schedule more or less to his liking.  He sighed and took a swig of his drink.  It was a bit strange to be here on his day off but he had really needed a drink and had just found himself wondering into his own bar where the booze was free.  He felt the stress and tension in his shoulders slowly start to melt away as he observed this evening’s clientele.  It was a mostly familiar crowd, several business people unwinding after a tough day, a few people on dates or out with friends, the standard spec.  He glanced at the large framed LGBTQ+ flag on the wall and grinned. 

After forty minutes or so of people watching he was debating whether or not to get another drink or to just call it a night and head home when the door swung open and Virgil glanced up to observe the new comer when his heart stopped dead in his chest.  The man who had just walked in was probably, no wait, _definitely_ the most gorgeous man Virgil had seen in his entire life.  He was tall and well built, with broad shoulders and slim hips.  He had a strong jaw and features, high cheek bones and caramel coloured hair that seemed effortlessly swept back from his face.  And he was _beaming._ Virgil blinked twice and abruptly reminded himself to breathe, sucking in air and shaking his head to bring himself back to earth.  Geeze, it’s not like he’d never seen a hot guy before, what was that? Virgil glowered at his empty glass, suddenly wishing more than anything it were full so he could take a gulp and feel the familiar burn in his throat. He glanced over to the bar and caught Gina’s eye.  He had hired her about two months previously and she was an absolute godsend.  She raised her eyebrows at him and he lifted his empty glass and she nodded, immediately pouring him another and bringing it over to him.  After chatting to her for a moment he scanned the bar again, spotting the incredibly hot guy leaning against the bar and flirting with, apparently, everyone.  He scowled and turned back to his drink.  Why was this bothering him so much? He took a long drink and frowned as he set his glass back down.  How long had it been? He couldn’t even remember. Maybe that was the problem…

He was about to get up and leave when he sensed someone slide into the booth seat opposite him, the soft leather squeaking slightly.  He looked up to see that unfairly gorgeous man smirking at him, two beers in his hands.  Virgil quirked an eyebrow as the guy slid one over to him.  Shrugging he took a sip of his free drink and eyed the attractive stranger across from him.  The man took a sip of his own beer and blinked at Virgil a couple of times.  Virgil glanced at his watch and scratched his nose.  The stranger drummed his fingers on the table.  Virgil smirked, he would not crack first.  He ran a hand through his purple-streaked hair and then reached into his pocket to get out his phone.  He internally cheered as he heard an irritated sigh from the man across from him. 

“Aren’t you going to say thank you?” he asked, sounding perhaps slightly irritated.  Virgil glanced up at him as he frowned.  How could someone’s _voice_ be sexy, for fucks sake!

“What, I didn’t ask you to buy me a drink. That was all you buddy,” Virgil replied, shrugging and taking another sip of his beer. 

“Alright, Hot Topic, chill out,” the guy replied, fingers still drumming the table absentmindedly.  “What’s your name?” he asked quietly, giving Virgil an intrigued look, long dark lashes blinking over bright green eyes.

“It’s actually Nunya,” Virgil replied smirking slightly.  The man’s brows drew together in confusion

“What?”

“Yeah, as in nunya business,” Virgil felt a shit-eating grin spread across his face as the man blinked in surprise and suddenly laughed.

“Geeze, man, have you never been hit on before?” the guy asked, still laughing a little “Either way, I can take a hint I’ll go if you’re not interested,” Virgil smiled genuinely at that

“Nah you can stay, my name’s actually Virgil and I’m a grade A asshole so you better get used to it, pal,” he said, waving a hand dismissively.  The guy was grinning back at him now

“I’m Roman,” he offered, taking another sip of his drink.

“Cute name,” Virgil mused, index finger tapping his glass absentmindedly “Goes with your face,” he added to see what would happen and to his delight a slight blush spread across the man – Roman’s – cheeks.

“Why thank you,” he replied with a sly grin, recovering quickly “You’re not too bad yourself,” he tossed Virgil a wink and Virgil scoffed

“You always this full of yourself?” Virgil asked, eyes narrowing as he took in Roman’s smug expression.  Sure, he was damn good looking and it was pretty obvious the guy was aware of it, but modesty was a good look on anyone in Virgil’s opinion.  Roman shrugged and abruptly downed the rest of his beer.  Virgil’s eyes widened as he leaned over the table, getting into Virgil’s personal space

“How about we stop beating around the bush.  Virgil, you’re fucking gorgeous and I could show you a good time if you’re willing. One night, no strings attached, amazing sex.  How ‘bout it babe?” Roman was close enough that Virgil could feel his breath on his face, he had spoken so quietly but with such confidence, Virgil was most displeased to find that he was definitely turned on.  But he also wasn’t going to give in that easily.  Blinking a few times to gather himself, he leaned even closer to Roman, allowing a smug smile to pull at his lips as he let his eyes roam over the other’s face.

“Oh please, Roman, you couldn’t _handle_ me,” Virgil had almost whispered it, but he was close enough to see Roman’s pupils dilate and to spot the minute shiver that seemed to run down his spine

“Wanna bet?” Roman smirked and then abruptly grabbed Virgil’s leather jacket and pulled him into a scorching kiss.  Virgil let out a soft squeak in surprise but immediately melted into the kiss, tangling his fingers gently into Roman’s hair and suddenly tugging hard.  Roman gasped and Virgil took advantage of his surprise by slipping his tongue into his mouth.  Roman was pulling Virgil even closer now, playfully nipping his lower lip and sliding one of his legs against Virgil’s under the table.  Virgil’s head was starting to spin when suddenly Roman was pulling away.  Virgil whined slightly before he realised what he was doing and abruptly snatched his hands back from Roman’s hair.  Roman looked absolutely wrecked with swollen lips, his hair mussed and pupils blown wide and _damn_ if Virgil hadn’t been inclined to say yes before he sure was now.  Apparently sensing his victory Roman shot a smug smile over to Virgil as he pulled out his phone

“I’ll call us a cab, your place or mine?” he asked, grinning wickedly as he lifted the phone to his ear.

“Fuck.  We’re going to mine, pretty boy,”

 

 

 

 

 

Virgil grinned as he pushed Roman up against the door to his apartment, having just shoved him inside and turned the lock.  They had made out in the cab, and in the entrance hall to his building, and in the elevator, and in the hallway and now Virgil was good and hard and very much hoping to keep up the trend.  Roman tugged on Virgil’s hair as Virgil continued pressing him into the door, running his hands down his sides and over his ass.  He was so ridiculously gorgeous Virgil could hardly believe his luck as he connected their lips once more, allowing his hands to slip underneath Roman’s shirt and run appreciatively over abs and pecks.  He moaned happily into Roman’s mouth as Roman’s hands slid down his back and onto his ass, squeezing and kneading a little. 

“Mmmm, shall we go to the bedroom or do you want to do it here?” Roman asked huskily, kissing his way down Virgil’s neck.  Virgil shuddered and stepped back raising an eyebrow as Roman practically pouted at the loss of contact. 

“Bedroom, c’mon, move your ass,” Virgil instructed, shrugging off his leather coat and kicking off his shoes before making his way over to the bedroom, flicking on the hallway light as he went.  He glanced around his own room, relieved to find that it wasn’t too messy at this particular moment.  He felt strong arms wrap around his middle from behind as Roman began kissing his neck again, he slowly slid his hand into Virgil’s pants and began trailing one finger teasingly up his length over his boxers.

“Do you want me to fuck you, Virgil?” Roman murmured, his lips right against Virgil’s ear and Virgil shuddered.  He quickly yanked Roman’s hand out of his pants, spun round and gripped Roman’s shirt tightly, pushing them towards the bed.

“Actually, I think I’d rather fuck you, if you think you can take it,” his voice sounded husky even to him.  It was Roman’s turn to shiver as his knees hit the edge of the bed

“Do your worst,” Roman whispered against Virgil’s lips, and Virgil felt himself grin wickedly.  He leaned closer, kissing Roman gently and slowly, moving his hands to lightly rest on Roman’s chest.  He felt more than heard Roman’s contented sigh and he felt himself grinning as he mustered all the strength he could to abruptly push Roman down on the bed. He smirked as Roman took a minute to compose himself after being forcefully knocked back.  Virgil didn’t give him much time to recover.  He was on him again in a moment, kissing and biting and licking as he attacked the buttons on Roman’s shirt, pulling it off his shoulders the moment he was done.  Virgil sat up a little to pull off his own shirt then he moved down Roman’s body to tug off his jeans as well.  A self-satisfied smirk pulled at Virgil’s lips as he removed Roman’s boxers achingly slowly.  And oh god, he was so beautiful, all strong muscles under tan skin and _how thick were his thighs?_

Virgil wriggled out of his own jeans but left his boxers on as he leaned down and kissed Roman again, their tongues sliding together as Roman’s hips bucked up into his.  Virgil groaned slightly and began moving down Roman’s body again, kissing and nipping here and there as he went until he reached Roman’s cock.  He glanced up, silently asking for permission, and saw Roman gazing back at him with heavily lidded eyes, Virgil saw his cock twitch at just the position and he smirked as he tossed Roman a wink and then swallowed him whole. Roman made a beautiful sound as Virgil started sucking, alternating between working the head and then moving all the way down to deep throat him, occasionally running his tongue along the underside as he went.  Roman’s hands were suddenly in his hair tugging _hard_ and Virgil pulled off to smirk up at him.  Looks like his mission to take Roman apart was going to be easier than he thought. 

“Having fun?” Virgil asked lowly, still grinning as Roman tried to glare at him but it was somewhat undermined by him desperately thrusting into the hand Virgil now had wrapped around his cock.  “Hmm maybe too much fun, I think you need to relax a bit sweetheart,” Virgil added, taking note of the precome now leaking from Roman’s cock. Roman whined in response and Virgil nodded mostly to himself as he decided how he wanted to proceed.  He drew his hand away, much to Roman’s apparent distress, and suddenly flipped Roman onto his front.  He gave him no time to recover, however, as he roughly grabbed Roman’s hips and dragged him down so that his legs were hanging off the edge of the bed.  Virgil smiled at the visual and began kneading Roman’s muscular thighs, pressing kisses to them near the curve of his ass.  His hands moved up from thighs to cheeks and he grinned as he saw Roman lift his head to look back at Virgil over his shoulder, eyes wide, cheeks flushed.

“Wait, Virgil, you’re not going to – “ he was cut off by Virgil spreading his cheeks and swiping his tongue over his entrance, causing Roman to cry out.  Virgil was feeling so incredibly smug as he began to kitten lick all around Roman’s rim, teasing him relentlessly as Roman squirmed and wiggled under his ministrations, making beautiful, breathy noises that Virgil certainly hadn’t expected to hear from him.  He kept this up until Roman seemed able to stay more or less still, then without warning he forced his tongue into his hole as far as it would go.  Roman moaned loud and uninhibited, his thighs trembling, his hands twisting in the dark purple sheets beneath him.  His hips were rocking back and forth as he tried to fuck himself on Virgil’s tongue and oh boy, Virgil was sure he was going to get off on this for weeks at least.  “Virgil, please,” Roman whined and Virgil pulled back, licking at his entrance a couple of times

“Please what?” Virgil asked, somehow managing to sound sweet and innocent, even though his neglected cock was _throbbing_ in his boxers.  Roman whined again, still rocking his hips slightly.  “Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you,” Virgil murmured, before pressing back to Roman’s entrance, thrusting his tongue in and out as slowly as he could manage. 

“Please, Virgil, I need more…” Roman gasped as Virgil pulled away again.  He held out his finger in front of Roman’s face, looking at him expectantly.  Roman immediately took it into his mouth, coating it in as much saliva as possible.  Virgil smiled as he watched Roman’s eyes flutter closed, he pushed a second finger passed his lips which Roman took into his mouth greedily, running his tongue between the two fingers. 

“I know exactly what you need, Roman,” Virgil murmured, pulling his fingers away from Roman’s face and beginning to massage them around his entrance instead.  “Are you ready?” he asked quietly, and Roman looked _so wrecked_ as he nodded desperately.  Virgil pushed in without further warning, not stopping until he was passed the second knuckle.  He gave Roman a moment to adjust before he started pumping his fingers in and out, careful not to hit Roman’s prostate but instead to push against his walls, stretching him as much as he could.  Roman was little more than a babbling mess at this point, so Virgil ran a soothing hang up and down his back as he pushed a third finger in, really stretching him now.  Roman moaned beautifully, rocking back on Virgil’s fingers and Virgil grinned as he crooked his fingers hoping to find – there! Roman shivered and groaned as Virgil began firmly massaging his prostate.  Feeling he had probably tortured Roman enough for now, Virgil withdrew his fingers and lightly slapped one of Roman’s thighs “Get on the middle of the bed on all fours,” Virgil instructed brightly and Roman scrambled hastily to do so.  Virgil chuckled softly as he pulled his own boxers off and made his way to the bedside drawer to grab the little bottle of lube and a condom.  He paused for a moment as he looked at one of his belts discarded on the floor nearby.  Roman let out an impatient and exasperated huff and Virgil grinned wickedly as his decision was made.  He snatched up the belt, dropping the lube and condom on the bed next to Roman.  Roman’s eyes widened when he saw what Virgil was holding.  He looked up at Virgil and whimpered slightly. 

“Is this okay?” Virgil asked, suddenly feeling unsure, but Roman’s eyes widened further and he nodded enthusiastically.  Without further ado, Virgil bound Roman’s wrists together and positioned him on his stomach, his legs spread wide.  Virgil sighed happily at the sight and wasted no time in rolling on the condom and coating his cock in plenty of lube.  He positioned himself on his knees behind Roman, grabbing his hips roughly and pulling them up to align them.  “Ready?” he asked quietly and Roman keened, nodding desperately.

“Please, Virgil,” he whispered and upon hearing that how could Virgil do anything other than push in, groaning as he was engulfed in warm, tight heat.  He thrust in slowly and smoothly until he bottomed out, pausing to allow Roman to adjust as he trembled around him. “Please,” Roman murmured again and Virgil tightened his grip on his hips holding Roman still as he began thrusting in and out, slow at first then fucking into him hard, hitting his prostate dead on almost every time.  Roman seemed to be beyond moaning now, his mouth open in a silent scream as his arms and legs shook with effort as he held himself up.  Virgil grunted as he moved one hand from Roman’s hip to grip his cock, stroking in time with his thrusts and Roman did cry out at that.

“Oh my god, _yes_ , Virgil I’m going to – “ just as he was sure he knew what was about to happen Virgil grinned wickedly and pulled out of Roman, flipping him on his back and clamping his hand down on the base of his cock to stop his orgasm. “Noooooo,” Roman whined pitifully, squirming under Virgil’s grasp.  He tried to bring his bound hands down to his leaking cock, but Virgil batted them away.  He leaned over Roman and kissed him slowly and sweetly, keeping his grip tight on the base of his cock.  He pulled back and looked Roman dead in the eyes.

“I said I’d give you what you want if you asked for it, but you never did tell me what you want,” Virgil shrugged and resumed kissing Roman languidly as he squirmed desperately beneath him.

“Virgil, _please_ ,” Roman gasped, sounding so breathless and lost “Please fuck me, please let me come,” he begged and Virgil knew he couldn’t hold on any longer, he was aching and hard and he needed the release almost as much as Roman at this point.

“You got it, gorgeous,” Virgil murmured against Roman’s lips, kissing him deeply again before he flipped Roman back over onto his stomach, pushed his legs as wide as they would go and slid back in, building his pace incredibly fast this time.  There was no way he could hold on for long as Roman moaned in bliss at finally, finally being fucked hard and knowing he would find his release soon.  Virgil wrapped a hand around Roman’s cock again stroking in time with his thrusts and biting Roman’s shoulder hard. Roman’s moans were high pitched and needy now and, god that was a beautiful sound. “You sound so good, oh my god, come for me, Roman, come now,” Virgil almost shouted it, his voice hoarse, and Roman stilled, then shuddered around him as he came.  The sight of him combined with his moans and the feeling of him clenching around Virgil was more than enough to push him over the edge too, his thrusts gradually slowing as he came down from his high, waves of pleasure washing over him.  That was the best orgasm he’d had in, well, ever. 

Both he and Roman were panting heavily, exhausted and spent.  Virgil fought the inviting prospect of sleep as he pushed himself up and pulled out of Roman, kissing his shoulder gently as he did so.  He pulled off the condom and tied it, tossing it into the wastepaper bin, then moving quickly to undo the belt around Roman’s wrists and kissing the slight bruises forming there.  Roman smiled up at him, his eyes dazed, his face flushed as he pulled Virgil down into a soft kiss.  Virgil smiled and pushed himself off the bed and to the bathroom, returning with a damp cloth to wipe Roman down gently. 

Once he had chucked the cloth into the sink he coaxed Roman off the bed long enough to pull the comforter back so they could both snuggle under it.  He lay on his back and lifted his arm in a silent invitation and Roman lit up smiling at him as he wriggled over and placed his head on Virgil’s shoulder, wrapping an arm around his middle and trapping one of Virgil’s legs between his own.  Virgil laughed at that and pressed a kiss to Roman’s head, allowing his eyes to drift shut.

“That was incredible,” Roman said, his voice low and rough “I had no idea you had that in you,” he added, chuckling to himself.  Virgil snorted

“I did warn you,” Virgil replied quietly “Now go to sleep, jackass, I’m kicking you out no later than 10am tomorrow,” he added.  Roman laughed and snuggled closer

“You really are a grade A asshole.  I think we’re going to get on well,” Roman murmured and Virgil laughed softly, drifting off to sleep with a smile on his face.


	2. And this is Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few days after an amazing one-night-stand with Virgil Roman is unable to get him off his mind, so after a brief discussion with his best friend, Remy, he goes back to the bar to see if he can find Virgil again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO WHAT UP FAM(ILY)!!! Anyway here's chapter two I hope you like it, prepare yourselves for: Roman's POV, Remy, more sex aaaaaand more flirting. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Roman woke to the sound of his alarm blaring next to his head.  He groaned as he reached out, switching off the alarm and rolling onto his back to stare up at his ceiling.  His room was bathed in pale morning light.  Apparently he had forgotten to draw the blinds last night after coming home reasonably late from work due to an impromptu rehearsal.  He blinked a few times, attempting to clear the heavy fog settled over his sleep-addled brain.  Slowly he managed to get himself out of bed, pull on a pair of drawstring pants and make his way out into the living room, rolling his shoulders as he went.  He was just debating whether or not to have breakfast out on his small balcony when he noticed a man sprawled across his sofa, sucking on the straw of an iced latte and wearing sunglasses. Indoors. 

“Morning, Remy,” Roman mumbled as he shuffled over to the kitchen, preparing to make coffee for two instead of one

“S’up, gurl,” Remy replied absently, tapping away on his phone.

“I gave you that key for emergencies,” Roman threw over his shoulder as the kettle boiled and he spooned coffee granules into two mugs

“I was out of Doritos,” Remy replied, smirking.  Roman smiled as he set the coffee down in front of Remy and then pushed his legs off the couch so that he could sit beside him. 

“Nice reference,” he mumbled, blowing on the steam rising from his mug.

“Bitch, why did you make me coffee? I’m literally drinking an ice latte right now,” Remy lowered his sunglasses to gaze at Roman over the top of them.  Roman looked from Remy down to the steaming coffee and back again.

“Oh,” he took a sip of his own coffee “I was on autopilot,” he added, smiling at Remy again “Not that I mind you letting yourself in at all hours of the day, I’m always happy to see you, but what are you doing here?” Roman asked, setting his coffee down and pulling his legs up onto the sofa.  Remy shrugged and turned back to his phone, sucking on his straw again

“I dunno, just bored I guess,” he mumbled.  Suddenly he was looking up at Roman with a shit eating grin on his face “Wanna fuck?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.  Roman laughed and shoved Remy’s shoulder playfully

“Think I’ll pass sleeping beauty,” he winked at Remy as he reached over for his coffee again, relishing the smell and already starting to feel more human.

“Riiiiiiight, and that’ll be because you’re still not over the amazing night you had with that hot guy a couple days ago, yeah?” Remy said airily, clearly trying to appear nonchalant, but his self-satisfied smirk was somewhat undermining him.

“Yeah, sure, that’s the reason,” Roman drawled, “Nothing at all to do with the fact that we’re best friends and you’re a sex-repulsed asexual or anything…” he added, sipping his coffee as loudly as he could manage for dramatic effect.  Remy laughed at that and Roman couldn’t help smiling at him gleefully

“That’s, like, a minor detail or whatever,” Remy was tapping away on his phone again and the pair sat in companionable silence for a few minutes as Roman mentally ran through what he needed to do that day.  He was only running three classes today and they were all in the afternoon.  Perhaps he would even have time to stop by the gym if Remy didn’t want to hang out all morning.  “Sooooooo,” Remy’s drawling voice pulled him from his thoughts and brought him back to the present as he watched his friend push his sunglasses up to rest on his head.  He levelled Roman with a thoroughly unimpressed look. “You gonna go back to that bar and see if you can find him again or what?” Roman sighed heavily.

“I mean, I guess I could.  But we were pretty clear about it being a one off thing, I’m pretty sure he won’t want to see me again.  Besides, even if I do go back, there’s no guarantee he’d be there, it’s just some random bar fairly off the beaten track, maybe that was the first time he’d ever been there or something,” Roman’s brow furrowed as he fidgeted with his fingernails.  Remy clicked his tongue loudly, causing Roman’s eyes to snap up to look at him.

“Okay, first of all, gurl, if the sex was even half as good as you told me it was, he definitely won’t want to pass up on that again.  Second, that place is one of like, _three_ decent gay bars in this city? He’ll definitely be back at some point.  Y’know what, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been in there every freakin night since hoping you’ll show up,” Remy winked at Roman and blew him a kiss, making a show of then pulling his sunglasses back down and taking a selfie.  Roman laughed through his blush then sighed as he thought to himself.  Remy had a point.  There really was no harm in stopping by again, just to see.  He resolved to drop in after work.  Even if Virgil wasn’t there he could still have a drink and chat to some people.  He found himself smiling for most of the day after that. 

 

 

Roman pushed on the heavy glass door and stepped into the cool air of his new favourite bar.  It was bathed in warm light from candles dotted on every table, and fairy lights strung up around the many dark wood beams across the ceiling and along the back of the leather booth seats.  There was a large fish tank across one wall, with pretty colourful fish swimming lazily back and forth, while soft jazz music played from speakers dotted around the space.  Roman smiled brightly at the large LGBTQ+ flag that was framed on the wall directly above the bar.  It really was a nice atmosphere.  He made his way up to the bar, flashing his best, most charming smile at anyone who happened to notice him as he went. He leant against the bar and turned around to scan the rest of the place.  Hmmm. No sign of Virgil.  Still it wasn’t particularly late, he may yet show up. 

“Hey, what can I get y-“ a low, rumbling voice had begun speaking behind him but immediately cut off as Roman turned around to face the speaker.  His eyes widened and then a huge grin spread across his face as he realised who was on the other side of the bar. 

“Hey there, hot topic.  I’ll have a gin and tonic and your next free evening, if you’re offering,” Roman winked as he watched a pleasant blush spread across Virgil’s cheeks.  Goodness, he was even lovelier than Roman remembered him.  Tall and slim, his dark hair streaked with purple falling over his forehead into those impossibly deep brown eyes made all the more noticeable by dark eyeshadow and liner.  Suddenly Roman felt himself shiver as he remembered smooth pale skin stretched over lean muscles, soft lips against his, elegant hands gripping his hips, running his fingers through soft silky hair. 

“Not a chance, jackass,” he was snapped back to the present as Virgil spoke, smirking as he folded his arms and leant on the bar, “I’ll get you your G and T on the house though, since I never did thank you for the drink last time,” he winked at Roman then swiftly turned around and started making the drink.  Roman smiled to himself and slid onto the barstool he had been standing next to.  Well, this was an interesting development. 

“Much obliged, my chemically imbalanced romance.  So, you work here, huh?” Roman offered conversationally as Virgil slid the drink over to him and grabbed a cloth to wipe down the gin he had spilt on the bar surface. 

“Well spotted,” Virgil muttered, tossing the cloth aside and leaning forward on the bar again.  “I actually run this place,” he added in a softer tone and Roman’s eyes widened as he smiled.

“Really? That’s amazing!” Roman smiled brightly as Virgil blushed and ducked his head and, wow, that was really adorable. 

“It’s nothing special,” Virgil mumbled.  He abruptly cleared his throat and looked up at Roman, a hint of a smile playing about his lips “What do you do?”

“Oh, I teach drama classes and run a few workshops on acting up at the arts college,” Roman replied with a shrug, taking a sip from his drink as Virgil’s eyebrows flew up in surprise.

“Wow, that’s actually pretty cool,” Virgil offered “Makes sense, though, bet you love the sound of your own voice,” he added hastily, attempting to look unaffected. Roman raised his eyebrows and took another gulp of his drink before leaning closer to speak directly into Virgil’s ear

“I’m not the only one, am I?” he murmured.  He leaned back and smirked to himself as he brought his drink back to his lips.  Virgil was blushing again and, apparently, was pretty annoyed about it as he scowled angrily at Roman over the bar. 

“What are you doing here anyway?” Virgil demanded grumpily.  Roman grinned.  Might as well be honest.

“I was hoping to run into you actually,” Virgil’s eyes widened and Roman pressed on “When d’you finish your shift?” he asked quietly, leaning further over the bar.

“Emm, not ‘til closing…” Virgil’s voice was quiet and perhaps even a little shaky.  Roman shot him his best, most seductive grin

“I can wait.  Come home with me?” Virgil blinked a couple of times, then seemed to shake himself back to reality.  He glanced at Roman as he bit his lip.  Roman smiled again, hoping upon hope it was warm and inviting because Virgil biting his lip and looking at him like that was _doing things to him_. 

“Okay,” Virgil breathed.  It was so quiet Roman almost thought he’d imagined it, but then Virgil was smirking at him.  He smiled back and Virgil tossed him a wink before swiftly turning around and apparently going back to work. 

 

The next three and a half hours dragged by for Roman in a haze of sexual tension and impatience.  Did Virgil have to look _so alluring_ every time he bent over to get something from one of the low shelves, or as he walked around the bar serving customers and chatting to people with a sway in his hips?  And did he have to lick his lips so seductively every time he happened to catch Roman’s eye?  Roman realised he had been doing it on purpose once they climbed into a taxi together and Virgil slid his hand over Roman’s thigh to ghost teasingly over his crotch before withdrawing his hand and smirking as he turned to look out the window.  When they finally pushed through Roman’s door into his apartment he was already half hard as he flicked the lights on and shrugged of his jacket, closing the door behind them. 

“Wow, nice place,” Virgil commented as he looked around.  Roman smiled and gently pulled Virgil’s coat off his shoulders and hung it up next to his own.  Virgil turned to face him and smiled, placing his hands on Roman’s shoulders.  Roman smiled back as his own hands moved to slim hips, pulling Virgil just the tiniest bit closer. 

“You are exquisite,” he murmured, then he leaned down to connect their lips.  He felt more than heard Virgil’s breath hitch as he pressed a little closer, pulling Virgil in to his chest.  He slid one hand up to the small of Virgil’s back, the other gripping his hip tightly as Roman softly grazed his tongue across Virgil’s lower lip.  Virgil’s mouth opened instantly, allowing the smooth glide of warm tongues as Roman sighed contentedly.  He pulled back after a moment, gently running his hand slowly up and down Virgil’s back.  “I think it’s my turn to take you this time,” he spoke softly, right against Virgil’s lips, and Roman felt him shiver beneath him.  He smiled and began pressing feather light kisses along Virgil’s jaw, relishing the way he seemed to be turning to jelly in his arms.

“Hmmm, sounds good,” Virgil breathed, then he bit down on Roman’s earlobe gently, as if it were made of glass.  Roman shuddered and began slowly walking them backwards until Virgil’s back hit the wall next to his bedroom door.  He kissed him gently again, taking his time exploring Virgil’s mouth and allowing his hands to roam over Virgil’s chest, his touch teasing and light. 

“Stay here, won’t you,” Roman spoke softly against Virgil’s ear, then bit down on his neck, sucking slightly.  Virgil gasped but nodded as Roman pulled away.  He hummed happily to himself as he slipped into the bedroom to grab the lube and a condom.  He hurried back to see Virgil gently palming himself through his jeans, still leaning back against the wall, his head thrown back and eyes closed.  It was a beautiful sight and Roman simply watched for a few seconds before dropping the lube and condom beside them and roughly grabbing Virgil’s t-shirt to pull him into a searing kiss.  Suddenly their pace changed from somewhat gentle and slow to hot and desperate.  It was hands roaming everywhere, hips rocking together, lips and teeth and tongues exploring, kissing and biting.  Roman felt his heart rate spike as he pulled Virgil’s t-shirt up and over his head, pulling his own off immediately after.  And then Virgil’s hands were all over him, running over every inch of his chest and he pulled and tugged at Virgil’s jeans, desperate to get them off now. 

“Fuck, Roman,” Vigil panted as he stepped out of his jeans, pulling at Roman’s slacks to get them off too.  Roman kicked himself free of the offending clothing, then leaned down to take Virgil’s lower lip gently between his teeth, running his tongue along it as he did so.  Virgil squirmed and Roman shoved both of their boxers down, started to feel impatient.  He pulled back to look Virgil in the eyes for a moment.  Virgil blinked up at him and Roman grinned devilishly before dropping swiftly to his knees and taking the head of Virgil’s cock into his mouth.  “Oh shit!” Virgil gasped, immediately tangling his fingers in Roman’s thick, soft hair.  Roman worked him for a couple of minutes, relishing the sounds he made, before he blindly reached down to find the lube, continuing to suck while Virgil seemed to be fighting to keep his hips still.  He uncapped the bottle and poured some onto his fingers, warming it between them as he brought them round to begin massaging around Virgil’s entrance.  The excited gasp Virgil released gave Roman the cue he was looking for and he began pushing in.  Virgil was moaning beautifully as he rocked back on Roman’s finger and then pushed forward into the warm wet of his mouth.  Roman pulled off his cock as he began pumping his finger in and out, breathing deeply and pressing a few kisses to Virgil’s hips, biting and nipping occasionally. “Mm, m-more Roman, please,” Virgil’s voice was breathy and oh _so_ sexy.  Roman pushed another finger in and began scissoring immediately, sensing Virgil would be able to take it.  He ran his other hand up and down Virgil’s side as he moaned and rocked his hips.  Roman resumed his attack on Virgil’s hips, biting down hard and sucking, hoping to leave marks as he pushed a third finger in as well.  He kept going a little longer, pushing a little further until Virgil was whimpering, his thighs shaking as he tried to remain standing.  Roman crooked his fingers, hoping to find that sweet spot within Virgil.  It took a moment but then suddenly Virgil was crying out.  Roman immediately pulled out and stood up, rolling on the condom and slicking himself up as Virgil breathed deeply, gazing at him with an impossible heat in his eyes.

“Turn around for me,” Roman murmured.  Virgil shuddered but did so, bracing himself against the wall and spreading his legs.  And oh, that was beautiful to look at.  Roman placed his hands on those slim, pale hips as he moved closer.  He nudged Virgil’s legs slightly further apart and leaned forward to suck on the back of his neck.  “Are you ready?” he whispered in Virgil’s ear.  Virgil shuddered and pushed his ass back against Roman’s hips

“ _Fuck_ yes,” he replied breathlessly.  Roman grinned and began pushing in.  He took it slowly at first, allowing Virgil time to adjust to his substantial girth, until he eventually bottomed out.  He paused for a moment longer until Virgil huffed an impatient breath and attempted to grind back on his cock.  Roman chuckled slightly and nipped gently on Virgil’s ear.

“You’re going to regret that,” he murmured.  Without further warning he pulled his hips back and then snapped forward, setting a brutal pace.  Virgil moaned long and loud, his head dropping to the wall as Roman hammered into him, holding him up with strong arms.  It was sweaty and loud and hot, and Roman was climbing impossibly fast as Virgil’s moans increased in pitch and frequency.  Roman shifted his hips slightly to hold Virgil tight around the middle with one arm.  He slipped his other hand around Virgil’s cock and started pumping him, thrusting as hard as he could, hoping to hit Virgil’s prostate. 

“Holy FUCK, Roman! Roman I’m close!” Virgil was practically shouting.  Roman grinned and bit down on the back of Virgil’s neck, tasting salt and sweat. Virgil almost screamed and Roman quickened his thrusts the tiniest bit more

“Let go, Virge, let go,” Roman murmured into his ear and Virgil did.  He came with a shout, clenching beautifully around Roman and shuddering helplessly in his arms.  He was so gorgeous Roman’s hips quickly stuttered out of time as he came too.  Waves of pleasure crashed over him as his mind blanked for a moment, shuddering against Virgil, both of their chests heaving as they leaned heavily against the wall.  After a moment Roman pulled out, wrapping an arm around Virgil and helping him walk to the bed.  He set Virgil down gently and kissed his head.  “I’ll be right back,” he promised softly before padding to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and clean off.  He returned with a damp cloth, just as Virgil had done the first time, and gently cleaned him too, enjoying the tenderness of the moment.  Virgil was so incredibly beautiful lying in the middle of his bed, soft and pale and pliant.  Roman laughed quietly to himself as Virgil whined when he moved him over in order to snuggle into the bed with him, pulling his hips flush to his own and wrapping his arms around Virgil’s middle to spoon him.  “Go to sleep, emo nightmare, I’m kicking you out no later than 10 tomorrow morning,” Roman parroted Virgil’s words from the last time back to him.  Virgil huffed a tiny, quiet laugh and pulled Roman’s arms tighter around him.

“You got it, gorgeous,” Roman heard him mumble before they both drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you would be so kind as to roast me if you see a typo that would be much appreciated. (Thank you so much to everyone who had done so!)


	3. But Here's my Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his second one-night-stand with the same person, Virgil comes to a conclusion and decides to proposition Roman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another update for y'all, I am FLYING through this one my friends! Your comments are really spurring me on!!  
> In this chapter you can expect to see: more flirting, some #feelings and everybody's favourite glasses gays(TM) Logan and Patton! Also, now introducing PLOT for the very first time! (Who is she....)
> 
>  
> 
> There's actually no smut in this chapter..... What?

Virgil was completely comfortable and relaxed.  Half asleep and warm and… not alone? His eyes suddenly flew open as his sleepy brain tried desperately to catch up.  Oh.  He was still at Roman’s, he had fallen asleep here last night.  He began to remember the night before as his heart rate slowly returned to normal.  Roman had come into his bar and flirted with him and they had gone home together.  Again.  Virgil frowned as he thought.  It was very unusual for him to have two one-night-stands with the same person.  Twice in one week at that.  He looked over at Roman sleeping softly beside him and much to his delight he realised Roman was drooling.  Smiling to himself, Virgil pushed himself into a sitting position and took in his surroundings.  Roman’s room was pretty messy, with a pile of clothes strewn around the hamper and several stray pieces of paper and notebooks littering the already cluttered desk on the other side of the room.  There was also a guitar case sitting open, and a very large, obnoxious frame on the opposite wall containing a football jersey with the name Prince in huge letters over a number 3.  There was also a large, thick red and gold rug covering a large portion of the floor, ornately decorated with leaves and swirls.  Virgil wrinkled his nose in distaste and started to shake Roman by the arm in an attempt to wake him up. 

“Uuugh, what?” Roman mumbled sleepily, his voice thick and groggy.

“You’re room is just as obnoxious as you are,” Virgil said matter-of-factly “Wake up and make me some breakfast so I can leave,” he added, smirking a little as Roman whined.

“Okay, gimme a sec,” Roman grumbled and Virgil laughed mostly to himself as he threw back the covers and went in search of his clothes.  Upon finding them he took the liberty of using Roman’s shower staring for a moment in awe at all of the different hair products lined up on the counter.  He showered quickly and then pulled on his clothes before heading out into Roman’s living room, finding him in the adjoining kitchen with two cups of coffee and placing bread in the toaster.  His hair was sticking up at all angles and he was wearing nothing but a pair of soft grey sweatpants. 

“Morning, sexy,” Virgil drawled, leaning against the doorframe to admire the few.  Roman looked up and flashed him a blinding smile

“Good morning Count Woe-laf,” he quipped “Do you like toast with jam?” he asked brightly. 

“Eh, sure whatever,” Virgil replied glancing around the cramped kitchen. 

“You okay over there?” Roman asked raising an eyebrow.  Virgil nodded, still taking in the dirty dishes piled next to the sink

“I’m just surprised by how much of a slob you are,” he commented vaguely.  Roman huffed indignantly, making several affronted noises causing Virgil to chuckle

“It takes a great deal of effort to maintain my level of beauty, I’ll have you know, so _sometimes_ I have to put household chores on the back burner,” Roman huffed indignantly, handing Virgil a plate and heading out into the living room to plop himself down on the couch.  Virgil rolled his eyes then followed, taking a seat next to him.  He winced slightly as he felt a dull ache upon sitting down.  Apparently Roman noticed as he immediately sat up straight looking at Virgil with wide, concerned eyes “Are you okay?” he asked, eyes flicking around Virgil’s face.  Virgil grinned slyly

“I’m fine, just feeling the aftereffects that’s all.  It’s totally worth it,” he began munching on his toast, noticing the faint blush dusting Roman’s cheeks.  Roman let out a long sigh

“Thank goodness, I was really worried I’d hurt you,” he admitted, glancing at Virgil and looking away again.  Virgil’s eyes widened.  He was surprised at that. 

“Oh. Well, thanks, I guess.  But I’m totally fine,” he hoped that was reassuring enough for Roman.  No one had ever fucked him like that before and then asked him if he was okay the next morning.  Virgil blinked a couple of times before coming to a decision.  “Hey, this may be kind of crazy ‘cause we basically just met, but can we exchange numbers?” Roman’s head whipped round, blinking fast as he stared at Virgil.  Virgil hastily backtracked “I’m not asking you out or anything! I just meant, eh, I can’t remember the last time I met someone who I both enjoyed fucking and getting fucked by, and then didn’t immediately want to kill in the morning.  I was just thinking, why let a good thing go to waste? If we swapped numbers we could hook up whenever, that’s all,” Roman seemed to relax a little at that and then he smiled sweetly.

“Okay, hot stuff, you’re on,” he replied, taking a huge bite of toast and chewing it loudly.  Virgil frowned in distaste but turned back to his own food. 

“Why do you have a football jersey framed in your room?” Virgil asked, mostly just to fill the silence.  Roman glanced over then back to his food.

“I played in high school, and went to college on a football scholarship,” he replied, shrugging.  That rubbed Virgil up the wrong way a little bit.  Was this guy really so full of himself that he decided to _frame_ his high school football jersey?

“You’re last name’s Prince, then?” Virgil asked quietly.  Roman nodded finishing off his toast.

“What’s yours?” he asked. 

“Mason,” Virgil replied, setting down his own empty plate and picking up his mug of coffee.

“How long have you run the bar, Virgil?” Virgil eyed him suspiciously but Roman’s expression was open and kind, and he seemed genuinely interested so Virgil decided there was no harm in telling him.

“Em, about four years now,” he replied, lifting one shoulder.  “I took over from the last guy and took on a bunch of his employees but, y’know, bar tenders come and go,” Virgil took a sip of his coffee and grimaced realising Roman had put sugar in it. Bleh.

“That’s cool, what did you do before that?” Roman asked, shifting so he was cross-legged on the sofa facing Virgil.

“I was in college and tended a couple of bars,” Virgil shrugged again, starting to get a bit uncomfortable with all the questions. It felt weird making small talk with Roman after everything they had done together. 

“What did you study?” Roman asked, that same open expression on his face.

“English language and literature.  Why are you so interested?” Virgil asked, feeling his guard coming up as he almost glared at Roman.  Roman blinked in surprise and he shifted uncomfortably.

“Sorry, I just thought it might be nice to get to know you a bit better…” Roman’s voice was quiet and he wasn’t looking at Virgil.  Virgil sighed and pulled out his phone, handing it to Roman.

“Here, put your number in and then text yourself and I’ll get out of your hair.  You can text me whenever you have a free evening and if I’m not busy I can stop by or whatever,” Virgil said, feeling himself relax slightly as Roman’s eyes brightened when he took the phone and began typing. 

“I’ve saved myself as Roman Prince-of-your-Dreams so you won’t forget how good I am,” he winked at Virgil as he handed back the phone and Virgil snorted shaking his head.  He pocketed the phone and set his (disgusting) cup of coffee down on the table, getting to his feet and stretching.

“I gotta motor, Princey, the bar’s not gonna open itself,” Virgil made his way towards the door, hearing Roman bustling and searching for keys behind him.  A moment later Roman unlocked the door, opening it for Virgil as he stepped out into the hallway and turned around to face Roman.  He was smiling softly and Virgil hesitated for a moment before saluting and starting to walk away. “Text me when you next have a free evening,” he called over his shoulder as he went.

“Sure thing, see you soon Hot Topic,” Roman called back to him and Virgil found himself grinning as he heard the door close behind him.  

 

 

Virgil knocked sharply on the door in front of him and waited.  He had told his friends he would be over around eight but it was actually closer to eight thirty now.  He shifted impatiently, still a little sore from the previous night’s activities, when the door suddenly swung open to reveal a small, delicate man with soft curly hair and rounded glasses, wearing a grey silk blouse and a knee length pale-blue skirt.  Patton beamed at him as Virgil grinned, leaning down to wrap his arms around his friend’s waist as Patton enthusiastically greeted him. 

“Hey, kiddo! I’m so glad you’re here! Logan just finished making popcorn!” Patton’s voice was bubbly and bright as he practically skipped down the hallway into the open plan living room/kitchen/diner, his skirt swishing around his knees as he went.  Virgil shook his head, smiling fondly as he followed, closing the door behind him and spotting Logan handing two bowls of popcorn to Patton.

“S’up, Lo,” Virgil offered as he entered the space, handing Logan the four pack of beer he’d brought with him.

“Greetings, Virgil,” Logan replied, smiling pleasantly.  He was just slightly taller than Virgil, with soft hazel eyes looking out through stylish glasses.  Even in the comfort of his own home he wore slacks with a shirt and tie.  “How are you today?” Logan asked, turning back to the counter to separate the beers. 

“M’fine, thanks,” Virgil replied, shrugging slightly as he picked up the remaining bowl of popcorn and made his way over to the couch where Patton was currently sitting, humming to himself as he flicked through Netflix on the TV.

“What do you want to watch tonight, Virge? I’m totally in the mood for like a nature documentary or something,” Patton’s voice was bright, his eyes shining as he happily bounced in place where he sat, a tiny bundle of energy, always moving. 

“I really don’t care, Patton, just put on whatever you like,” Virgil replied.  Patton beamed at him, then chose something seemingly at random and sat back on the couch, tucking his bare feet under his legs as Logan came to sit next to him, placing an arm around Patton as they snuggled close.  Virgil couldn’t help but smile at the display.

“How was work today, Virgil?” Logan asked, his tone even as always. 

“Yeah it was fine.  It’s boring as fuck working the afternoon shift but whatever,” Virgil shoved some popcorn into his mouth before responding “What about you guys?” he mumbled

“Oh my day was great! We did some really great painting with all the kids today, we got them to make footprints with the paint and I’m going to cut them all out and use them for this week’s StoryTime when that comes around, it’s going to be so cute! I’m going to make a little trail with them for the kids to follow, they’ll love it,” Patton was gesturing excitedly as he spoke about the daycare centre, his eyes practically sparkling.  Both Virgil and Logan were gazing at him extremely fondly. 

“That sounds amazing, Pat,” Virgil offered quietly.  Patton beamed at the compliment.

“My day, too, was satisfactory.  Many of my lectures ran smoothly and there were some very interesting discussions in the seminar groups I ran also,” Logan spoke quietly and calmly, but his eyes were full of warmth and Virgil could see a small smile pulling at his lips. 

“Awesome,” Virgil replied, turning back to the TV.  It was at times like these he felt immensely grateful for his friends.  He had known them both for almost as long as he had lived in this city, having moved here straight from college.  He had bumped into Logan one night at a smallish bar kind of off the beaten track.  It was a nice space and definitely had potential but its current décor had rendered it a little dingy.  Virgil had only gone in for a quick drink in the hopes of maybe getting chatting to someone when Logan had approached him and they had talked.  After a few drinks, Virgil confessed that he was hoping to open his own bar when Logan informed him that the current owner of this place was looking to sell.  Logan was on first name terms with the guy, apparently, being a regular customer, so he introduced them and the rest was history.  He had gotten to know Patton after Logan introduced them as well and he had watched for about a year as the two of them pined over each other until he finally snapped and convinced Logan to take Patton out on a date.  And now here they were, the three of them curled up in Logan and Patton’s shared apartment, where Virgil was always welcome and had never been made to feel left out or lonely once the other two had become a couple.  He really was lucky to have such great friends.  Virgil was pulled out of his idle thoughts by Patton’s gentle voice when he realised he was speaking.

“It’s okay, Lo, we can just go out and buy some more!” Virgil looked over and saw that Patton’s eyebrows were drawn together in concern while Logan was scowling at the TV. Uh oh.

“Patton it’s getting late, I’ll get some more tomorrow, just…” Logan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Just ask next time, okay?” his voice was gentle and Patton glanced away, shifting guiltily

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Patton almost whispered it, oh god what had Virgil missed?

“Eh, what happened?” Virgil asked tentatively.  They both turned to stare at him, their expressions sombre.

“Patton baked a cake to take into work with him today, and he used the last of my Crofters Jam for the filling,” Logan’s tone was entirely serious. There was silence for a few seconds.  Virgil’s eyes flicked back and forth between their faces, waiting for the rest.

“…. What, that’s it?” they nodded in unison and Virgil couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. “Oh my _god_ Logan! What a terrible life you lead! The worst thing that’s happened to you today is that you ran out of jam?!” Virgil was still cackling while Patton began to giggle.  Logan’s face remained entirely serious, but his eyes were dancing with mirth now as he turned to Patton.

“Dear heart, did you at least save me a slice of the cake for which you sacrificed my jam?” Logan’s voice was low and rumbling and Patton was laughing out-right now. 

“Sorry, Lo, the whole thing’s gone! Sorry not to have been able to _bake_ your day!” Patton’s eyes were shining as he giggled uncontrollably at his own pun.  Logan groaned loudly as Virgil snorted, then promptly began choking on popcorn.  The other two laughed until the chocking went on for slightly too long and suddenly Patton was holding Virgil’s hands while Logan thumped him on the back to free his airway.  Virgil drew in a raspy breath, squeezing Patton’s hands in his own.

“Geeze Lo, your obsession with Crofters nearly killed me,” Virgil coughed again and grinned up at the other two, pleased to see them both smiling back. 

“I apologize, Virgil.  However I would like to take the credit for having also saved you so I think we’re even,” Logan was smiling as he spoke and Virgil patted his arm reassuringly.  The three of them then moved over to the couch to cuddle together while they watched some more documentaries, laughing and teasing one another until eventually Patton and Logan went to bed and Virgil crashed on the couch, still smiling to himself as he fell soundly asleep.

 

 

 

 

“Alright, here you go.  Two margaritas,” Virgil slid the drinks over to the girl on the other side of the counter, smiling as he did so.  She smiled nervously before grabbing the glasses and hurrying off to a table. 

“What is she, like twelve?” a bored female voice sounded next to Virgil’s ear.  He turned to smirk at Gina as she stuffed some notes in the till and dropped some change into the tips jar. 

“Twenty two, actually, I did ID her.  You don’t think I’m a completely incapable boss, right?” Virgil laughed as Gina shrugged, making a non-committal sort of noise but smirking none-the-less.

“Why are you still here anyway, your shift finished like half an hour ago,” Gina’s tone was nonchalant and disinterested but Virgil didn’t miss the curious glance she sent his way.

“Patton and Logan are coming in for a drink in a couple of minutes,” Virgil shrugged as he wiped down the surface of the counter.

“Ah,” Gina nodded thoughtfully, “I was just wondering if you might be waiting for that guy again? You know? The really hot one who keeps coming in towards the ends of your shifts and leaving with you? What’s it been, like, four times in the last two weeks?” her tone was light and teasing, but there was a knowing smirk playing about her lips.  Virgil felt a smug grin slide across his face.

“Six actually,” he replied, shrugging “Not that anyone’s counting,” he added, winking at her.  She grinned delightedly

“So, are you guys dating?” she asked slowly, clearly a little nervous about asking such a person question.  Virgil huffed a laugh

“Nah, we’re just fucking.  He’s kind of annoying actually,” Virgil replied, looking up to see Logan holding the big glass door open for Patton.  He smiled at them as Patton waved enthusiastically before Logan pulled him over to a booth in the corner.  “And that’s my cue to go.  Enjoy the rest of your shift, I’m strictly a customer now so if anything goes wrong don’t bother me with it,” Virgil winked at her as he grabbed three beers and made his way over to the table

“No problem, boss,” Gina saluted him as he went before turning back to the counter to continue serving. 

Virgil slid into the booth seat across from his two friends who were apparently having a heated discussion about puppies.

“We _need_ to adopt them, Logan, who knows what might happen if we don’t!” Patton’s eyes were wide and he was grasping one of Logan’s hands in both of his own. 

“Patton, we both work every day Monday to Friday! We are not in our house enough to care for one puppy, let alone four! Not to mention our lease doesn’t allow pets, it’s just not feasible,” Patton pouted but seemed unable to argue with Logan’s logic.

“Oh boy, what happened this time?” Virgil asked, sliding two beers across the table to them

“One of the kids at daycare has a cute little dog and she just had puppies but the family can’t keep them so they were asking around the nursery,” Patton mumbled sadly.  Logan put an arm around Patton and seemed to squeeze him gently.

“We’ll get a dog one day, Patton, now just isn’t the right time,” Logan murmured before pressing a kiss to Patton’s hair.  Patton seemed to brighten at that and Virgil noticed a faint blush high on Logan’s cheeks.

“You guys are cute.  It’s disgusting,” Virgil commented in an offhand way and Patton giggled.  The three of them sat chatting and giggling for the next couple of hours, Virgil and Logan were becoming pleasantly buzzed while Patton seemed to be heading firmly in the direction of completely wasted after he convinced them to do a round of shots, apparently forgetting that with his tiny body and low alcohol tolerance he was the least likely to be able to handle it.

“Noooooo, Virge, we totally can! C’mon Logan, back me up!” Patton was practically trying to crawl into Logan’s lap at this point, his voice high and whiney.

“Patton, on this occasion I feel inclined to agree with Virgil,” Logan pinned Patton’s grabby hands to his sides as he spoke “It’s just not practical,” he added more sternly.  Patton pouted then crossed his arms over his chest, huffing as he did so.

“You guys are no fun.  We can _totally_ play charades in a booth.  You’re just maaaaaaad because I’m so much better than you,” Patton stuck his tongue out at the pair of them and Virgil giggled at the adorable display.

“Not the way you play charades, Pat, you’ll almost definitely break something if we try and I’m not having that in my bar,” Patton opened his mouth to protest but Logan cut him off

“Virgil’s right, Pat, you are very clumsy,” he was grinning as he said it and Patton turned his adorable mock-angry expression on Logan

“I can’t believe my own boyfriend, my significant other, won’t back me up _even_ when it comes to charades!” Virgil laughed again as Logan tried to placate Patton by kissing him on his freckled nose, when he heard a familiar, sultry voice beside him

“Hey there, storm cloud, fancy seeing you here,” Virgil’s head whipped round to see Roman standing by their table, grinning slyly down at Virgil.  Virgil’s eyes widened in distress

“Roman! What are you doing here?!” he hissed but it was too late, Patton’s giggling had ceased and now both of his friends were looking up at Roman with curious and friendly expressions.

“Hi!” Patton offered brightly, smiling warmly at Roman “Are you a friend of Virgil’s?” Virgil could feel his cheeks heating as Roman’s gaze slide to his, before returning to Patton

“You could say that,” Roman offered, smiling brightly back at Patton.

“Oooh!” Patton clapped his hands in delight “Won’t you join us for a bit?” he asked, practically vibrating in his seat.  Virgil shot Roman a warning look, but he wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention

“I’d be delighted, thank you,” he slid into the booth next to Virgil, placing his drink on the table.  He was so close, Virgil could smell his familiar cologne.  He was reminded startlingly of the most recent time they had been together when Roman had bent him over his sofa, grabbed a fistful of his hair and fucked him senseless.  Virgil shook his head to clear it, vaguely aware that his friends had just finished introducing themselves to one another.  He sensed the dreaded question approaching before it had even left Patton’s mouth. 

“How do you two know each other?” Patton’s expression turned from happy to confused as Virgil blanched

“Well actually, we – “ Roman began but Virgil hastily cut him off.

“He’s just a regular at the bar!” Virgil laughed a tad hysterically.  Patton blinked at him twice while Logan’s eyes narrowed suspiciously

“Is that all?” Logan asked quietly, arching an eyebrow.

“Yeah, _Virge_ , is that all it is?” Roman practically purred at him.  Virgil shot him his most terrifying glare but Roman’s smirk only deepened.

“Wait, I’m confused, what’s going on, Kiddo?” Patton was looking swiftly between Roman and Virgil now

“I thought we were getting to know each other at least a _bit_ by now,” Roman continued, his voice still low and teasing.  Virgil groaned in frustration and then elbowed Roman sharply in the ribs. 

“Wait, oh my god, ARE YOU DATING?!” Patton squeaked, suddenly looking utterly delighted

“NO!” Virgil roared.  He cleared his throat at Patton and Logan’s startled expressions “We’re just, y’know… like, I mean… it’s nothing bad! But yeah, he sometimes…. Or I, well, just….” Virgil’s mumbling trailed off as he let out an exasperated sigh.  Roman’s smile was still impossibly bright while Virgil felt his blush steadily darkening.  Suddenly Logan’s eyes widened in understanding.  He grabbed Patton’s arm and pulled him close, whispering hurriedly into his ear.  Patton’s eyes widened too as a deep blush spread across his cheeks.  Virgil felt mortification tug at his insides as his stomach twisted.  Oh god.  He was never going to live this down.  It would have been kinder to just kill him. 

“Oh! Right! Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Roman!” Patton offered a blinding smile and Roman grinned cheerfully back

“The pleasure is mine, Patton.  I must say I didn’t expect Surly Temple here to have such charming friends,” Roman winked at Patton as Logan’s eyebrows drew together in confusion

“Are you…. Are you flirting with my partner?” he asked, sounding confused more than anything else.  Roman merely smirked at him

“I’m flirting with both of you, actually, thanks for noticing,” Logan blinked a couple of times as Virgil groaned again

“Boy, I need another drink,” he muttered before turning to Roman “Can’t you reign it in for, like, two seconds?!” Roman laughed as Virgil got up angrily to head over to the bar

“Sorry, oh dark and stormy knight, it’s not my fault your friends are hot,” Virgil sighed as he heard Patton giggle.  He grabbed some more drinks and headed back over to their table, sliding back in next to Roman who was now talking animatedly with Patton about Disney movies.  Logan seemed to take advantage of their distraction as he leaned closer to Virgil.

“Why didn’t you mention this?” he murmured, his eyes glinting with amusement.  Virgil sighed and shook his head.

“We’ll talk later,” he muttered, taking a long swig from his drink.  

“Ah yes, Winnie the Pooh is an excellent choice, Patton,” Roman was saying, smiling warmly at Patton

“What about you? Which one’s your favourite?” Patton asked, leaning forwards on the table and slipping due to his drunkenness. Roman and Virgil laughed as Patton righted himself, grinning broadly though his blush

“I couldn’t possibly choose a favourite, to answer your question,” Roman replied, still giggling a little. 

“Oh no, c’mon! You’ve got to pick one!” Patton whined, smacking his hand on the table.

“I really can’t choose one, I’m sorry!” Roman laughed at Patton’s indignant expression.  There was a faint blush on Roman’s cheeks and his smile was so happy and open.  Virgil had to admit it was a very attractive look on him, and seeing him interact so easily with his best friends made something in Virgil’s chest tighten. Well shit, that was dangerous territory.  Virgil dismissed the feeling immediately and tried to focus back in on the conversation.  Patton was now huffing and spluttering as he turned to face Logan

“Which one’s your favourite, Lo?” he asked sweetly.  Logan frowned at him.

“You don’t know what my favourite Disney movie is?” Patton’s eyes grew wide as he looked to Virgil for help

“God, Pat, even I know what Logan’s favourite Disney movie is!” was all he offered instead, smirking at Logan’s mock-insulted expression.

“Oh nooooo!” Patton whined “Okay, wait, I can figure it out! Is it Lady and the Tramp?”

“I’m afraid not,”

“How about Cinderella?”

“Ew, not even close,”

“Emmmm, The Hunchback of Notre Dame,”

“Certainly a good film, but no that’s not it,”

As Patton continued to guess, Virgil decided to take advantage of their distraction.  He leaned close to Roman’s ear

“Follow me, I need to talk to you,” he spoke softly.  Roman turned to him and Virgil levelled him with a significant look before getting up and walking straight to the bathroom.  He leant against one of the sinks as he waited and, sure enough, a couple of minutes later Roman slipped through the door, smiling warmly as he approached Virgil.  He came to stand right in front of him, placing his hands gently on Virgil’s hips and leaning close.

“Hey gorgeous,” he murmured, his breath ghosting over Virgil’s lips.  Virgil’s gaze flicked up to Roman’s eyes before drifting back down to his lips.  One of Roman’s hands had come up to softly brush through Virgil’s hair and oh, he was so inviting.  Completely forgetting what he had dragged Roman in here for, Virgil leaned forward and connected their lips.  Roman sighed contentedly as Virgil pressed in closer, his hands coming up to fist in Roman’s shirt.  He felt Roman’s tongue brush against his lower lip, asking for permission, and Virgil responded enthusiastically, his mouth opening to invite the warm glide of tongues and hot exchange of breath.  Roman leaned back after a couple of minutes, his hand coming to rest on the back of Virgil’s neck. “Come home with me,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to Virgil’s cheek.  Virgil frowned, remembering why he had wanted to speak to Roman in the first place, suddenly feeling a little angry again. He leaned back to look up at Roman

“Why did you just show up without texting?” he asked, allowing some of his irritation to seep into his voice. Roman blinked before answering.

“I did text you, but you didn’t reply and I was passing by on my way home so I thought I’d stop by just to see,” Roman shrugged. 

“Right, and it never occurred to you that I might have plans? Or that I might be here with friends?” Virgil could feel his temper rising a little now.  Apparently Roman was feeling much the same as his face moved into a frown

“Well yeah it did, but believe it or not, Charlie Frown, I actually _like_ coming into your bar.  What’s the big deal, anyway? So I’ve met your friends, it’s not like they think I’m your boyfriend or anything,”

“Yeah well now they definitely think we’re friends,” Virgil muttered, his voice sounding bitter even to himself.  Roman took a step back, putting some distance between them

“What’s so bad about that?” he asked, almost glowering at Virgil.

“Well, _Princey_ , the problem is we’re not looking for friendship, are we?” Virgil snapped.  Roman looked taken aback.

“I might be…” he said softly.  Virgil’s head snapped up to look at him.  He still looked mostly angry, but there was something else in his eyes, something almost like hope or maybe even sadness.  Virgil felt his eyebrows draw together in confusion.

“… You want to be friends…. With me?” his own voice was soft now.  Roman shifted uncomfortably, one hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck.

“Well, I mean, why not? I don’t see any harm in getting to know you,” Roman spoke louder this time, irritation seeping back into his tone.  Virgil huffed out a laugh in disbelief.

“Don’t see any harm? There could be plenty of harm in it, Princey!” Virgil snapped, slipping off the sink edge so he could stand at his full height.

“What? What harm is there in getting to know someone?” Roman demanded, his cheeks flushed with anger.  Virgil groaned in frustration.

“There isn’t normally, moron, but it’s different for us because we’ve been fucking for the last three weeks!” Virgil knew he was raising his voice but he couldn’t help it, how could Roman be so fucking clueless?!

“Yeah, and?” Roman demanded

“ _And_ when people are fucking and they get to know each other they start to get _attached_ to each other and that’s when peoples’ feelings get hurt, jackass,” Virgil really was almost shouting now.  He tried to breathe deeply, desperately trying to calm down before someone else came into the bathroom and saw what was happening.  Roman’s eyes had softened at his words, though, and for some reason now he was smiling.

“Oh Virge, you don’t need to worry about me! No one’s developing feelings here, and besides, I’m a big boy, I can make my own decisions.  Just come home with me, you know we’ll have a great time,” Roman’s voice was sweet and oh so condescending and Virgil felt his last shred of patience snap. 

“You fucking _asshole_ ,” he spat at Roman.  Roman’s eyes flew wide, his smile gone in an instant as he took in Virgil’s furious expression.  “You are without a doubt the most self-absorbed, obnoxious, vapid moron I have _ever_ met,” Roman was angry too now and looked as though he was about to speak but Virgil cut him off. “No, you know what, Princey? Not everything in this world is about you.  Can you even comprehend that?  I’m allowed a self-preservation mechanism as well, not everyone in the universe is thinking about _you_ every second of the goddamn day,” Virgil didn’t even wait for Roman’s reaction, he immediately turned on his heel and stormed out of the bathroom.  He didn’t look over to the booth where Patton and Logan were staring at him in concern, he didn’t even glance at the bar where his employees were watching in alarm.  He didn’t look at any of the customers as he shouldered his way out of the door, walking swiftly staring at the ground as he felt rage and anger pull tightly at his chest.  He wasn’t sure where he was going or how long he walked for before he ended up in front of Logan and Patton’s door, but his feet were aching and he hadn’t even noticed the tears rolling down his cheeks until Patton was hugging him and wiping them away, promising everything would be alright.  Virgil’s tears redoubled as he realised that this time, he didn’t believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... Sorry for the angst!!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! As always, please roast me if you see a typo! I go through every chapter a bunch of times in editing but there's always something I miss!


	4. ...So Call me Maybe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman reflects on his argument with Virgil and realises that he was perhaps not as considerate as he should have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooooooookay I felt bad about leaving you guys with all that angst at the end there so here's chapter 4. 
> 
> I'm writing this fic currently two chapters ahead of the chapters I'm posting (so today I've been working on chapter 6) and having gone over my outline a bunch of times I think this will be about 12 chapters with an epilogue, hope that's okay! 
> 
> In this chapter we are back to Roman's POV now featuring: more Remy (you're welcome), more feelings of insecurity, more guessing what someone's favourite thing is aaaaaand more smut. 
> 
> Enjoy ;)

Roman stood alone in the bathroom staring in shock at the door Virgil had just stormed angrily through.  Oh god.  Something he said had really pissed Virgil off.  No, wait, Virgil had been slightly mad at him for just showing up in the first place.  Roman shook his head and started pacing back and forth, thinking back over their argument and trying to figure out what was going on.  Was Virgil developing feelings for him? It didn’t seem like it… So he was worried Roman was going to start developing feelings for him then?  That was the more likely scenario, surely.  Roman sighed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.  This was the _problem_ with casual sex for Roman.  He was too passionate! Too intense, he always wanted to spend time with the other person.  To get to know them, to understand them more.  It just…. It was better for him if he knew the person, if he cared about them.  Suddenly the bathroom door swung open and Virgil’s friend Logan burst in, looking a little agitated.

“Roman, what happened? Do you know where Virgil has gone?” Logan’s voice was clipped as he eyed Roman suspiciously.  Roman supposed he had every right to be suspicious, really…

“We just had a slight disagreement… I don’t know where he went though, I thought he was going back out to join you guys,” Roman admitted, noticing the slight anger and distrust flash in Logan’s eyes. 

“Right,” he nodded curtly, “It was nice to make your acquaintance, Roman,” Logan’s tone suggested the opposite as he promptly turned and exited the bathroom.  Roman sighed and rubbed his forehead.  This was certainly not how he had hoped this evening would go.  When he had come into the bar and spotted Virgil with his friends, he had felt a rush of excitement at the chance to spend more time with Virgil in a casual setting.  He groaned as he thought of Virgil’s lovely brown eyes flashing with rage.  Maybe he had been right to worry that Roman was getting attached… He sighed as he felt irritation niggle in his chest.  What would be so awful about him getting attached anyway?  He hadn’t felt the slightest inkling to sleep with anyone else since he met Virgil, and the man was clearly intelligent and kind and witty and more than a match for Roman, so why couldn’t they be friends? Roman frowned as Virgil’s words echoed in his head _I’m allowed a self-preservation mechanism…_ Roman sighed again.  Virgil was right, he was being selfish.  It was pretty clear that Virgil had been hurt in the past, or something, and was reluctant to allow himself to be vulnerable and instead of listening to him and respecting him Roman had tried to get him to come home with him instead.  He had patronised him and ignored his concerns.  Roman felt nausea churn in his stomach as he realised how insensitive he’d been.  He would have to apologize. Now.  His head spinning, he made his way out into the bar area, noticing that the booth they had been sitting in was now vacant.  Oh.  Logan had said something about Virgil leaving.  Roman felt a little surge of panic.  He could go and wait at Virgil’s apartment maybe?  No, he probably didn’t actually want to see him right now, and besides just showing up to his _bar_ unannounced had been enough to irritate Virgil, surely turning up on his doorstep uninvited would be much worse.  And also a little creepy now that he thought about it.  Right so, not apologizing in person then.  He ran his hands through his hair again, he still needed it to be sincere though!  He really wanted Virgil to understand that he _was_ sorry.  An idea popped into his head and he turned on his heel, heading for the door as he pulled out his phone.

**To Remy:**

_Can you come over?  I made a huge mistake and I need help fixing it._

**To Roman:**

_Gurl, I can’t leave you alone for 2 seconds. Be there in 20 mins._

 

 

“Okay bitch, talk,” Remy threw himself down on Roman’s couch and helped himself to the packet of biscuits Roman had left there.  Roman sighed and sat down too, blinking a few times to try and gather his thoughts. 

“I had a bit of a fight with Virgil,” Roman began slowly.  Remy merely raised his eyebrows, apparently waiting for Roman to continue. “You know, Virgil? The guy I’ve –“

“Your fuck buddy, you mean,” Remy cut him off.  Roman felt something twist uncomfortably in his stomach.

“No, don’t call him that,” Roman offered quietly.  Remy raised his eyebrows in disbelief

“Well as far as I can tell, you guys have been getting together to have sex, you don’t hang out or talk other than that and you’re not dating,” Remy paused but Roman didn’t speak, “So I don’t really know what else you would call it.  I don’t think you even qualify for friends with benefits because you’re not even friends,” Remy shrugged, stuffing another biscuit into his mouth.

“Yeah that’s the problem,” Roman replied miserably.  Remy blinked but said nothing so Roman went on, “I stopped by his bar earlier just to see if he was around and he was there with some friends and they asked me to join them and I did and we were all getting along great, and then Virgil and I made out in the bathroom and I asked him to come home with me and then he got mad and we yelled at each other a bit and then he stormed off,” Remy blinked again, apparently taking a moment to allow the information to sink in. 

“Okay so he got mad when you asked him home, did he say why?” Remy asked carefully, his usual teasing lilt gone from his voice.

“Kind of.  He was upset that I had shown up without asking first and then he got angry when I said I wanted to get to know him because when people who are sleeping together get to know each other they get attached or something,” Roman sighed before continuing, “He’s completely right, I was a total jerk and I wasn’t thinking about his feelings at all,” he finished, picking at a loose thread on the cushion beside him.  Remy hummed in thought.

“Okay, so you were an ass, you pissed him off, you’ve realised it, you apologize.  What’s the issue?” Remy was looking at Roman intently now. 

“I want to apologize to him sincerely! But I don’t want to show up uninvited because that _clearly_ bothers him, but I also don’t just want to send a text… And I also do stand by what I said to him, I do want to be friends with him.  He’s interesting,” Roman sighed, watching as Remy nodded to himself.

“Okay, first off, you can apologize sincerely by text so stop worrying about that one now.  Not everything you do has to be some big, grand gesture.  Second, you really want to be friends with him?” Remy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes!” Roman shot back

“But you don’t want to stop sleeping with him?” he asked, eying Roman now. Roman shifted uncomfortably

“Not if he still wants to…” Roman mumbled, feeling his cheeks warm.  Remy smirked.

“But you don’t want to date him?” Roman hesitated as he thought.

“…. I don’t think so, not yet anyway. I just want to get to know him,” Roman finished.  He looked up at Remy, who was watching him with calculating eyes.  A slow smile pulled at his lips.

“Okay, so, tell him that,” he shrugged and then pulled out his phone and started tapping.  Roman stared at him in mild surprise, blinking a couple of times.

“Wait, what?” Remy clicked his tongue impatiently.

“Use. Your. Words. Be clear and concise, tell him what you want and then ask him what he wants.  If you want the same things, you go ahead and you do it.  If not, you either find some kind of compromise or you stop seeing each other. Boom, done.  Honestly, gurl, I’m the most asexual person I’ve ever met and somehow I still know more about casual sex than you do,” Remy was grinning now, sending Roman a teasing look before holding up his phone to take a quick picture of Roman’s shocked expression.

“Oh, yeah, okay….  I guess that does make sense,” Roman replied, fidgeting again.  He could do that, he could tell Virgil honestly what he wanted and then respect whatever Virgil wanted to then do with that information.  He sighed deeply, feeling some of the tension finally leave his body.  Exhaustion crashed over him like a wave but there was still one thing he needed to do before going to bed. “Will you help me write an apology text?” he asked tentatively, watching as Remy grinned at him.

“Sure thing doll, but make us some tea first,”

 

Two hours later Roman was finally curled up in bed.  Remy had only just left, insisting on staying long after they had finished writing the text to rewatch Vine compilations until they could barely keep their eyes open.  Roman grabbed his phone and opened his messages to read the text he had sent to Virgil one last time before finally giving in to sleep. 

**To Virgil:**

_Hey Virgil, I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about the way I acted this evening.  You were absolutely right, I was being a selfish moron and I wasn’t considering your feelings at all.  I’m really, truly sorry and if you’re willing, I’d really like to buy you a coffee tomorrow and apologise in person.  If you don’t want to see me anymore I completely understand and I won’t bother you again if you don’t reply to this text. Sorry, again. Hope you’re okay._

 

 

 

 

Roman woke to an incessant buzzing right next to his head.  He groaned loudly as he rolled over.  _Why_ had he set his alarm on a _Sunday_ , his only day off?!  He grabbed his phone to silence the alarm to find that it was actually ringing, the name _Virgil_ blinking up at him from the screen.  Suddenly his brain was running at 100 miles an hour.  He sat up straight and hit answer, pressing the phone to his ear as quickly as he could.

“Hello?” he sounded both breathless and hoarse.  _Like I’ve just come back from the dead after running a marathon or something_ he thought to himself, then frowned at his own inner voice. 

“S’up asshole,” Virgil’s low, drawling voice sounded through the phone, clearly teasing and Roman smiled in relief.

“Hey, how are you?” he asked softly.  He heard a low chuckle over the line

“M’fine.  Except I feel like a bit of a dick.  Listen I’m sorry about last night, I read your text and it was actually really sweet or whatever,” Virgil was mumbling but Roman could still hear him clearly.

“I’m sorry too, are you free today? Do you want to get coffee?” Roman felt the words rushing out before he could stop them

“Yeah sure, I’m not working today.  Want to meet this afternoon?” Virgil asked quietly but Roman was sure there was a smile in his voice. 

“Sure!  Just text me a time and place and I’ll be there, Surly Temple,” he quipped, smiling when Virgil huffed a surprised laugh. 

“You got it, gorgeous,”

 

 

 

As Roman stood outside a small coffee shop in the mid-afternoon sun he began to regret his decision to wear a denim jacket.  He was due to meet Virgil here in about five minutes, and he was somehow unable to shake the nervous energy that had settled over him as soon as Virgil had texted him with a time and place.  And now he was sweating.  Because he was too warm in his denim jacket.  He was pulled out of his idle thoughts by the sight of Virgil rounding the corner and walking quickly towards him, his head ducked down and his hands buried deep in the pockets of the huge hoodie he often wore, apparently regardless of the weather.  Virgil glanced up a moment later and spotted Roman, offering a tiny smile as he approached. 

“Hey there, Princey,” he said as he came to a halt in front of Roman.  Roman felt himself smiling

“Greetings, oh dark and stormy knight,” he offered in return, his smile stretching even wider as Virgil rolled his eyes. 

“C’mon let’s get coffee before I lose the will to live,” Virgil muttered, pushing past Roman and into the coffee shop.  Roman followed behind him, scanning the menu as Virgil ordered, and then ordering for himself before paying for both of them.  They waited at the counter for their drinks in silence, and then made their way to a small table by the window.  Roman immediately pulled the straw out of his plastic cup and started using it as a spoon to eat the whipped cream that was generously piled on top of his iced mocha.  He glanced up to see Virgil staring at him, his nose wrinkled in disgust. 

“What?” Roman asked, self-consciously rubbing at the sides of his mouth. 

“Nothing, just… how can you drink that?” Virgil took a sip from his own mug and Roman took the liberty of leaning closer to see what he ordered.

“Right, coming from someone who ordered black coffee?” Roman smirked

“I like my coffee black - ”

“Let me guess, like your soul?” Roman quipped, taking in the amused glint in Virgil’s eyes.

“No.  I like it black because coffee is too important and pure to be tainted with such things as sugar and dairy.  When we drink coffee we are supposed to suffer in order to remember that existence is pain,” Virgil finished his little speech with a wink.  Roman blinked a couple of times before coming to his senses.

“Wow you really are an emo nightmare.  Did you just never come out of your angsty teenage phase?” Roman smiled brightly at Virgil’s look of mock disdain

“Why stop at teen angst when you could go the whole way and have late-twenties angst too!” Roman laughed as Virgil put on a cheery voice and gave an overly enthusiastic thumbs up before returning immediately to his usual dead-inside expression.

“Goodness gracious, I bet your favourite band is Panic! At the Disco or something,” Roman giggled at his own joke before he noticed Virgil’s cheeks starting to redden as he raised his mug in an attempt to hide behind it.  Roman’s eyes widened in delight. “ _No way_ , it IS Panic! At the Disco?!”

“NO!” Virgil almost shouted, his blush deepening and Roman cackled at the sight

“Oh but I’m close, aren’t I? I can feel the angst radiating off you! I bet I could guess it!” Virgil scowled but didn’t say anything.  Roman thought for a moment, mentally scanning over his music collection from his own angsty teen years. “Okay, is it Green Day?” he offered.  Virgil shook his head, his blush still a deep red but Roman could see he was fighting a smile now too. “Riiiight. Oh, I know! It’s My Chemical Romance,” Virgil wrinkled his nose but still offered nothing. Hmmm. “Wait, what about Death Cab for Cutie?”

“Oh come on!” Virgil looked slightly offended at that one

“What, they’re good! No? Okay, let’s see…. Fall out Boy?” another shake of Virgil’s head, “Paramore?” Virgil actually hissed at that “All Time Low? Blink 182? 21 Pilots? Escape the Fate? Taking Back Sunday?” Virgil was still shaking his head, but his eyes had been growing steadily wider. “What about Brand New?” he asked.  Virgil’s brow furrowed in confusion

“Brand New? I’ve never even heard of them!” Virgil muttered, then his eyes flashed with amusement “I can’t help but notice that you’re listing an awful lot of bands without having to think too hard, is it at all possible you never came out of _your_ angsty teen phase?” Virgil narrowed his eyes as he smirked at Roman.  Roman simply smirked back as he thought harder.  Then it hit him.

“It’s Evanescence isn’t it?” Virgil blinked several times as his cheeks turned redder than Roman had ever seen them.  Roman cackled as Virgil glared at him across the table.

“Alright then, jackass, what’s your favourite band? I bet it’s something really stupid,” Roman was still laughing as Virgil spoke and it took a moment before he could respond. 

“Ahh, I actually don’t have a favourite band,” Roman shrugged, finally calming down enough to take a sip from his drink.  He glanced up to see Virgil frowning at him again.

“That’s what you said to Pat last night about Disney movies…” Virgil mumbled.  Roman frowned now and shrugged one shoulder. “Do you read fiction?” Virgil asked suddenly.  Roman blinked twice.

“Eh, yeah sometimes…” he wasn’t quite sure what Virgil was getting at, but Virgil didn’t give him much time to wonder

“Okay then, what’s your favourite book?” Virgil asked, leaning forward a little, his gaze intense.  Roman shrugged again

“Well, I guess, there are loads of great ones I wouldn’t say I have a - ” Virgil cut him off

“Okay, what about flowers? You got a favourite flower?” Roman was sure his confusion was showing on his face, but Virgil was still looking at him, his eyes full of determination

“I really love flowers, actually,” Roman mumbled

“But you don’t have a favourite?” Virgil pressed.  Roman shook his head, beginning to fidget with his nails under the table.  “How about this one, what’s your favourite colour?” Roman’s head snapped up and he grinned broadly at Virgil.

“My favourite colour is red,” he replied brightly, “Are you satisfied?” he added, smirking as Virgil continued looking at him as if he were trying to solve a puzzle. 

“So how come you don’t have a favourite book, or flower, or band, or Disney movie or whatever, but you have a favourite colour? Are you just not interested in that other stuff?” Virgil asked, finally leaning back in his seat.

“It’s the opposite, actually! I like all those things so much! I’ve read so many incredible books, seen so many life changing films, plucked and smelled so many beautiful flowers, experienced so much incredible music that means so much to me that I just _can’t_ choose because they’re all so different, and they all so special in their own ways. Most of the time I can’t even begin to compare them to one another because they’re all so unique,” Roman smiled at Virgil’s slightly awed expression.

“Woah, Princey,” Virgil sighed and ran a hand through his hair “That’s actually pretty fucking cool,” he added, a small but genuine smile playing about his lips.  Then his eyes narrowed in suspicion “But you have a favourite colour?” Roman laughed loudly

“Everyone has a favourite colour, Doctor Gloom,” he smirked as Virgil rolled his eyes again and dropped his head into his hands in apparent frustration.  He felt his smile grow as he noticed Virgil’s nails were painted, a purple so dark it was almost black.  Not only that but they were badly chipped, yet he didn’t seem to care.  Virgil looked up and smiled softly, and Roman didn’t even stop to think before he was speaking again “See, this is what I meant last night…. You’re so interesting Virgil, and I really would like to get to know you better,” he spoke softly, but Virgil’s smile still slipped from his face.

“Roman….,” he immediately began shifting uncomfortably, fiddling with the zips on his hoodie sleeves.  “It could get so complicated,” he was almost whispering, and Roman leaned closer so as not to miss a word he said. “When you start blurring the lines, y’know? Sometimes people… or things, they get….. urgh.  It just, it could be a really bad idea,” he trailed off, clearly torn.  Roman nodded as he thought over Virgil’s concerns.

“How about this, we keep going more or less as we are now, but we maybe have a shot at being friends too.  And we make a pact here and now to remain 100% honest and open with each other at all times, so if at any point either of us wants the sex to stop or the friendship to stop, or even both to stop, then that’s what we do,” Roman was looking intently into Virgil’s face, hoping upon hope he was conveying how much he meant this, and how much he wanted it.  Virgil bit his lower lip, his eyebrows drawn together in concern.

“I don’t usually fuck my friends on a regular basis, Roman…” he offered quietly

“It’s a bit unusual, I’ll admit, but I really don’t want to stop unless you do,” Roman was speaking very quietly now.  Virgil tilted his head up a little to look Roman in the eye.  “Do you want to stop, Virgil?” he breathed, heart beating fast in his chest.  Virgil shook his head slowly. Roman let out a long breath as he leaned back a little. 

“Okay, Princey, we’ll give it a shot. BUT if this gets out of control, or really weird or whatever, then it’s on you,” Virgil was smirking again as he picked up his mug to take another sip of coffee.  Roman was pleased to note that he had visibly relaxed a little too.  “So, what are you doing today?” Virgil asked conversationally.

“Nothing, Sunday is my day off,” Roman replied brightly, lifting his cup to lick a particularly large glob of cream from the edge.  Virgil snorted at the display.

“Sexy,” he huffed.  Roman winked. “Well, I’m not working today either, but I stop by the bar every day for at least twenty minutes to make sure it’s not, like, on fire or anything,” Roman was nodding along to show Virgil that he was listening “But, if you want we could, like, go catch a movie or something?” he offered tentatively.  Roman beamed at him

“I’d love that!” he replied.  “We could choose a movie to go see and then stop by your bar afterwards?” he added, smiling as Virgil pulled his phone out of his pocket.  Virgil grinned wickedly.

“Sounds like a plan, Princey.  What lame-ass movie do you want to go see then?” he asked quirking an eyebrow.  Roman spluttered indignantly

“I’ll have you know, Jack _Smell_ -ington, that my taste is absolutely impeccable in every area, including films, thank you,” Roman placed a hand on his chest, allowing himself to pout a little as he spoke.

“Whatever you say, sir sing-a-lot, just choose something so we can go before I change my mind,” Virgil’s tone was bored, but he could see the amused glint in his eye, and the slight upward tilt of his lips, so he kept up his over-the-top act for a little longer in the hopes of making Virgil laugh again at least once before they left.

 

 

 

 

 

Roman was smiling brightly as he walked side by side with Virgil up to his apartment.  Roman had been here on a number of occasions over the last few weeks since Virgil’s apartment was closer to his bar and on the nights they spent together Roman would often meet him there.  Roman smiled as he realised that this was the longest amount of time they had spent together so far, almost the entire day.  Roman beamed as he thought back over how lovely it had been.  In the end Virgil had picked some heist movie for them to go and see, which Roman hadn’t been particularly interested in, but what he had enjoyed was listening to Virgil talk about it afterwards.  The way he began to gesture more freely as he got lost in what he was saying, analysing the plot and characters.  They had then gone to Virgil’s bar so Virgil could feel comfortable in the knowledge that the place was still standing and all of his staff were alright.  Afterwards Roman had convinced Virgil to go with him to get some dinner and now here they were, stopping in front of Virgil’s door.

“Em, do you wanna come in, or whatever?” Virgil asked quietly, not meeting Roman’s gaze.

“Sure, if you don’t mind,” Roman smiled a little as Virgil nodded then unlocked the door.  Roman walked in after him and then stood a little awkwardly in the entryway, not quite sure what to do.

“Sit your ass down and I’ll get you a drink if you like,” Virgil said as he walked passed Roman, chucking his keys in a bowl near the door as he went.  Roman relaxed a little at that and slipped his shoes off before hanging up his jacket.  He then headed into the living room, plopping himself down on the sofa and blushing faintly at the memory of what they had been doing last time he was on this couch.  Virgil appeared a minute later with two bottles of beer, passing one to Roman as he took a seat next to him, immediately starting to drink from his own bottle.  Roman followed suit, setting his bottle down again as Virgil began shifting uncomfortably. “So. This is a little weird, huh?” he offered quietly.  Roman shrugged.  Virgil put his own bottle down and turned to face Roman on the sofa.  Roman smiled warmly as he placed his hands gently on Roman’s shoulders and leaned a little closer.  “Is this okay?” Virgil breathed, so close Roman could almost count individual eyelashes.

“Please,” Roman almost whispered in reply.  And then they were kissing.  But it wasn’t like most of their previous kisses, all heat and passion and urgency.  This was slower and somehow more delicate.  Virgil’s lips were gliding softly against his, his hands still resting gently on Roman’s shoulders.  Roman pulled back for a moment to tilt his head slightly, then he pulled Virgil’s lower lip between his own, slowly and gently.  He felt Virgil sigh into the kiss and practically melt as Roman brought both of his hands up, one to cradle Virgil’s cheek and the other to brush gently through soft, silky hair.  Virgil sighed again, a content sound, and then opened his mouth to flick teasingly at Roman’s lips.  Roman hummed and opened his mouth too, sliding closer to Virgil on the sofa as he began exploring the other’s mouth.  Virgil let out a slightly breathy moan as Roman moved to press kisses all along his jaw and down his neck, nipping gently as he went.  Roman bit down on Virgil’s exposed clavicle causing him to moan louder and then Virgil was shifting, swinging one of his legs over to straddle Roman.  He yanked Roman’s head back up by his hair and reconnected their lips, this time hot and impatient.  Roman bucked his hips up, feeling Virgil’s growing erection rub against his own.  He brought his hands down to grab at Virgil’s ass while Virgil rocked his hips into Roman’s, still moaning softly. 

“Mmmm, Roman, can I suck you off?” Virgil breathed before pulling Roman’s lower lip between his teeth and licking teasingly.  Roman groaned and nodded, kissing Virgil again desperately before he pulled away and began to move down to kneel on the floor between Roman’s legs, tugging at his jeans to undo them and free his cock.  Virgil smirked as he began languidly stroking up and down his already rock hard length. “Enjoying the view?” Virgil purred, his voice smug, then he began to kitten lick all the way up Roman’s dick, from root to tip.  Roman almost whined as Virgil pulled back and resumed his languid strokes “God you’re so fucking hot, Ro,” he breathed, then he leaned forward, smiled up at Roman with an incredible amount of innocence, before tossing him a wink and then swallowing him down whole.  Roman moaned long and loud, unconcerned about the noise he was making because _oh my god he could not describe what a turn on that innocent look had been right before Virgil had so eagerly taken his cock into his mouth holy shit!!_   Virgil was dragging his head back up achingly slowly, just the slightest graze of teeth and oh god, if he kept this up Roman was going to find his release embarrassingly quickly.  Roman tangled his fingers in Virgil’s soft hair, tugging gently and Virgil began to build up a slow rhythm, flicking the head with his tongue every time he came up and then deep throating Roman and moaning around him and oh god it was pure bliss.  So warm and hot and wet. Virgil was moving faster now, still moaning around Roman’s length causing him to feel those delicious vibrations and he was climbing very quickly now. 

“Virgil! Virge, if you keep going I’ll- ” Roman warned but Virgil abruptly pulled of

“I want you to cum in my mouth,” he murmured, his voice hoarse, before he swallowed Roman down again and oh god that was the end for Roman.  He began to thrust gently into Virgil’s mouth as Virgil moaned more insistently around him and then he was coming, softly chanting Virgil’s name as waves of pleasure rolled over him.  Virgil pulled off and swallowed before tucking Roman back in and smirking up at him.  Roman grinned back and then, suddenly getting an idea, launched himself off the couch to tackle Virgil to the ground.  “Oh my god, what are you doing?!” Virgil yelled but he was laughing as well.  Roman kissed him deeply, moaning a little at the taste of himself in his mouth. 

“I think it’s your turn now,” Roman murmured, pressing a kiss to his lips before shifting down and undoing Virgil’s jeans.  He tugged them down a little and then began sucking the head of Virgil’s cock through the soft material of his boxers and Virgil moaned loudly, his hands trying to grasp at the carpet beneath him as if it were bed sheets.  Roman pulled off and began kissing Virgil’s exposed stomach where his shirt had ridden up.  He tucked his fingers into the waistband of Virgil’s boxers, then looked up into wide brown eyes. “Can I take these off?” he asked slowly.

“Jesus, Roman, if you don’t I will!” Virgil replied, leaning his head back down.  Roman chuckled and then pulled Virgil’s boxers down enough to free his length.  He kissed the head to gather the not-insignificant amount of precome gathered there and then swirled his tongue around the head.  Virgil groaned and grabbed hold of the hand Roman had clutched at Virgil’s waist.  “Please, Roman!” Virgil sounded utterly wrecked so Roman decided not to waste any more time.  He immediately began working Virgil’s length, taking him a bit deeper each time and using his other hand to push up Virgil’s shirt and tease his nipple, pinching lightly the way he knew Virgil liked.  Virgil moaned louder and began bucking his hips as Roman had done.  Roman mentally smiled and took him further, gently encouraging him to thrust as much as he needed.  Virgil’s moans got higher and breathier until he was coming and shouting Roman’s name.  Roman pulled off and made Virgil decent again before moving to lie down on the floor next to him, both staring up at the ceiling.  They were quiet for a moment as Virgil’s breathing steadily returned to normal.  After a few minutes he let out a long sigh and Roman turned his head to find Virgil looking at him, his face so close their noses almost brushed.  “Y’know what, Princey, maybe this whole friends thing is gonna work out after all,” he drawled.  Roman laughed and elbowed him in the side.

“I sure hope it does, Marilyn Monrose,” Virgil snorted at that and it was such a nice sound.  Roman smiled and moved to sit up. 

“Do you want to crash here tonight?” Virgil asked tentatively.  Roman turned to smile at him.

“Thanks for the offer, Virge, but I’m actually leading a class pretty early tomorrow morning so I should probably go home and get some sleep,” Virgil nodded as he spoke, then pushed himself into a sitting position as well.

“Alright well in that case, get the fuck out of my flat,” Virgil smirked.  Roman laughed and got to his feet, making his way to the door with Virgil just behind him.  He slipped his shoes back on and shrugged on his jacket before turning to Virgil who was leaning against the wall, watching him with tired eyes.

“Thanks for today, emo nightmare, I had a good time,” he offered lightly, smiling as he spoke.  Virgil blinked then smiled too.

“Yeah it wasn’t awful.  I’ll see you soon, loser,” Virgil replied and Roman grinned wider before turning and letting himself out, glancing over his shoulder as he heard Virgil close the door behind him.  As he waited for the elevator he pulled out his phone to fire a quick text to Remy.

**To Remy:**

_I took your advice, we talked and we’re gonna get to know each other and keep sleeping together._

When he stepped out of Virgil’s building a few minutes later and began walking home he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.  Still walking, he pulled it out of his pocket to look at the message, feeling a grin tug at his lips as he read the reply.

**To Roman:**

_Congrats. You’ve officially graduated to Friends with Benefits. Have fun and don’t you dare tell me any details this time because BITCH I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!_

Roman smiled to himself as he walked.  Friends with benefits.  Okay, it was new but he could totally do this.  They could definitely be friends with benefits.  People did that kind of thing all the time.  What could possibly go wrong…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaah thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and, as always, roast me if you see a typo!! (I appreciate all of your comments so so so much by the way, they're really helping me to write this story <3)


	5. And then Something Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil reflects on his new arrangement with Roman and decides to speak to Logan about his insecurities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guuuuuuuuuuuys I'm really struggling with chapter 6 atm sooooo I'm hoping that if I just go ahead and post this it might motivate me to get through the next bit!! 
> 
> In this chapter we have: Virgil's POV, Logan being the best friend ever (TM), a lil bit of angst aaaaand Roman being an absolute cutie!! Oh and more sex. Obvs. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Virgil sighed angrily as he continued to sweep broken glass off the floor.  It was 3pm, 3pm and he was already sweeping up broken glass!  He looked up to glance round the bar and noticed the guy who had smashed said glass looking rather sheepish.  He let out a long breath trying to calm himself.  _Come on, Virgil, it’s not like he did it on purpose.  People drop glasses all the time, it’s okay._ Feeling a little calmer, he finished sweeping before dumping the broken shards into the glass recycle bin and then returning to the counter for a moment’s peace before somebody else either ordered or broke something and he would have to deal with it.  He felt exhausted and grumpy.  After agreeing to be what basically boiled down to friends with benefits with Roman yesterday he was feeling a little antsy.  He’d had a good reason for being against it in the first place, but Roman had looked so damn hopeful with his brilliant green eyes shining and looking at Virgil as if he actually believed he _was_ worth being friends with and not just fucking and, well, Virgil couldn’t deny that that had felt pretty damn good.  Only now after they had spent time together Virgil couldn’t help but notice that Roman was really funny.  And nice.  And sweet.  And attractive.  Urgh.  Virgil huffed a sigh and shook his head, trying to clear it.  Even if Roman was all those things (he was) and even if the sex was really amazing (it was) there was no denying the fact that Virgil was just not ready for a relationship.  After what happened last time he had promised himself never to get caught up in feelings like that again, unless he was _sure_.  Really sure.  So even if he _had_ wanted to date Roman, it was completely out of the question.  Which is why this whole being friends thing was risky.  Virgil thought back over Roman’s laugh, the way his eyes crinkled at the sides when he got that big, stupid, goofy smile when he’d said something he thought was funny.  He thought of strong hands holding him close, heated kisses and breathy moans.  Even if it was risky, Virgil had a feeling he wasn’t willing to give it up just yet.  Self-preservation aside, he was undeniably having a good time so why not keeping it going for a little while longer at least?  Having already come to this conclusion three separate times today, he sighed as he grabbed a cloth and moved to wipe down some of the tables and collect any empty glasses, resigned to wait until his anxious brain would begin ruminating again, as it always did. 

The rest of his shift passed by in a typical Monday afternoon fashion.  Not many customers, but dealing with this week’s delivery, making sure next week’s rota was in order, maintaining bills and other payments, getting the biggest cleaning jobs out of the way.  By the time 6pm rolled around and one of his employees was coming in to start the next shift he felt completely drained.  He made a conscious effort to try and release some of the tension in his shoulders as he trudged home, but it didn’t do much good.   He sighed and pulled out his phone thinking of the best way he knew to help him relax at the moment.

**To Roman Prince-of-your-Dreams:**

_Hey loser, are you free tonight?_

 

He had only walked a few more paces before he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. 

**To Virgil:**

_Sorry, storm cloud, I’m catching up on work.  Maybe later this week?_

Virgil sighed as he slipped his phone back in his pocket.  That shot his initial idea down in flames.  He walked on, fighting off his intrusive thoughts, not even realising he was headed to Logan and Patton’s until he found himself in front of their door.  He knocked and waited until the door was pulled open to reveal Logan behind it, still in slacks and a button up shirt, but apparently his tie had been discarded.  Logan offered Virgil a small smile before stepping to the side to let him in.  Virgil grinned back, brushing passed to head to the open plan living room and sit down in an armchair and wait for Logan to join him.  A moment later Logan was handing him a mug of coffee and then sitting down on the sofa, turning his head slightly to look at him. 

“Sorry, you weren’t busy were you?” Virgil asked before blowing gently on his steaming coffee.

“Not at all, you are always welcome here, Virge,” Logan replied, smiling again.

“Yeah, I know, nerd,” Virgil mumbled, unable to keep the fondness from seeping into his voice. “Where’s Pat?” he asked

“It’s Monday so he’s down at the soup kitchen helping them make the sandwiches,” Logan’s smile was so small and gentle as he spoke about Patton “I imagine he’ll be back in under an hour,” he added, turning back to Virgil.  Virgil nodded vaguely.  Logan eyed him a little suspiciously.  “How was your coffee with Roman yesterday? I am intrigued to know if it was a positive experience after the distress he caused you the previous night,” Virgil sighed, he supposed he had probably wanted to talk about it since his subconscious had apparently brought him here, but Logan certainly wasn’t beating around the bush. 

“It was actually really nice, Logan.  He explained himself and, made some…” Virgil paused as he remembered Roman’s head between his legs, he cleared his throat and carried on, “…Some very _compelling_ arguments so we’re going to keep seeing each other and, y’know, we’re going to be friends,” Virgil finished with a small nod.  He glanced over to see Logan looking at him sceptically. 

“Right… So you just had coffee and talked?” Logan asked, his voice deadpan.

“No, we went to see a film too,” Virgil mumbled, hiding his reddening face in his coffee.  Logan quirked an eyebrow.

“A film?” he asked quietly, a small smirk tugging at his lips “And then you parted ways?” Virgil sank lower in his chair

“We may have….not,” he almost whispered.  Logan regarded him for a moment as Virgil felt his blush intensify. 

“So what you are telling me is you essentially went on a date with him?” Logan’s face was free of judgement and almost entirely passive, but Virgil didn’t miss the glint of mischief in his eyes as he spoke.  Clearly he was fully aware of what he was doing. 

“Oh shut up, Lo, you know it wasn’t.  We were just hanging out,” Virgil muttered.  Logan made a vaguely affirmative noise. 

“Virgil, have you considered it might not actually be a bad thing to pursue a romantic relationship with Roman?” Virgil mustered all the contempt he could so that he would be able to provide Logan with his most unimpressed glare.  When he felt he had just about managed it he turned his gaze to Logan, who merely raised an eyebrow and waited. 

“I’m not going to dignify that with a response, Lo,” he muttered once the silence had stretched on for almost a minute. 

“Two things, Virgil, A) you just did, so that statement is redundant and B) it has now been some time since your most recent romantic relationship.  I understand that you were badly hurt, and have needed time to heal but it also seems evident that you like this Roman a little more than just for the sex,” Virgil looked over to see that Logan’s eyes had turned soft with kindness and concern.  He sighed and shifted a little.

“Look. I know, okay? He’s interesting and hot and I haven’t wanted to sleep with anyone else since I met him. But I’m messed up from last time and Roman… he doesn’t need any of that.  It’s better this way.  This way we actually, maybe have a shot at being friends, or at least something like friends.  And we’re having a good time so as long as there are no expectations and the boundaries are clear then, there’s nothing to lose right?” Virgil realised he had been fiddling with the zipper on the sleeve of his hoodie as he spoke.  He looked up from his hands when Logan cleared his throat a little. 

“You’re not ‘messed up’, Virge, you’re a normal person.  And you are deserving of love and care and partnership if that is what you wish.  You don’t have to punish yourself forever over what happened,” Logan spoke softly, staring at Virgil with earnest eyes. 

“Everybody’s messed up, Lo,” Virgil murmured, so quietly he almost wasn’t sure he’d said it.  “And I’m not punishing myself, I’m just saving anyone else the trouble of dealing with me,” Virgil looked up to see that Logan’s eyes were shining with tears threatening to spill over.  Virgil’s heart started racing in panic.

“That sounds like a punishment to me, Virge…” Logan’s voice was so incredibly quiet, so sad and almost broken.  In his panic Virgil pulled his lips into a wide grin.

“Hey, c’mon, Lo!  It’s nothing that serious!  I’m totally fine and I’ve been fine on my own for years now! Things are great the way they are, you don’t need to worry!” Virgil’s voice sounded a little hysterical even to himself.  Logan was blinking rapidly, but it seemed he was managing to reign his emotions in.  Virgil felt hot, nasty guilt settle unpleasantly in his stomach as he realised he was the one making Logan feel like this.  _Some friend you are…_ a rather unkind voice echoed in his head. 

“It pains me to know you think so poorly of yourself. I can do no more than reaffirm how much you mean to me, Virgil.  You are my dearest friend.  If you truly do not wish to pursue a relationship with him, or indeed anyone, then I will, of course, drop the subject.  I will, however, say this.  If you and Roman are going to be friends, Patton’s going to want to be friends with him too…” as Logan spoke Virgil’s eyes widened as he realised the magnitude of what he had just said. 

“Oh god you’re right.  Patton’s going to want to know everything about him,” Virgil spoke quietly, but apparently it was still loud enough to be heard over a key turning and the front door being thrown open and then Patton’s happy voice was ringing down the hallway

“Hiya, Kiddos! Who will I want to know everything about?” he called cheerfully.  Logan grinned as he looked over at Virgil

“You better not say any of the stuff you just said to me, he’ll tie you down, force feed you cookies and smother you with love and affection until you stop putting yourself down if you do,” he whispered to Virgil as Patton bustled in the hallway.

“Tie me down? Sounds kinky,” Virgil winked and sat back to enjoy watching Logan’s cheeks flush red.

“Okay, what did I miss?” Patton asked, his smile bright and his eyes shining.  Logan threw Virgil a wicked grin before turning to address Patton.

“Virgil’s been having a bit of a rough day,” he said in a sympathetic voice, only Virgil could detect a slight hint of mischief in there.  Wide, concerned eyes turned to Virgil as Patton’s expression became deadly serious.  He walked over to Virgil, clutching the small canvas bag he had with him, and kneeled on the floor in front of Virgil.

“Hey, kiddo?” Patton’s voice was incredibly soft and sweet

“Yeah?” Virgil did his best to sound as innocent and nonchalant as possible.  Patton gently reached into the bag and pulled out a small tin lunchbox, opening it to reveal the most delicious smell Virgil had ever encountered in his _entire god damn life_.

“Would you like a cookie?”

 

 

 

 

 

Virgil was lying flat on his back, staring up at his own ceiling and trying to catch his breath as he came down from his post-orgasm high.  Roman lay next to him, also on his back, with his hips next to Virgil’s head and vice-versa. 

“Y’know, I’d never actually done a 69 before,” Roman offered conversationally.  Virgil snorted and glanced down at Roman who was beaming up at him.

“Well? Whatd’ya think?” Virgil slurred slightly, his brain still not quite fully functioning yet.  Roman hummed pleasantly.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to doing it again some time,” he flashed Virgil a cheeky grin and Virgil huffed a laugh. 

“Geeze, Princey, it sounds like before you met me all you ever did was missionary in silence,” Virgil quipped.  He looked down at Roman when there was no response. “…Roman? Have I struck a nerve?” Virgil asked, only half teasing now, slightly concerned that Roman might be upset.

“Well, I mean, it’s just…. You’re not exactly wrong… a lot of the stuff we’ve done together has been new for me,” Roman mumbled.  Virgil pushed himself into a sitting position so he could look into Roman’s face properly.

“I honestly wouldn’t have been able to tell,” he offered quietly.  “You carry yourself with such confidence,” Roman’s eyes brightened a bit at that “And if there’s ever anything you wanna try, just ask.  I’m down for pretty much anything and I’ve got a lot of sex toys and stuff if you’re ever in the mood to try something new,” Virgil winked as he watched Roman’s cheeks turn rosy.  He grinned through it none-the-less.

“That sounds awfully tempting, Virgil, do you really mean it?” he asked quietly, his eyes looking slightly too hopeful for Virgil to believe he was only teasing. 

“Sure! What are friends for?” he quipped.  Roman laughed at that and Virgil smiled at the sound. Virgil turned to look at the clock and inwardly sighed when he realised he was already running a little late.  “Listen, Princey, I gotta motor soon I need to be in the bar by six,” he informed Roman, stretching a little before getting up and glancing around his room for a towel. 

“No problem, my chemically imbalanced romance,” Roman smiled brightly and began pushing himself off the bed and collecting his clothes.  As he watched him out of the corner of his eye Virgil suddenly remembered Patton’s words from three nights ago.  _Oh, you and Roman are going to be friends? That’s wonderful, invite him to movie night this week._  As the words came back to him he recalled the no-room-for-argument tone Patton had used, despite his sweet and innocent smile.  Well, even if he invited Roman there was no guarantee he would say yes…

“Hey, Roman…” Virgil began cautiously.  Roman made a light humming sound to show he was listening “Em, you remember my friends Patton and Logan?” he brought one hand up to rub at the back of his neck.  Roman turned to face him having managed to wrestle his jeans back on.

“Yeah?” Roman’s expression was open and interested, although perhaps a little apprehensive. 

“Well they, eh, they’d really like to get to know you better and nearly every Friday or Saturday night we get together to watch movies or documentaries or like go for a drink or whatever and, yeah, you get it,” Virgil stopped talking abruptly.  God, why was he suddenly feeling so jittery?  Roman’s eyebrows drew together in confusion

“Actually, Virge, I don’t really get it… What are you trying to say?” Virgil groaned and clenched his fists, trying to get his bearings.

“They wanted me to invite you to our movie night.  Tomorrow.  It’s tomorrow night,” he had been looking at the ground as he said it, but he decided to risk a quick glance at Roman’s face.  He looked up to find that Roman actually looked… really happy.  In fact, he was positively _beaming._ Virgil’s eyes widened in alarm.

“You guys really want me to come to your movie night?” Roman asked delightedly, his voice a little high with excitement.  Virgil blinked at him a couple of times

“Eh yeah? It’s really not that big a deal,” Virgil watched as Roman continued to grin like a 5-year-old who’d just been given $100 and free reign in a candy store. 

“It is to me! I’ll be there!” Roman almost _sang_ it. Virgil shook his head as Roman tugged his t-shirt over his head. 

“Okaaay.  I’ll text you the time and address,” Virgil mumbled and Roman somehow smiled even wider.  The expression was so innocent, so sweet and big and goofy that Virgil couldn’t help it, he leaned forward and kissed Roman gently on the cheek.  Roman blushed, which made him look even cuter and Virgil couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped him.  “Anyway, get the fuck out of my flat, theatre nerd, I’ve gotta shower before work!” Virgil teased.  Roman laughed before throwing his hands up

“Okay, okay I’m going!” he made his way to the front door and Virgil followed, securing a fluffy towel around his hips as he went for common decency.  Roman paused with his hand on the door handle and turned to smile at Virgil. “So I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked brightly.  Virgil just rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, you got it, gorgeous.  Now get going,” Roman smiled one more time before letting himself out.  Virgil padded into the bathroom and turned on the shower.  As he stood waiting for the water to warm he realised that he still hadn’t stopped smiling.

 

 

 

 

 

“Virge? What time did you ask Roman to get here?” Patton called to Virgil from the kitchen.  Virgil checked his phone quickly.

“He should be here any minute, Pat,” Virgil called back.  He was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the sofa, shovelling cashew nuts into his mouth.

“Are you nervous?” Patton asked softly as he sat down on the sofa next to Virgil’s head, running his fingers gently through Virgil’s hair.  Virgil shrugged as he shoved another handful of cashews into his mouth.  At that moment there was a knock on the door.  Virgil’s head whipped round as Logan got up to answer it.  Patton squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.  The next thing he knew Logan and Roman were re-entering the living room, Logan with his usual passive expression and Roman simply _beaming_ at them. 

“Hey Panic! At the Everywhere, how’s it going?” Roman asked, somehow smiling even brighter.  Virgil huffed out a laugh.

“Hey there Princey,” he replied.  Patton was grinning up at Roman now and Virgil smiled again as they greeted each other.   Roman then proceeded to give Patton the gift of wine and popcorn he had brought with him which was followed by Patton practically squealing and then gushing about how thoughtful Roman was.  _This_ was then followed by a spiel from Roman about Patton’s endless kindness and generosity for inviting him to their movie night in the first place, and it certainly looked like their feedback loop of praise wasn’t going to stop any time soon unless one of the others intervened.  Thankfully, Logan did just that.  He placed his hand gently on Patton’s arm and coaxed him into the kitchen area in order to pour out the wine and make the popcorn.  Roman grinned brightly at Virgil and sat down on the sofa next to his head.

“How was your day?” Roman asked, smiling down at Virgil.  Virgil shrugged.

“Same as usual.  Running a bar actually isn’t all that interesting, it’s mostly just the same thing every day.  What about you?” Virgil shifted a little as he spoke, deeply aware that he was so close to Roman he could smell his cologne. 

“It was great, thanks!” Roman said enthusiastically, “The students did some really interesting stuff in one of my workshops today, it’s awesome to see how people react to improv games!” Roman’s eyes lit up as he talked about his work, and Virgil found himself smiling fondly.  Logan and Patton came back in at that moment, handing both Roman and Virgil a glass of wine and small bowl of popcorn each. 

“So what are we watching tonight, Pat?” Virgil asked from his spot on the floor.  Roman was directly behind him now and Virgil was leaning back against his legs while Logan and Patton sat cuddled together on the sofa next to Roman. 

“I was hoping we could watch Big Hero 6, since its Logan’s favourite Disney movie,” Patton said, shyly looking up at Logan as he spoke.  Logan smiled warm and bright.

“I see you finally remembered, Patton,” he said quietly, still smiling.

“Why’s that one your favourite, Specs?” Roman asked, grinning over at Logan.  Logan glanced sideways at the nickname.

“Well, apart from it being interesting, well animated, a celebration of nerds and intelligence, it was actually the movie Patton and I went to see on our first official date about three and a half years ago,” Logan’s cheeks flushed red as he spoke and Patton almost squealed in delight.

“Lo!!! You never told me that was the reason! That’s so sweet!” Patton’s gushing caused Logan to blush even deeper. 

“Wow that is really sweet!”  Roman remarked genuinely, although it wasn’t loud enough for Logan or Patton to hear it over Patton’s continued exclamations of delight.  They eventually got round to actually watching the movie, laughing together and teasing one another especially when Patton and Roman both cried towards the end.  Once the movie finished Patton insisted that they all play snap together. 

“You’re going down, Princey,” Virgil smirked at Roman from the other side of the coffee table they were all sitting around.   Roman quirked an eyebrow and leaned closer so only Virgil could hear him

“I certainly hope so, storm cloud,” he winked as he drew back and Virgil felt his cheeks warm. 

“Please refrain from flirting when the game officially commences,” Logan deadpanned and Patton giggled, sitting right next to Logan and attempting to cuddle up to him.  Evidently he was feeling extra cuddly after Logan’s reveal of his reasoning behind Big Hero 6 being his favourite Disney movie.  The following 40 minutes was a blur of competitive shouting from Virgil, Roman and Logan as their game play got progressively more and more violent.  Meanwhile Patton sat amicably smiling at all of them and interjecting now and then with _It’s the taking part that counts!_ And _Now don’t be mean, kiddos!_ When Logan smacked the table particularly hard and _very_ close to Roman’s hand Patton put his foot down and ended the game.  It wasn’t long before the evening was winding down and Virgil found himself standing at Patton and Logan’s door with Roman just behind him saying good night.

“Thanks so much, Pat,” Virgil murmured as Patton hugged him tightly, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he pulled away. 

“You’re more than welcome, kiddo!” he beamed back at Virgil before turning to Roman to hug him as well.  Roman looked pleasantly surprised to receive a hug from him.  As they embraced Virgil turned to Logan and gave him a quick one-arm hug. 

“Thanks, Lo,” he offered quietly and Logan smiled, warm and happy. 

“You know we love having you around, Virgil,” Logan replied softly and Virgil smiled back.  The four of them said their final goodbyes and then Roman and Virgil turned and walked to the end of the corridor, waiting for the lift in silence once Patton and Logan’s door had closed. 

“What time are you working tomorrow?” Roman asked in a low voice, his lips quirked into a sly grin.  Virgil felt a smirk tugging at his own lips. 

“Not until 4 in the afternoon, why?” Virgil replied in the most sweet and innocent voice he could muster. 

“I think in that case we should go to mine, if you would like to join me, my dark and stormy knight” Roman replied, slipping his hand around Virgil’s waist and tugging him a little closer.  At that moment the elevator doors opened and they sprang apart as an elderly lady made her way onto the landing.  She eyed them both suspiciously as Virgil ushered Roman into the lift.  He waited until the doors closed again before swiftly grabbing Roman’s jacket and pulling him into a scorching kiss.  Virgil pulled back a moment later and smiled up at Roman’s slightly dazed expression. 

“Sounds good to me, Princey,”

 

 

 

 

 

Almost as soon as Virgil had stepped through Roman’s door he felt strong arms spin him around and push him up against the wall.  He barely had time to collect himself before Roman was kissing him, gently nipping his lower lip with his teeth and then running his tongue over it.  Virgil opened his mouth in response, letting out a small excited gasp at the smooth glide of tongues and hot exchange of breath.  Roman ran his hands up Virgil’s sides, pulling him closer as he did so, and then he was shoving Virgil’s jacket off his shoulders, their kiss becoming sloppy until Roman was kissing and nipping along his jaw while he shrugged his own jacket off and let it fall to the floor.  Virgil slipped his fingers through Roman’s belt loops and pulled their hips together, rocking gently as Roman sucked lightly on Virgil’s neck. 

“Virge,” Roman purred right against Virgil’s neck and he felt himself shiver in response “There’s something I want to try…” Roman went on, before sucking on Virgil’s neck again. 

“Mmmm, what is it?” Virgil asked, threading his fingers through Roman’s hair and then tugging his head back to look at him.  Roman’s cheeks coloured a little but his eyes flashed with determination before Virgil saw him slip into his sultry, flirty persona. 

“I’d really love – “ he paused, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Virgil’s mouth before leaning close to speak right into his ear, “To fuck you in the shower,” Virgil’s knees almost gave up on him there and then.   
“I am _definitely_ not opposed to that, Roman,” he replied, then he leaned up to kiss Roman again, beginning to open the buttons on his shirt as he went.  When he reached the last button he leaned back to push the shirt off Roman’s shoulders, admiring the tan skin and strong muscles beneath his hands as he ran them down Roman’s arms and then all around his chest.  Roman’s cheeks were flushed again but he was smiling as he pulled Virgil’s t-shirt over his head and then they were kissing again, moaning into one another’s mouths as eager hands grabbed at jeans and belts, pulling and pushing until both of them stood in only their boxers.  Roman glanced towards the bathroom but seemed to hesitate so Virgil smiled and squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“Go and grab the lube from the bedroom, I’ll get in the shower and you can meet me there,” he murmured.  Roman grinned and made his way into the bedroom, humming to himself as he went.  Virgil shook his head, trying to wipe the fond smile from his face as he watched Roman go.  He slipped into the bathroom and turned the shower on, waiting for a moment to allow the water to warm up before he pulled his boxers off and stepped into the warmth, relishing the feel of the water on his skin. 

A moment later Roman was stepping in to join him, a small bottle of lube in his hand.  Roman moved to put the bottle down but Virgil placed a hand gently on his wrist and shook his head.  Roman’s eyebrows drew together in confusion but Virgil merely smirked at him before turning around and bracing his hands on the slippery tiled wall, spreading his legs a little and arching his back in a way he was _sure_ would make him look very appealing.  He glanced over his shoulder and, sure enough, Roman was looking at him with an unbelievably intense heat in his eyes.  Virgil sighed contentedly when Roman leaned forward, placing a hand on Virgil’s side and pressing hot, wet kisses down his spine.  A moment later he felt a slick finger pressing around his entrance, massaging him gently.  Virgil relaxed into the touch, enjoying the sensation of Roman’s other hand gripping tightly at his hip.  Roman leaned in closer and began pressing open mouthed kisses across Virgil’s shoulders, nipping occasionally and Virgil was feeling so pleasantly relaxed that when Roman began finally pushing his finger in Virgil moaned deep in his throat without even realising he was making a sound.  Roman continued kissing Virgil’s shoulders and neck as he began to slowly pump his finger in and out, his pace achingly slow.  Virgil breathed deeply, the steam from the shower making his brain pleasantly fuzzy and he allowed himself to get lost in the feeling of Roman kissing and biting his back, of him pushing at his insides, beginning to stretch him already.  He moaned again when Roman pulled almost entirely out and then began pushing in with two fingers.  Virgil gasped in surprise when he suddenly felt Roman’s tongue at the base of his spine.  He shuddered as Roman dragged his tongue _oh_ so slowly all the way up his back, along his spine and up to his neck, all the while moving his fingers in and out just a little faster. 

Roman was now kneading Virgil’s ass with his free hand while he pushed in again with three fingers this time, really stretching him now.  Virgil realised he was moaning softly while rocking his hips back onto Roman’s fingers.  He was covered in a thin layer of sweat, the steam and warm water from the shower fogging his brain in the loveliest way.  With a jolt he realised Roman had stopped kissing his shoulders and was in fact speaking to him.

“…beautiful, so so beautiful, Virge, are you ready?” Roman’s voice was ragged and low and Virgil shivered as he tuned into what Roman was saying, moaning as Roman’s fingers pressed firmly against his prostate. 

“Mmmm, god, yes, Roman, _please_ I’m ready!” his own voice was breathy and almost wrecked.  Roman kissed Virgil’s neck, close to his jaw as he pulled his fingers out.  There was a moment’s pause while Virgil assumed Roman was employing more lube.  Suddenly, strong hands were gripping his hips and Roman was mouthing at his shoulders again as their hips were aligned.  Virgil let out a steadying breath as he felt Roman begin to push in and then he moaned long and low as he felt himself stretch further, the burn quickly melting into a clawing need.  Roman paused when he eventually bottomed out and Virgil huffed impatiently, grinding back against Roman’s hips.  Roman moaned and bit down hard on the junction between Virgil’s shoulder and his neck, causing him to shiver, and then Roman was pulling out again, oh so slowly. 

Virgil took another deep breath when Roman paused again, the steam making his head spin, and then Roman was pressing in again and _oh god_ it was _so slow_ but he could feel every inch of him for it.  Roman continued to thrust almost unbearably slowly with one hand gripping Virgil’s hip and the other coming up to tease around his nipple and Virgil’s head was heavy and foggy and all he could do was _feel_.  “Roman, please, more!” Virgil begged, his voice sounding wrecked in his own ears and finally Roman began to build up into a steady rhythm, driving in hard each time and Virgil could hardly tell where he was, what was up or down, everything was just hot, sweet, burning pleasure.  Roman was beginning to thrust much faster now and Virgil could feel his own thighs trembling, a tight heat tugging low in his abdomen feeling like a coil spring tightening and tightening.

“Oh fuck, Virge, I’m close!” Roman’s voice was close to his ear, he could feel his chest pressed against his back, his hips moving hard and fast. 

“M-me too, Roman, please!” Virgil forced out, cutting off into a moan as Roman brought one hand down to start pumping his cock and that final stimulation was exactly what Virgil needed.  He moaned long, loud and high as his released finally came, hitting him like a freight train then washing over him in blissful waves of pleasure.  He was sure he must have blanked out for a moment because the next thing he knew he could feel Roman pulsing inside him, shuddering at his back and then they both stilled panting heavily in the rapidly cooling spray.   “Oh my god that was amazing,” Virgil breathed, leaning heavily against the tiled wall.  He heard a soft chuckle behind him and then an incredibly soft kiss was pressed to the back of his neck.  Roman pulled out of him slowly and carefully and Virgil sighed, straightening his back and turning around and feeling the water cascade down his back.  He blinked and then smiled up at Roman who was now lathering shower gel in his hands.  He began gently massaging Virgil’s shoulders and back, still facing him, soapy fingers moving slowly over his now completely relaxed body.  Virgil leaned up and kissed him again, coaxing his mouth open and allowing his tongue to glide slowly along the roof of Roman’s mouth. 

“Thank you, Virge,” Roman murmured when he pulled back.  Virgil smiled sleepily.

“What for?” he asked softly

“For letting me try new things,” Roman’s voice was so quiet, so soft and sweet Virgil couldn’t help but smile. 

“Anytime, Princey,” Virgil offered quietly.  Roman pressed a kiss to Virgil’s hair and then resumed washing him tenderly.  Slowly, Virgil did the same for Roman until they were both clean and sleepy.  Roman shut off the shower and stepped outside, wrapping Virgil in a big fluffy towel once he stepped out too.  They got dry and then Roman was pulling Virgil into the bedroom and handing him fresh boxers and one of his sleep shirts and they were soft and smelled like Roman and Virgil could feel a warm happiness settle in his chest.  Roman wrapped his arms around him and then pulled him into his bed, cuddling close and Virgil could feel himself drifting off to sleep in warm strong arms, too sleepy to worry about boundaries and labels, feeling only contentment as he fell asleep with the taste of Roman still on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy that shower scene sure was...... steamy! ;)
> 
> I apologise for nothing.


	6. Suddenly Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an eye-opening conversation with Remy, Roman realises that his feelings for Virgil maybe encompass a little more than just friends with benefits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT is UP everyBODY?! I had some trouble with this chapter but I finally got somewhere with it! I just got a job teaching English in Hong Kong and I start in like 3 weeks so updates will be a little slower while I find my feet and get everything organised for moving but I AM going to keep writing this story because it's my baby and I love it.   
> In this chapter: Roman's POV again, more Remy (cause I know y'all are sluts for him), some feeeeeeeeeelings and more sexy times.

Roman could feel consciousness tugging slowly at his brain.  He was vaguely aware of his alarm blaring close to his head, and of an irritated grumbling coming from the body he had wrapped in his arms.  Somewhere in his sleep-addled brain he realised it was Virgil he was cuddling so he snuggled even closer, pressing his face into soft, sweet-smelling hair.  Virgil wriggled a little in his arms.

“Hey, loser,” he mumbled sleepily, his voice low and gravelly from lack of use, “Turn off your fucking alarm,” the bite Virgil probably intended was lacking due to his sleepy softness.  Roman grunted and rolled over, smacking his phone until the beeping and buzzing stopped.  He sighed softly and rolled back over, wrapping his arms around Virgil’s middle again.  “What time’s it?” Virgil slurred slightly as he spoke.

“Mmm, half seven,” Roman replied sleepily.  Virgil let out an annoyed huff

“Why do you get up at half seven on a Saturday?” he asked, his voice still thick and groggy though a little louder now.

“Cause I work at ten,” Roman mumbled in response, nuzzling the back of Virgil’s neck softly, enjoying the warmth and intimacy. 

“Urrrrgh, okay let’s get up then,” Virgil grumbled “Can I use your shower?” he asked quietly.  Roman nodded and pressed a kiss to Virgil’s hair before pulling his arms back to allow Virgil to wriggle out of the bed.

“Just grab a towel from the closet over there,” Roman instructed, drawing the blanket closer around himself. 

“Don’t go back to sleep, jackass!” Virgil complained, his voice much stronger now.

“Won’t. Promise,” he mumbled in reply.  He heard Virgil sigh and listened to him move around the room, most likely finding a towel.  Roman cracked an eye open to look and saw Virgil wrapping one of Roman’s towels around his hips, leaving the sleep-shirt and underwear Roman had lent him in the hamper.  Roman smiled as Virgil left the room, thinking fondly over the night before, how Virgil’s friends had welcomed him so readily and how he and Virgil had enjoyed teasing one another.  His thoughts were interrupted by a loud shout from the living room.  Roman’s eyes flew open, his mind racing into action as he flung the covers back and ran out into the hallway.  Had Virgil been hurt?  He had to make sure he was alright! He stumbled into the living area as fast as he could to see Virgil staring angrily at Roman’s sofa, clutching the towel tightly around his hips, his cheeks flushed _beet_ red.  Slowly, Roman looked over to the sofa to see Remy sprawled across it, sipping from a Starbucks take-away cup and peering at Virgil over the top of his sunglasses.  Slowly, Roman’s heartrate began to return to normal. 

“Guuuurl,” Remy drawled, looking from Virgil to Roman, “You have _got_ to warn me not to drop by when you have company,” Roman smiled sheepishly as Virgil turned wide accusatory eyes on him.

“Eh, Virgil, this is my best friend Remy. Remy, this is Virgil,” he offered, feeling his cheeks flush under Virgil’s incredulous gaze. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, doll, really.  Especially dressed as you are, I, like, honestly can’t think of better circumstances,” Remy smirked at Virgil and Roman watched as his cheeks flushed deeper and his eyes flashed with panic. 

“I feel like it’s worth mentioning at this point that Remy is ace. Eh, do you want to quickly grab some clothes Virge?” Roman offered tentatively.  Virgil blinked then nodded rapidly before turning and retreating into the bedroom.  Roman sighed and sat down on the sofa next to Remy, grateful for the sweatpants and t-shirt he had decided to wear to bed last night. 

“So, what d’you think? Is he ever gonna come out of there?” Remy asked, his voice light and teasing.  Roman huffed a laugh.

“Honestly, probably not.  Man I really regret giving you that key right now,” he joked, nudging Remy’s shoulder with his own.  Remy grinned wickedly. 

“I see the whole friends with benefits thing is working out well for you guys then,” Remy commented, turning back to his drink. 

“I guess…” Roman started but at that moment Virgil re-emerged from the bedroom, fully clothed, and came to stand on the other side of the coffee table, looking over at Remy with a guarded expression. 

“Sorry about all of that, doll,” Remy barely glanced at Virgil before getting his phone out and tapping away on it “Roman and I go _waaaay_ back, y’see, and I usually stop by here Saturday morning so we can, like, carpool for work or whatever,” Virgil raised his eyebrows at that, looking between the two of them.

“Oh, you work at the arts college too? Are you a drama teacher?” Virgil asked politely, his expression still unsure.  Remy huffed indignantly

“Ugh, an _actor_? Ew, no.  I can’t believe you even said that.  My job is way cooler than that.  I’m like this super awesome events manager, _actually_.  I’m head of Artistic Planning for the college, so I’m like kind of a big deal, bitch,” Remy didn’t look up from his phone as he delivered his speech.  Roman felt himself smile fondly as Virgil looked mildly impressed.

“Oh, em, cool.  Listen, Princey, I’m gonna take off since I’m apparently disrupting the routine…” Virgil trailed off, eyeing Remy a little distrustfully.  Roman smiled and got to his feet, pressing a quick kiss to Virgil’s cheek. He was so lovely in the morning, soft eyes and mused hair and pale skin, it never failed to make Roman want to look after him.  To wrap him in soft blankets and bring him warm coffee and hold him close.

“Not a problem, Hot Topic, let me just get the door for you,” Virgil nodded as Roman brushed passed him.  The pair made their way to his door.  “Last night was fun,” Roman offered quietly as he opened the door for Virgil.  Virgil stepped into the corridor and turned to face Roman. 

“Yeah it was,” Virgil replied, smiling a little. “Shoot me a text next time you wanna hang or fuck,” he winked and then offered Roman a lazy two-finger salute before turning on his heel and sauntering off.  Roman watched him go for a few steps before closing the door and heading back down the hallway to join Remy on the sofa.  Remy had apparently lifted up his sunglasses to rest on his head and was now looking at Roman expectantly.  He sighed heavily.

“What is it, Remy?” he asked, allowing some of his exasperation to seep into his voice.

“Weeeeeell, I just couldn’t help noticing that, y’know, you’ve been ridiculously happy this last week aaaaaaaaand the way you were looking at him this morning was, like, pretty gross and gooey with puppy-dog eyes and all that shit, sooooo I’m just saying…” Remy pursed his lips and continued staring at Roman, seemingly searching his face for a reaction.  Roman blinked a couple of times and thought back over the last week.  Firstly, he and Virgil had had that argument in Virgil’s bar, but then they had spent the day together for the first time which really had been lovely, and then they had gotten together for sex on the Thursday which had also been great and then there had been last night; where Virgil had invited him to come and spend time with his closest friends and had then come home with him and slept in his clothes, warm and soft in his bed.  And when they had woken up together, Virgil hadn’t talked about leaving immediately.

“Remy, how is the whole Friends with Benefits thing supposed to work?” he asked tentatively.  Remy raised his eyebrows, his expression sceptical. 

“You’re asking me?” was all he offered.  Roman huffed a laugh at that, causing Remy to smirk.

“It’s just that, well, I think he’s really lovely and beautiful and we have such a great time when we’re together and this morning when we woke up together all I could think about was covering him in a blanket and looking after him,” Roman admitted, staring down at his hands as he fidgeted with his fingernails.  Suddenly Remy was taking his hands gently in his own and squeezing them reassuringly.  Roman looked up to see Remy gazing at him with gentle eyes. 

“Roman, I say this to you with all the platonic love I have for you in my heart,” Remy’s voice was calm and quiet, all hint of teasing or silliness entirely gone.  Roman felt his heart beat harder as he waited for what his dearest, most trusted friend had to say to him “You are a total, fucking, dumbass idiot,” Roman snatched his hands back and scowled as Remy cackled, his usual mischievous glint back in his eyes. 

“Thanks a lot, Remy,” Roman mumbled grumpily.  Remy laughed some more before placing a hand on Roman’s shoulder, encouraging Roman to look at him. 

“Gurl, in all my asexual knowledge, from what you just said to me, I can confidently tell you that you, my friend, are falling for this guy. _Hard_ ,” Roman searched Remy’s eyes for the joke, for a tell-tale sign that he didn’t mean it but when he looked into his friends face all he saw was genuine, open honesty. 

“Oh god,” Roman breathed, running over the last month again quickly in his mind, “Oh my GOD I am!” he yelled, panic starting to pulse through his veins “Remy, what am I going to DO?!” Remy immediately placed his hands firmly on Roman’s shoulders, looking into his eyes to ground him.

“You’re going to stop freaking out, first of all,” Remy said firmly, his face serious “You just need to come up with a game plan! Come _on_ gurl, this is what you’re best at!  All that romantic stuff!  You guys are becoming friends now, and clearly whatever sex you’re having must be pretty great because the two of you are at it _all the time_ , so just do your thing!  Seduce him with your romantic and caring ways until you guys are dating and he hasn’t even noticed!” Remy finished, smiling enthusiastically and shaking Roman a little by the shoulders.  Roman bit his lip nervously

“But Remy, what if I get too intense again and I scare him away? Y’know, like last time…” Roman trailed off, looking away from Remy as his cheeks burned in shame.

“Hey, hey, c’mon now,” Remy’s voice was suddenly gentle, his hands squeezing softly at Roman’s shoulders.  “It is _not your fault_ that the last guy you dated was a total asshole.  All that stuff he said wasn’t even true, Roman, you’re the kindest and most thoughtful person I know and I actually _really_ think you have a shot here, if you want to take it,” Remy’s voice was still kind but there was an underlying edge of firmness as he spoke about Roman’s ex.  Roman felt himself relax a bit at Remy’s words. 

“Okay, thanks, Remy,” he murmured quietly, “Can I, like, run everything by you first though, to make sure I’m not doing anything creepy?” his voice was even quieter now. 

“Of course, gurl, that’s what I’m, like, here for or whatever,” Remy’s voice was still kind and gentle, but a little of his usual attitude had slipped back in now.  “ _Any_ way, if you’re all done having a crisis can we maybe like, head to work?” he added, poking Roman’s side to make him squirm.  Roman jumped and then laughed. 

“Yeah okay, let’s get going,” Roman replied, getting to his feet and then pulling Remy up with him. 

“And Roman,” Remy added, his tone serious again, “Just take it slow, okay?  You’ve got this,” he added, taking Roman’s hand and squeezing it hard.  Roman smiled brightly and blinked back emotional tears, once again feeling incredibly grateful for his wonderful best friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roman stood in his kitchen looking down at the tomatoes he was chopping while the smell of sizzling onions and garlic filled the room.  Over the last two weeks he had picked up a lot of extra classes to teach and had even had the opportunity to go into a couple of local high schools and do some work with the kids there.  However, this had meant his free time had become very limited, and whenever he had happened to have an evening off, Virgil had been unavailable, so Roman hadn’t seen him since his conversation with Remy when he had realised the depth of his feelings.  As he methodically chopped he thought of deep brown eyes, flashing with passion and fire, or soft with vulnerability, or shining with mirth.  He thought of the low, rumbling voice teasing and joking with wit so sharp it could cut through glass.  He thought of dark eyeliner and chipped nail polish, of dyed purple hair and jet black earrings.  He thought of that warm and welcoming bar, and of the fiercely intelligent man behind it creating a safe queer space for people to hang out and flirt and go on dates and get to know one another and he was falling _so hard._ He was ripped from his thoughts when his phone buzzed violently in his pocket.  It was a text from Virgil letting him know he was on his way.  Roman quickly scraped the tomatoes into the sizzling pan on the stovetop, hoping his pasta sauce would be done in time.  Virgil had texted him that morning asking if he were free tonight and since Roman was he had invited Virgil over with the hopes of beginning The Plan.  The Plan (formed by himself and Remy at 2:26am three nights ago) was simple.  Virgil and Roman were fast becoming friends and Roman was definitely developing hopelessly romantic feelings towards Virgil.  But Virgil was clearly very guarded and gave off vibes of being uncomfortable with relationships and labels.  So, The Plan, in all its glory, was to simply carry on as they were, with Roman showing Virgil how much he meant to him with small gestures (like cooking dinner for him, as he was now) until eventually they are dating and Virgil hasn’t even noticed.  At which point there will probably be some grand declaration of love from Roman.  Roman smiled to himself as he stirred the pasta sauce.  Whatever it was in Virgil’s past that was stopping him from letting people in, Roman hoped he could push past it with a slow, steady stream of affection and reassurance that Virgil was in fact one of the most wonderfully fascinating people Roman had ever met.  He went about making his pasta sauce, the motions familiar to him and so his mind wandered while he cooked.  Soon enough dinner was ready, left to simmer on the stove, and Roman was pacing in the living room when there was a sharp knock at the door.  He tried to keep calm but his heart was pounding as he rushed to the door, pulling it open to reveal Virgil on the other side looking _completely gorgeous_.  Roman felt his mouth drop open as he took in Virgil’s outfit.  He was wearing a skirt.  And it was the coolest and most attractive thing Roman had ever seen probably in his entire life.  The skirt was completely black, made of several different materials layered over each other, silk and mesh and fabrics Roman couldn’t even name, and underneath was a black petticoat causing the skirt to swish around his thighs as he walked passed a still completely stunned Roman.  And that’s when Roman realised that he was also wearing fishnet tights.  And knee length lace up boots.  And Roman was going to die, this was it. 

“Eh, Princey? You okay over there?” Roman snapped his eyes up to Virgil’s face as he spoke.  He was wearing more eyeliner than usual too, winged eyeliner and eyeshadow and _oh god_ he was so beautiful.  Roman cleared his throat and almost choked on his own spit. 

“Hey,” was all he managed.  Virgil smirked up at him then turned and sauntered into Roman’s kitchen, swaying his hips a little as he went.  Roman supressed a groan and followed, finding Virgil inspecting the pasta and homemade sauce still simmering away. 

“This smells good, Princey, what’s the occasion?” Virgil’s tone was light and casual.  Roman coughed again and took another shot at speaking

“I made you dinner…” he managed to get out.  Virgil’s eyebrows rose in surprise

“Oh.  Wow, em, thanks Roman, you didn’t have to do that,” Virgil was blushing and looking down at his feet now, and that was thankfully enough to allow Roman’s brain to come back online.  He smiled brightly. 

“What are friends for?” he offered cheerfully “I love your outfit,” he added in a much lower sultry tone.  Virgil looked up through his eyelashes, a smirk tugging at his lips again

“I thought you might,” he murmured.  Then he looked Roman up and down and his smirked deepened, amusement flashing in his eyes, “And yours is quite dashing, I must say, the apron is very becoming,” Roman looked down at that and, yes, he was indeed still wearing his apron.  The apron Remy had got him.  The apron that was in fact just a large print of someone’s very muscular naked chest.  The lower body was included too, clad only in very low-riding speedos.  Roman felt his cheeks flaming as he grinned back at Virgil.

“I do think it suits me,” Roman offered, twirling on the spot and causing Virgil to snort.  Roman felt a flutter in his chest at the sound.  He stopped spinning and smiled warmly at Virgil, who offered a tiny genuine smile in response.  “Come on, emo nightmare, let’s eat,”

They spent the next hour and a half sitting on Roman’s sofa, eating pasta and catching up.  Virgil told him about any rude or funny customers he had gotten over the last two weeks, and he filled Roman in on Patton and Logan’s usual antics, apparently Patton had offered to foster a kitten for five days without talking to Logan about it first, which had almost led to a huge argument (mostly, it seems, because Patton is allergic to cats) but evidently as soon as Logan had actually met the kitten in question he had melted immediately and grudgingly allowed it to stay for the duration.  Roman couldn’t help but grin broadly as Virgil spoke about his friends.  His eyes lit up whenever he mentioned them, a fond smile always crossed his lips and it was so soft and beautiful.  Roman definitely wanted to get to know Logan and Patton better.  It was fairly obvious that Patton was an absolute sweetheart, but Logan was far more reserved.  And yet the way Virgil talked about him, it seemed that there was another side to him, a very gentle, kind and thoughtful side.  Roman had seen a glimpse of it at their movie night when Logan had told Patton why Big Hero Six was his favourite Disney movie.  When Virgil was finished gushing about his friends, Roman told him about his classes and workshops, about the fun he had had with the high school kids and he told him about the night he had gone bowling with Remy and some of their co-workers when Remy had perhaps had a little too much to drink and had attempted to do a strip tease in the middle of the bowling alley.  Virgil laughed so hard and unexpectedly at that that he almost choked on some pasta.  Once they had both finished their dinner Roman turned so he was cross-legged on the couch, facing Virgil, who had crossed one leg over the other and was turned slightly to face Roman.  He had taken off his leather jacket some time ago to reveal a loose tank top underneath which was tucked into the waistband of the skirt which sat just above Virgil’s hips.  He was so gorgeous, and so appealing in this particular attire, that Roman was having a hard time concentrating on anything Virgil was saying as he spoke animatedly about… wait, what had he been saying?

“… and I just think it’s really important that they have that kind of representation, especially in a kids show, y’know? We never had any of that shit growing up,” Virgil’s voice was low and relaxed as he spoke, he was clearly at ease even though he was evidently talking about something he was passionate about.  Roman furiously wracked his brain to try and remember what they had been talking about.  Virgil blinked a couple of times, dark eyes searching Roman’s face, before a smirk spread slowly over his lips “Were you even listening to me, Princey?” he asked, his eyes flashing with amusement.  Roman felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Yeah! Of course, representation, it’s awesome,” his attempt sounded weak even to himself, and he grinned bashfully as Virgil laughed, loud and uninhibited.

“I’m sorry, Princey, is Steven Universe too intellectual a topic for you?” Virgil was grinning wickedly now and Roman chuckled, attempting his most charming smile

“Not in the least, oh dark and stormy knight, I just found myself getting a little….distracted,” he allowed his voice to lower a little in pitch, glancing down to then look up at him through his eyelashes, hoping that it looked at least somewhat enticing.  Virgil’s own expression was turning suggestive now as he shifted slightly, causing his skirt to ride up a little, revealing more of his pale thighs.  Roman suddenly realised he was staring and snapped his eyes back up to Virgil’s face.  Virgil looked nothing short of entirely self-satisfied as he shifted on the couch, moving to straddle Roman’s hips.  Roman’s hands settled on his hips without him even thinking about it, like they belonged there.  He blinked, looking up into impossibly deep eyes and Virgil moved closer, his eyes flicking between Roman’s own and his lips.  He was so close now that Roman could feel his breath ghosting over his lips and then he stopped, looking straight into Roman’s eyes.

“Is this okay?” Virgil spoke so softly, almost a whisper, but there was just a hint of his low, gravelly voice, and Roman felt a shiver run up his spine.

“Yes,” he whispered back, and that was all it took.  There was no teasing or soft touches this time, it was immediately hot and intense.  Virgil’s hands were in his hair immediately, tugging hard, causing him to gasp, and then Virgil’s tongue was in his mouth, exploring, gliding, tasting.  Roman tightened his grip on Virgil’s hips, reciprocating the kiss and allowing one hand to slide up to the middle of Virgil’s back, pulling him closer.  Virgil moaned a little, a tiny breathy sound and it was so beautiful Roman wanted nothing more than to make him feel good.  “Shit, Virge, hold onto me,” Roman pulled away from their kiss to speak directly into Virgil’s ear.  He shivered but wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck as Roman tucked his hands under Virgil’s thighs, getting a secure grip, and then he was lifting him and carrying them to the bedroom.  Virgil huffed in surprise, tightening his grip and wrapping his legs around Roman’s waist.  Roman kicked the bedroom door open and somehow managed to make it to the bed without incident.  He placed Virgil right in the centre, pausing for a moment to appreciate how lovely he looked there, and then he hurried to the bedside table to grab the lube, throwing it carelessly on the bed, and the climbing on himself, shuffling until he was sitting with his back against the headboard, his legs out straight in front of him.  Virgil blinked at him a couple of times, apparently a little dazed from his arousal.  Roman leaned forwards and took Virgil’s hands, guiding him to straddle his hips again as he hand on the sofa.  “Want to make you feel good, Virge, please,” Roman murmured, pressing soft kisses to his long pale neck, allowing one of his hands to wander further up his thigh, under the material of his skirt, feeling the fabric of the fishnets underneath.  Virgil gasped.

“Fuck, just do whatever you want to me, Ro,” Virgil’s voice was low and husky, with a hint of urgency as he pulled Roman into a furious kiss, licking deep into his mouth.  Roman groaned and bucked his hips up into Virgil’s, allowing himself to focus on his own pleasure for a moment before he remembered his plan.  He moved both of his hands under Virgil’s skirt now, exploring and feeling until he reached the waistband for both his fishnets and boxers.  He dragged his tongue slowly along the roof of Virgil’s mouth as he tucked his fingers into the waistbands and beginning to drag both down as slowly as he could manage.  Virgil was moaning into his mouth now, his hips rocking slightly as he desperately sought out contact.  Roman kept going until he had dragged Virgil’s boxers and tights about half way down his thighs before he abandoned them, moving one hand up to lightly ghost over Virgil’s cock and bringing the other round to settle on the small of his back under the soft material of his skirt.  Roman felt the minute shiver that ran up Virgil’s spine as he began slowly and softly trailing one finger up and down his length.  He pulled back a little to watch Virgil’s face, and he looked so beautiful with his eyes closed, lips slightly parted and his head tilted back, exposing more of that lithe, enticing neck.  Roman closed all of his hand around Virgil’s cock then, gathering the moisture at the head to add a little slickness and he pumped him slowly, still entirely enraptured by his tiny moans and the gentle roll of his hips.  Roman leaned forward and bit down on Virgil’s neck, licking over the bite afterwards and then sucking on the same spot as he quickened his movements slightly.  Virgil responded, moving his hips a little faster and fisting one hand in Roman’s hair, tugging _hard._   Roman’s cock was throbbing in his pants, but he ignored it in favour of moving his free hand to the little bottle of lube that lay next to them in the sheets.  He continued to work Virgil’s length as he fumbled one handed with the cap, eventually managing to get a decent amount of lube on his fingers, while also spilling some on his sheets (oops…).  Virgil was nibbling gently on his earlobe as he brought his hand back under the skirt, moving to circle a slick finger around his entrance, gentle and teasing. 

“Do you want this, Virge?” Roman asked quietly, his voice deep and rough with arousal.  Virgil groaned and bit him harder

“ _Yes_ , Roman, holy _fuck_ ,” he moaned louder as Roman began pushing in, making sure to keep his other hand moving in a steady rhythm, timing his strokes with Virgil’s laboured breathing. 

“You’re so gorgeous, holy shit, want to make you feel so good, Virge, I want to make you cum like this,” Roman spoke directly against Virgil’s neck so he would feel the vibrations of his voice.  Virgil moaned even louder at that, his cock twitched in Roman’s hand and he began pushing into Virgil with two fingers, not focusing on stretching him but instead working to immediately find his prostate.  Virgil’s breath hitching abruptly gave him the cue he needed, and he began massaging that same spot firmly, over and over and over again, continuing to stroke Virgil’s length, twisting his wrist at the head every so often and Virgil looked _completely_ blissed out and that was exactly what Roman had wanted.  He was moaning long and loud now, rocking his hips back on Roman’s fingers and up into his hand and Roman watched his face as he climbed higher and higher.  “You’re so hot, Virge, oh my god, I love watching you come apart,” he found himself speaking without consciously making the decision, but Virgil seemed to like it a lot as his moans quickly became breathier and higher, his movements more desperate as he chased his release.  “I could get off over and over again just watching you, I can’t get enough, Virgil, baby, come for me, come for me _now_ ,” Roman spoke a little louder this time, allowed his voice to sound ever so slightly commanding.

“Roman, oh my _god_ ,” Virgil groaned and then he stilled in Roman’s lap as he came, shuddering slightly with his head tipped back in sheer pleasure and Roman was aching and _so hard_ but he didn’t care at all because Virgil was so beautiful in his arms and he had managed, in some way, to show him that when they were together Roman wasn’t only interested in his own pleasure, that Virgil’s experience meant just as much to him if not more.  Virgil was kissing him again, long and languidly as his body became entirely relaxed and pliant.  Roman withdrew his hands from underneath Virgil’s skirt and then reached over to the bedside table, grabbing a few tissues to clean his hands, and then grabbing some more to clean Virgil.  Virgil buried his head in Roman’s neck, clearly on the brink of sleep.  Roman gently lowered him onto the bed the made to move away when a hand clamped around his wrist pulling him back in.  Roman giggled as Virgil pulled him down into another kiss.

“’ss your turnn now,” Virgil slurred slightly in his sleepy state, his hands moving vaguely in the direction of Roman’s crotch.  Roman chuckled as he gently took Virgil’s wrists and moved them away.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” he said softly, brushing some of the hair out of Virgil’s face.  “Do you want me to help you get changed?” he added, looking down at the knee length boots still clinging to Virgil’s calves. 

“Mmmm, just take my clothes off and leave me here,” Virgil murmured, his eyes tightly shut as he began to snuggle into Roman’s sheets.  Roman laughed slightly too loudly and continued to chuckle to himself as he attempted to unlace Virgil’s boots while Virgil remained entirely unhelpful, refusing to move even as Roman attempted to get his skirt and tank top off.  In the end he left Virgil in his tank top and boxers, leaving his skirt, boots and tights in a pile at the bottom of the bed, before he stripped down to his own boxers and climbed into his bed, unable to stop smiling knowing that he had an entire night ahead of him with Virgil in his arms again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE ROAST ME IF YOU SEE A TYPO I NEED YOUR HELP!!!


	7. Wake up Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Roman's friendship continues to blossom and Virgil fights to ignore his growing feelings, particularly when Roman comforts Patton during a difficult situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYBODY IT'S YA GIRL BACK WITH AN UPDATE!!! 
> 
> So hey, listen, there's a lot of angst in this chapter.... 
> 
> There is a pretty detailed description of a panic attack at the end so if you are uncomfortable with that please skip from "Virgil felt his heart rate pick up..." to "You know what the solution is don't you,"

Virgil found himself unable to stop smiling as he lay in his bed, with the warm heavy weight of Roman beside him, kissing him slowly, pulling his fingers ever so softly through Virgil’s hair.  The last two and a half weeks had been absolute bliss.  After meeting Roman’s friend, Remy, on that particularly _awkward_ morning he hadn’t seen Roman for a couple of weeks until that night he had made dinner for him.  It had been so unexpected, so surprisingly lovely, Virgil had felt quite overwhelmed at the time, and in the two weeks since he and Roman had managed to meet up almost every other day; sometimes for sex, but more often recently to just sit and talk, or to watch cartoons together.  One night they had gone to see a film together, and they’d had another night out at Virgil’s bar with Logan and Patton.  And Virgil couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so happy, felt such a long-lasting sense of contentment.  The kind that settles deep in your bones and allows warmth and comfort to spread from the inside out.  Patton and Logan had certainly noticed, but had enough tact not to comment.  His employees, however, had not stopped teasing him since he had picked up the habit of frequently smiling at his customers.

Virgil was pulled back to the present when he felt Roman move to press kisses along his jaw and then down his neck, his soft hair tickling against Virgil’s cheek as he moved.  Virgil couldn’t help but notice that Roman looked particularly attractive in the early morning light.  Virgil had invited him to crash at his apartment after both of them had fallen asleep on the sofa while watching Steven Universe.  When they awoke at 1am both feeling confused and sleepy, Virgil had just told Roman to come to bed with him and they had fallen asleep together moments later.  Virgil guessed from the pale light streaming through his windows that it was around 7am now.  Roman had started gently nipping his neck, and Virgil could feel himself getting excited as strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him somehow even closer.  Virgil pushed gently on Roman’s shoulder until he was lying flat on his back, allowing Virgil to swing one of his legs over and straddle him.  Roman beamed up at him as he placed his hands either side of Roman’s head and rolled his hips slightly, feeling Roman’s arousal against his own.  Roman reached up and pulled Virgil down into another kiss, pushing his tongue into Virgil’s mouth and exploring slowly.  Virgil moaned lightly as he rolled his hips again, allowing himself to feel Roman beneath him.  He felt Roman’s warm hands slide underneath his sleep shirt, pushing it up his torso and then breaking their kiss to toss it aside.  Virgil smirked as Roman’s eyes roamed all over his chest, fingertips brushing lightly across his pecs and ribs, trailing down his stomach to the soft trail of hair below his belly-button. 

“Like what you see?” Virgil teased, his voice particularly low and gravelly from lack of use.  Roman glanced up at him, smiling brightly before leaning forward to close his lips around one of Virgil’s nipples.  Virgil gasped a little in surprise and began to shift at the sensation, seeking out more friction as he rolled his hips a little more insistently.  Roman responded, drawing him closer and trailing his hands down his bare back to settle on his ass over the soft material of pyjama bottoms, gripping and encouraging Virgil to keep moving.  Virgil laced his fingers through Roman’s hair, tugging his head back up to reconnect their lips, kissing him intently.  He dragged his hands down Roman’s chest as he licked into his mouth, not stopping until he reached the hem of Roman’s t-shit, and then pulling insistently, breaking their kiss to throw the shirt on the floor.  And now Virgil was exploring Roman’s chest, kissing his neck and allowing his hands to roam over strong muscles and soft, smooth skin. 

“Want you, Virge,” Roman murmured in his ear, gently taking his earlobe into his mouth to suck and nibble. 

“Mmmm, how?” Virgil asked, feeling slightly lost in all the lovely soft sensations he was experiencing.

“Want you to fuck me… please,” Roman’s voice was barely above a whisper and Virgil felt his cock twitch at that. 

“You got it, gorgeous,” Virgil murmured before kissing Roman again, still soft and slow.  “Lie on your stomach for me,” Virgil offered, before sliding off Roman’s legs and the bed, heading to the bedside drawer to grab the lube and a condom.  When he turned back around, Roman was lying on his stomach, completely naked with his head on its side, pillowed on his arms.  He winked at Virgil and Virgil grinned back, tugging his own pyjama bottoms off and leaving them on the floor as he climbed back onto the bed and settled between Roman’s legs, spreading them a little and admiring the view.  He picked up the lube from where he had dropped it on the sheets and poured a liberal amount onto his fingers, warming it between them before moving to gently circle one around Roman’s entrance. 

“Are you ready?” Virgil asked softly, watching as Roman squirmed beneath him.  Roman keened a little and attempted to push back against Virgil’s finger.  Virgil chuckled and began pushing in, delighting in the content little noises Roman was making as he did so.  Virgil moved slowly and gently, allowing Roman to feel all of the sensations as he stretched him first with one finger, then two and then three, pushing and massaging for a little longer than necessary, enjoying watching Roman attempting to remain still but being unable to stop himself from squirming and wiggling.  Virgil began massaging his prostate particularly firmly and Roman gasped, pushing back against the sensation.

“Aaaah – Virgil, I’m ready, please!” Roman moaned as he spoke, his hips shifting as Virgil kept up his relentless attack on his prostate.  “Virgil! Stop, please, I’m gonna come!” Roman added, huffing indignantly as Virgil let out a low chuckle

“Wouldn’t want that, would we?” he quipped.  Roman looked over his shoulder to glare at him and Virgil laughed again as he withdrew his fingers.  Roman whined at the loss of contact and Virgil felt a self-satisfied grin tug at his lips as he rolled the condom on and slicked up his own cock before spreading Roman’s legs a little further and moving into position.  Roman whined again and arched his back a little and _fuck_ he looked good like that. “Shit, Ro, I don’t think this is going to last very long…” Virgil warned as he place his hands on Roman’s hips, lining himself up and pressing the head of his cock against Roman’s entrance.

“Fuck, _good_ , just hurry up and fuck me!” Roman demanded.  Virgil huffed a laugh and then he began pushing in, not stopping until he bottomed out and then pausing for a moment to allow Roman to adjust.  When Roman began shifting his hips impatiently, Virgil pulled out, and then he pushed back in, setting a steady rhythm.  Roman was moaning now, moving his hips back to meet Virgil’s thrusts each time.  Virgil moved one hand from Roman’s hip to slide up his back and grab a fistful of hair and tug a little, causing Roman to moan much higher and move faster, desperately seeking out more friction.  “M-more, Virge, please!” Roman moaned and Virgil increased his pace, tugging harder on his hair and feeling himself begin to climb higher and higher. 

“My god, Ro, you look so good! Touch yourself,” Virgil instructed and Roman keened, before shifting his weight to pump his cock with one hand beneath him as Virgil continued to fuck into him, hard and fast now, still pulling on his hair.  They were now both covered in a thin layer of sweat and the room was filled with lewd noises as Roman moaned and Virgil snapped his hips into him over and over and over again.

“Close!” Roman shouted and Virgil gave his hair one last, firm tug and then he was coming, moaning Virgil’s name and clenching around him and he was so gorgeous and then Virgil was coming too, his hips slowing to a stop as he spilled into him, feeling the pleasure course through his body.  After a moment, he pulled out and flopped onto his back next to Roman, breathing heavily as Roman groaned at the loss of contact.  They lay together for a few minutes, their breathing returning to a normal rate and enjoying the peaceful quiet of the morning. 

“So…. Shower and round two?” Roman offered quietly.  Virgil barked out a laugh and smacked Roman’s arm.

“Just a shower, no round two,” he replied, laughing again at Roman’s mock pouty face. 

“Hey, what are you doing today?” Roman asked, smiling again now.

“Nothing, just hanging at Logan and Pat’s tonight,” he replied, shrugging one shoulder non-committedly. 

“Wanna do something then?” Roman offered tentatively.  Virgil smiled and Roman’s eyes light up.

“Sure, Princey, sounds good,” Roman’s smile turned slightly wicked and Virgil’s eyes widened a little in fear.

“Whoever gets to the bathroom first gets the first shower!” Roman yelled and then suddenly he was on his feet, dashing out of Virgil’s bedroom.  Virgil scrambled to his feet, running after Roman who was cackling loudly to himself.

“Hey! No! It’s my fucking flat, I get to shower first, jackass!” Virgil yelled after him.

“You snooze you lose!” Roman shouted from the bathroom.  With delight Virgil realised that he had forgotten to turn the lock.  He felt a somewhat evil grin spread across his lips as he quietly turned the handle.

“We’ll see about that Princy!” Virgil called as he let himself in, laughing hysterically when Roman tackled him into a bear hug and then pulled them both into the shower, where they continued to mess around, laughing and splashing each other until the water went cold.

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey Pat! I’m on my way to your flat now, is it okay if I bring Roman along too?” Virgil spoke lowly into the phone as he and Roman stepped out of his bar and began walking down the street.  Roman was humming to himself as they went, something light and happy, and Virgil couldn’t help but roll his eyes fondly at the display. 

“No problem, kiddo! Can’t wait to see you soon,” Virgil frowned at the response.  Patton spoke enthusiastically but somehow something felt a little… off. 

“You okay there, Pat?” he asked, attempting to sound light-hearted to mask his suspicion.

“Of course!  Don’t you go worrying about me!” the friendly cheer sounded even more forced that time.  Virgil sighed a little but decided to drop it for the time being.

“Okay, we’ll see you soon then,” he replied quietly.

“Bye!” Patton hung up the phone almost immediately.  Virgil frowned again as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. 

“Everything alright, Panic! At the Everywhere?” Roman asked, nudging Virgil a little with his elbow.  Virgil visibly shook himself out of his concerned thoughts and offered Roman a small smile.

“Yeah, I think so.  Pat just sounded a little off on the phone,” he shrugged as Roman nodded slightly in understanding.  They walked on in silence for a few minutes, Virgil allowing himself to ruminate on what could potentially be bothering Patton, and Roman looking deep in thought.

“Do you think it might be better if I don’t come over tonight?” Virgil heard him ask in a very small voice.  Virgil’s head whipped round to see Roman’s concerned expression.

“I don’t think so Roman.  I’ve known Patton for a while now and, chances are, he’ll either want to talk about whatever’s bugging him, or he’ll want a distraction, and either way I think it will be nice for him if you’re there,” Virgil felt something in his chest warm a little as Roman’s expression relaxed in relief. 

“Okay, if you’re sure,” he added in a low voice, and Virgil smiled at him reassuringly. 

They filled the remainder of the walk with idle chat, and Virgil couldn’t help but admire the way the setting sun seemed to make Roman’s skin glow, how it reflected all the subtle shades of green in his eyes and how it seemed to lighten some of the smaller strands of his gorgeous caramel hair.  He really was incredibly attractive.  And yet, somehow, in the time that Virgil had begun to know him better, he had become so much more beautiful to look at.  Perhaps it was the way his eyes crinkled at the edges when his smile was so bright it could rival the sun, or maybe it was the way his eyes light up when someone brought up one of his interests, or handed him something incredibly sugary to eat.  It might have been the way his nose wrinkled in distaste at things he didn’t like, or it could have been the huge smile that spread over his face when he said something he thought was funny, a smile that was so comically big and happy it never failed to make Roman look like a huge, dorky idiot.  And it never failed to make Virgil’s heart flip a little.  Somehow, in the month he had spent not just sleeping with Roman, but becoming his friend too, Roman’s face had become him.  And Virgil could see all of his happiness, his excitement, his concern, his insecurities written all over it.  And it was so beautiful sometimes Virgil could hardly bare to look. 

Before he really had time to reflect on these rather mushy thoughts, Virgil realised they had arrived at Logan and Patton’s apartment, and Roman was knocking on the door before it swung open to reveal Logan on the other side, and Virgil’s mouth almost fell open in shock.  Logan’s hair was mussed, probably due to Logan himself having run his hands through it several times in frustration, his eyes were dark with rage, his jaw clenched and seemingly all of his muscles were tensed.

“Oh my god, are you okay?!” Virgil asked, eyes wide as he took in the sight of his best friend. Logan merely shook his head curtly and stepped to the side, opening the door wider to let the two of them into the apartment.  They shuffled past him down the hall to find Patton sitting cross-legged on the sofa, hunched over with his face in his hands as he cried softly.  Virgil was by his side in a flash, gently placing his arm around Patton’s delicate shoulders and encouraging him to lean on Virgil’s shoulder, rubbing his hand gently up and down Patton’s arm in comfort.  Patton’s hands fell from his face as he leaned into the touch, a violent sob wracking his tiny, shaking body.  Virgil could hear Logan and Roman talking lowly, but he couldn’t distinguish what they were saying as most of his attention was honed in on Patton, on providing as much physical comfort as he could.  He knew that when Patton was really upset he often went non-verbal and always responded best to physical contact in times of distress.  Patton shuddered in his arms as another sob was ripped from his throat, causing Patton to gasp in distress.

“Hey, Pat, shhh, shh, it’s okay.  I’ve got you, I’m here.  It’s all gonna be okay,” Virgil murmured, pressing gentle kisses to Patton’s soft, sweet-smelling hair.  It took several long minutes of comfort of this kind to allow Patton’s breathing to return to a more normal rate and for his body to stop shaking.  When the tears finally stopped falling his eyes were round and puffy under his glasses, with dark circles underneath.  Exhaustion seemed to overcome him as he leaned all of his weight into Virgil, closing his eyes and snuggling close.  Logan gently placed a blanket over them and sat down on Patton’s other side, rubbing soft circles onto his back while Roman sat on the floor in front of him, offering his hand which Patton took into his own after a moment, and Virgil could see that Roman was rubbing soothing circles against Patton’s palm with his thumb.  They stayed like that for an indeterminate length of time, all silently offering comfort until Patton seemed to be truly calm again, breathing deeply, his heart no longer pounding hard enough for Virgil to feel it against his chest where he held Patton close.

“Thank you,” Patton murmured, his voice weak and broken.  Virgil squeezed his shoulder in response and noticed Logan and Roman offer similar silent gestures of acknowledgement. 

“I understand if you don’t want to talk, Pat, and you absolutely don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but what happened?” Virgil asked softly, feeling anxiety twist in his stomach at asking the question, but he wanted to give Patton the opportunity to talk if he needed it.  Patton sighed deeply and tightened his hold on Virgil a little.

“My mother,” was all he offered, and understanding crashed over Virgil as he held Patton even tighter.  He glanced over at Logan to see the fury still glinting in his eyes.  Well, that explained why he had been so angry when he and Roman had arrived.  Virgil looked down at Roman to see his face still full of concern, but also tinged with a hint of confusion.  Ah, of course.

“Do you mind if I fill Roman in?” Virgil asked quietly, knowing that Patton wouldn’t have allowed Virgil to invite Roman over in the first place if he was uncomfortable with sharing the story.  Patton only nodded before lifting his head and shifting over to cuddle up to Logan, who immediately wrapped his arms around Patton and began kissing his head.  Roman’s hand was still clasping Patton’s, but he looked up at Virgil expectantly as Virgil frowned, trying to figure out where to start.

“Okay, well, first of all, you should probably know that Patton identifies as a demi-boy,” Virgil started, his gaze flicking over to see Patton’s skirt falling around his ankles.

“And sometimes non-binary, but he still prefers he/him pronouns” Logan added quietly, holding Patton a little closer to his chest while Patton nodded. 

“And basically, Patton’s Mom is an evil fucking selfish witch who doesn’t understand how her ‘precious little boy’ has grown up into someone who is _confident_ and _happy_ enough in themselves and their identity to wear cute skirts and dresses and make up sometimes, and to other times present as very masculine.  And every now and then she turns up and makes Patton feel miserable, not by being outright mean, but by making cruel little comments and snide remarks that she can later pass off as just being ‘brutally honest’ or ‘only wanting what’s best for him’. It fucking sucks,” Virgil finished his speech, trying to breathe deeply as he felt his temper rising.  Roman’s face was full of sorrow and compassion now, and Virgil saw him squeeze Patton’s hard firmly.  Virgil turned back to Patton. “What was she even doing here?” he almost snapped, working hard to reign in his anger, “I thought you only had to see her once every three months,” Patton just shook his head minutely and nuzzled deeper into Logan’s neck.

“She just turned up as he was leaving work,” Logan replied for him, his voice curt and clipped, “And she insisted on taking him for dinner where she did her usual manipulating shtick and then after making him feel terrible she dropped him off here and left,” Logan finished.  Virgil’s hands were nearly shaking with rage, and it was taking every ounce of self-control he had to stop them because he knew getting angry would only upset Patton more, and Patton _needed_ him right now. 

“I know how you feel, Patton,” the words were spoken so softly, offered so incredibly delicately that Virgil wasn’t sure he’d heard them at all.  Silently, Logan, Patton and Virgil all looked down at Roman.  His cheeks were tinted red, but his eyes were fierce with determination as he looked up at Patton, still grasping his hand tightly, now in both of his own.  Patton’s eyes were wide with wonder.

“What?” he whispered, voice still rough and broken, but now somehow hopeful at the same time. 

“I… I know how it feels.  To have a parent who’s never outright mean to you, who never did anything terrible like kick you out of the house or tell you that they don’t love you, but to have a parent who’s always hinting that you’re not good enough,” Roman paused for breath, and Patton was leaning closer now, his eyes shining.  “You feel guilty for letting it get to you, because so many people have it so much worse, right?  But then every time you see them, you heart starts pounding in your chest, and you can’t help but worry about what they’re going to say to you, what it’s going to be _this_ time that’s got them so worried.  And if they’re not worried then they’re disappointed, upset that you didn’t turn out to be the perfect baby they wanted, whether it’s because you didn’t go into the line of work they were hoping for, or because you’re not straight like they’d expected you to be or because you ended up having to deal with severe illness or whatever, it’s not fair to _them_ that they didn’t get the kid they wanted, right?

And if it’s not _that_ then they’re confused.  Confused about why you are the way you are, why you turned out this way, and they say that all they want is to understand, but when you try to explain it to them they don’t listen, or they just steamroll over you and it _hurts_ , it hurts so much because you love them, have always loved them with all your heart, because it’s your parent and they looked after you, they bathed you and fed you, they cleaned up your sick and held your hand and let you sleep in their bed when you were too frightened to sleep on your own.  But somehow the person you are now isn’t enough, is never enough, and it just… hurts,” Roman finished his speech and Virgil quickly blinked back the tears that were forming in his eyes.  Logan was staring at Roman in awe, and tears were rolling down Patton’s cheeks again, but his eyes were shining with relief and understanding.  He flung himself off the couch and into Roman’s arms, hugging him tightly as Logan and Virgil watched.

“That’s exactly right, Roman,” Patton whispered, but it was still loud enough for all three to hear. “No one’s ever said _anything_ like that to me before,” he added in a hushed tone, the awe in his voice as plain as day.  Roman smiled sweetly, even though Patton couldn’t see it as his face was buried in Roman’s shoulder.

“Yeah, well, I think your Mom and my Dad possibly have a few things in common,” Roman said bitterly.

“I’m so sorry, Roman,” Patton offered, pulling back to look into Roman’s face.  Roman smiled sadly and Virgil felt something tug hard on his heart strings.

“Don’t be, Patton.  It’s just part of life,” Roman said softly and Patton smiled at him, small and delicate but a smile nonetheless.  Virgil was suddenly feeling incredibly overwhelmed, having just watched Roman comfort one of his dearest friends in his time of need without even batting an eyelid, and sharing his story so openly to make Patton feel less exposed.  Virgil rubbed furiously at his eyes, willing himself not to cry.  Suddenly, he felt a hand clap him firmly on the shoulder.  He looked up to see Logan gazing at him sympathetically.  He offered a small smile before he turned to the other two.

“Who wants a cup of tea?” Logan offered quietly and Virgil was pleased to note that three smiling faces were now looking up at Logan, who smiled at them in return.

 

 

 

Several hours later, Virgil found himself at his front door, facing Roman who had walked him home from Patton and Logan’s flat.  When they had left, Patton had been much brighter, almost back to his usual self and, as consequence, Logan had been far more relaxed too.

“Do you want to come in?” Virgil asked quietly, looking up into Roman’s wonderfully bright eyes. 

“Wish I could, Virge, but I’m working early tomorrow so I better go home,” Roman replied softly.

“Okay, cool, I’ll see you soon, though, right?” Virgil asked and Roman smiled that stupid, goofy smile that Virgil had become so fond of recently.

“Of course, emo nightmare,” mirth glinted in Roman’s eyes at the nickname and Virgil couldn’t help but smile.  Roman offered a small wave and it seemed he was about to turn away when suddenly impulse rushed through Virgil’s veins.  He grabbed Roman’s jacket and pulled him into a searing kiss, immediately swiping his tongue along Roman’s lower lip and wrapping his arms around his neck to pull him closer.  Their tongues glided together for a few moments, Roman’s hands gripping at Virgil’s hips, until Virgil softly and slowly pulled away, pressing one more closed-mouth kiss to Roman’s lips and then taking a step back.  Roman looked a little dazed as he stared down at Virgil.  He visibly shook himself and smiled again.  “What was that for?” he asked lightly, a teasing grin playing about his lips.  Virgil smirked.

“For looking after Patton tonight, thanks, Princey,” he replied and Roman’s eyes softened a little in surprise.  Virgil offered him a two finger salute before turning and unlocking his door. “See you soon, loser!” he called over his shoulder.  He heard Roman huff a laugh as he walked away.

“You better!” he called back, and Virgil grinned again as he shut the door and willed himself not to think about the feeling of sunshine in his heart and butterflies in his tummy.

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Virgil snapped as he kicked the dishwasher, willing it to work.

“What’s wrong, boss?” Virgil heard Gina’s low voice next to him.  He sighed heavily and pulled the dishwasher open and began piling the glasses into the sink.

“This stupid fucking piece of shit is broken _again_ , we’re going to have to wash all of the glasses by hand,” Virgil snapped as he dumped the last of the glasses into the sink, “This is _bullshit_ , it’s Saturday fucking afternoon, this is going to slow you guys down _so much_ tonight!” Virgil pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to breathe deeply.  _In for four, hold for seven, out for eight_ , his brain supplied helpfully.  He sighed again, it was already four o’clock now, and he was due to finish at six, but with the dishwasher down… they would probably need him to stay all night.  He bit down on this thumb as he stared at the dishwasher, already feeling exhaustion settled deep in his bones while simultaneously anxiety twisted in his stomach. 

“Hey! No, absolutely not, don’t even think about it,” Virgil’s eyes snapped up to Gina’s face as she spoke, her tone commanding and her jaw set in determination.

“What?” Virgil asked frowning at her.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she replied, exasperation seeping into her tone, “You’re planning on staying on all night to help us keep up with the orders while the dishwasher is down well guess what, it’s not happening.  You’ve been here since eight this morning and you haven’t had a _single_ break since then so no, absolutely not, you’re going home at six no matter what,” Gina finished, folding her arms and glaring at Virgil.  Virgil shook his head quickly.

“Gina, I’ve only got Max and Peter down for the evening shift tonight, with the dishwasher down that will _not_ be enough people and I can’t just leave them!” he tried to keep his voice calm but the panic was evident, even he could hear it.

“Listen, if anyone is staying on, it’s me because I just got here, and a couple of extra hours won’t do me any harm,” Gina’s tone was firm.  Virgil immediately opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off “And in the mean-time, I’m going to try and fix this damn dishwasher, and you’re going to serve the customers, and if you’re still here so much as a second after six o’clock there will be hell to pay,” her eyes were burning now and Virgil couldn’t help but feel a small smile tug at his lips.

“I thought I was the one running this bar,” he offered quietly, smirking as she allowed herself to grin at him.

“I just let you think that,” she quipped, tossing him a wink before she turned and made her way into the back, probably to get the tool box.

The next two hours passed in a haze of hand-washing piles of glasses, taking orders and trying to remain calm.  Somehow Gina managed to get the dishwasher working again and by the time Max and Peter showed up for their shift Virgil was feeling calm enough to leave the bar, on the condition that they text him immediately if anything went wrong.

“See you later, boss!” Max called as Virgil shrugged his hoodie on, preparing to leave.  He offered a two-finger salute in response then turned around only to come face to face with Roman.  Virgil’s heart leapt in his chest as Roman smiled down at him, charming and bright.

“Oh! Hey, Princey!” he offered, unable to stop himself from grinning.

“Greetings, my chemically imbalanced romance,” Roman replied, his smile turning teasing as his eyes danced with mirth.  Virgil huffed a laugh and glanced down to see that Roman was holding a large wicker basket in one hand.

“What’ya got there?” he asked, nodding towards the basket and Roman’s smile somehow became impossibly brighter.

“I’ve cooked dinner for us!” he announced brightly, “I thought we could take it somewhere nice and have a picnic,” he added, he cheeks flushing a little red with embarrassment, but his expression was still open and happy.  Virgil was almost certain that his whole heart had just completely melted because _oh my god that was the cutest fucking thing anyone had ever said to him in his entire fucking life_.  He shook his head while smiling fondly and, without a second’s hesitation, he slipped his hand into Roman’s and began pulling them towards the door.

“Come on then, loser, I know the perfect place we can go,” Virgil told him as he pushed open the heavy glass door, leaving all of his anxiety and his bad mood behind him as he took Roman to his second favourite place in this city, besides Patton and Logan’s apartment.

The walk from his bar took about thirty five minutes, but it was a pleasant autumn evening with a slight chill in the air and beautiful leaves of golden-brown fluttering to the ground now and then, crunching underfoot as they walked and talked, Roman swinging their joined hands between them and chatting idly about seemingly anything that came to mind.  Virgil huddled his hoodie around him to ward off the cool evening air, but he couldn’t remember ever feeling warmer on the inside as they walked down a sloping hill that brought them out onto the docks.  Virgil felt himself smile at the little gasp Roman let out when he realised that’s where they were heading. 

“Oh my god, Virge, it’s beautiful,” he commented under his breath as they found an unoccupied bench and looked out at the water reflecting the many colours in the sky as the sunset painted it with pink, yellow, gold, blue and red.  Virgil smiled warmly at the little boats dotted here and there, while various species of birds created picturesque silhouettes in the sky.  This was exactly why the docks were his second favourite place, especially at sunset. 

They sat together on the bench and Roman opened the basket to reveal a small feast of cheese, bread, potato salad, various sliced meats and more, and Virgil felt his heart swell as they began to eat and talk, falling into silence now and then to admire the incredible scene before them. When they had eaten their fill, Roman moved the basket to the side and scooted closer to Virgil, wrapping one of his strong arms around Virgil’s slender shoulders and pulling him close.  Virgil leant into the comfort and warmth, feeling happy and full as the sun dipped lower and lower, causing the street-lamps to begin glowing softly.

“Thank you so much, Roman,” he murmured, leaning his head on Roman’s shoulder and looking out over the water. “That was exactly what I needed,” he added, placing a hand on Roman’s knee and squeezing gently before leaving his hand to rest there.

“You’re welcome,” came Roman’s soft reply, and Virgil felt him press a kiss to his hair before leaning his head gently against Virgil’s.  “Hey Virge?” Roman asked, his voice low and calm.  Virgil hummed in response to let him know he was listening, “Can I ask you something?”

“Eh, sure, go ahead, Princey,” Virgil replied, lifting his head and shifting a little to look at Roman. 

“What made you want to run a bar when you studied English Language at college?” he asked, his eyes open and interested.  Virgil shrugged one shoulder.

“Eh, a bunch of stuff, really. I’d worked in a lot of bars, I was even made supervisor in one, so I kind of knew how it worked.  I also really wanted to make a space for LGBTQ+ people to come to that wasn’t like, a club, y’know? And I was also pretty damn sure there was no way in hell I’d be able to get a job relating to my degree anyway so I just thought, fuck it, I’m good at this, might as well do that instead,” Virgil finished, looking up at Roman to see his eyes soft, a small smile gracing his lips.

“You never fail to amaze me, Count Woe-laf,” Virgil snorted at that, nudging Roman playfully with his shoulder.

“Not really amazing, Princey.  I failed to get a job in my field so I just settled for something else.  I’d call that pathetic more than anything else,” he offered, his tone still conversational and light.  He glanced over to see Roman’s eyes suddenly burning with passion.

“You _couldn’t_ be more wrong, Virge,” he almost growled.  Virgil’s eyes widened a little in shock “Don’t you see, instead of getting stuck in some stupid job you hated just because it might be remotely related to the field you studied, simply because you studied it, you went off and found something you were good at, and then you made yourself a life from it! You built your own _business_ Virge, without any training in how to do that.  I think that’s pretty damn impressive,” Roman finished, staring intently into Virgil’s eyes, as if he were willing him to believe it.  And somehow, seeing the open honesty in his eyes, Virgil did believe it, for the first time he looked back and saw those years working in bars not as a failure, but as stepping stones on his road to success.  He couldn’t help the little smile that pulled at his lips as he felt a tentative sense of pride take up residency in his chest.  Roman smiled at him again, then turned to look out over the view once more.  The sky was now turning a dark blue as the sun sank lower and lower into the water, small points of light shining in the sky as the stars slowly became visible. 

“Thanks Roman,” Virgil murmured quietly.  “Okay, now I have a question for you,” he added in a louder tone.  Roman turned to him with an open expression, indicating for him to go on. “If you played football in high school, went to college on a football scholarship and apparently enjoyed it enough to _frame_ your high school football jersey, how come you never play anymore or even talk about it?” Virgil asked.  The smile faded from Roman’s face as his expression turned thoughtful.  He looked out over the water and took a deep breath.

“Because of my Mom,” he said quietly.  Virgil sensed that he had accidentally broached a delicate subject, and opted to wait for Roman to speak again.  The silence stretched on until Roman let out a sigh and ran his free hand through his thick locks.  “Okay, so when I was in high school I really wanted to join the theatre club, acting was always what I had wanted to do, but my Dad was so into football and sports, and I was their only son, my Dad just wanted someone to share that with, and he didn’t really get the whole theatre thing.  So I agreed to try out for the football team so long as I could join the theatre club too.  I hadn’t really expected to get on the team, but it turned out I was actually pretty good at football,” Roman paused and laughed a little bitterly, “My Mom was so proud of me, but she kept telling me she just wanted me to be happy, to do theatre if that’s what I really wanted, and I used to hear her and my Dad arguing about it late at night when they thought I was asleep.  Long story short, I did both, I was good at both and then I got into college on a football scholarship.  My Dad was so happy and then I told him that I was going to major in theatre and, well, he didn’t exactly say anything, but I could tell he was disappointed.  But my Mum was ecstatic, and she got my high school football jersey framed for me and she told me it would always remind me to chase after what I really wanted, because football had helped me to get there,” Roman paused again.  Virgil’s heart was pounding heavily in his chest as he watched Roman frantically blink back the tears forming in his eyes.  “She gave it to me three weeks before she died,” Virgil immediately put his arm around Roman and pulled his close.

“Roman, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.  Roman shrugged a little, his breathing slightly ragged.

“It was an accident, a car crash,” he said quietly and Virgil closed his eyes, pulling Roman even closer. “Honestly, I can’t stand football, and I kind of hate that jersey.  But I’ll never take it down, it was the last thing she gave to me,” Roman finished.  Virgil felt guilt twist in his stomach at the way he had made assumptions before, about how the jersey had even angered him the first time he saw it. 

“Roman I had no idea, I’m so sorry I asked,” Virgil offered, pulling back slightly to look Roman in the eye as he apologised.  Roman’s eyes softened as he looked at Virgil, a small smile pulling at his lips.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, my dear,” Roman replied.  Virgil felt something twist in his stomach at the endearment but then suddenly Roman’s hands were cupping his face so gently, one slipping back into his hair and Roman was looking into his eyes.  “May I kiss you?” he asked, so quietly, so gently.

“Yes,” Virgil breathed, and then Roman was pressing their lips together.  It was so gentle, so soft as Roman pulled back and then pressed closer again, fitting Virgil’s bottom lip between his own, and they were moving together, gently tasting one another and Virgil felt his head spinning as warmth spread out from his chest, melting his heart and chasing his worries away. 

After what felt like an eternity, and no time at all, Roman pulled away, smiling at Virgil bright and warm. “Come home with me,” Virgil breathed before he could stop the words tumbling out.  Roman brushed his fingers over Virgil’s cheek.

“Not tonight, storm cloud, but I’ll see you again soon,” Roman promised and Virgil smiled before leaning in and taking Roman’s lips again, only for a moment. 

Soon after they packed up their things and began walking home, parting ways at the half-way point between their homes, where Roman kissed him again, soft and tender, telling him he would call him tomorrow.  Virgil felt so light as he walked the rest of the way home, felt happiness and contentment stretch through every part of his body and oh it had been so long, so so long since he had felt this way.  He smiled to himself all the way home, was almost humming as he unlocked his door and got ready for bed, grinning uncontrollably as he snuggled into his deep purple bedsheets, checking his phone one last time to see a text from Roman thanking him for the evening and wishing him a good night’s sleep.  He lay back on the pillows and closed his eyes waiting to drift off to sleep and allowing himself to think back over the evening.  It had possibly been the most romantic night of his life, he realised, as he thought of the setting sun, the home-made dinner in a picnic basket, and of the pair opening up to each other in a way they never had before.  And the way Roman had kissed him, as if he’d like nothing more than to keep kissing him indefinitely.  Virgil realised he quite liked that idea, just him and Roman spending time together as much as they had been, going on dates and kissing and… wait.  He had just thought the word date, hadn’t he?

 _Wake up, Virge, that’s exactly what it was_ his inner voice told him sharply.  Virgil felt his heart-rate pick up and his stomach churned uncomfortably.  Frantically, he thought back over the last few weeks.  Oh god, they were dating, had been since that night Roman first made dinner for him.  And he wasn’t ready, oh god no, no no no no _no_ he couldn’t _do_ this again!

 _If he hasn’t realised it yet, he will soon, and then he’ll leave_ the cruel inner voice sounded cold and unfeeling even in Virgil’s own head and he was sweating now, but shaking at the same time and he couldn’t _breathe why was there no air in here?_

 _And even if he does realise it, he’ll leave eventually and you’ll be alone again_ the voice went on.  Virgil clapped his hands over his ears, shaking his head, trying desperately to breathe, to stop that voice but it only grew louder, shouting over the white noise in his head as his heart raced in his chest and he felt bile rise up in his throat.

_You’re messed up, you’re pathetic and weak, you deserve to be alone and however long he stays is just pity, it’s all just pity.  You’re a good fuck and that’s all, that’s why he’s still here._

“SHUT UP!” Virgil yelled aloud before the bile rose up more insistently and oh god he was actually going to be sick.  He scrambled out of bed, dashing to the bathroom just in time to lean over the toilet bowl.

 _Pathetic_. The voice supplied and Virgil was shaking head to foot, cold and clammy, covered in sweat, his head spinning.  He curled up and lay his face on the cold tiles below him, willing the pain and his thoughts to stop.

 _You know what the solution is, don’t you?_ The inner voice was quieter now, but very much still there, still insistent.

 _Yeah I do,_ Virgil thought to himself, fighting to keep breathing, _I’m never going to see Roman again._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> ROAST ME IF YOU SEE A TYPO!!!
> 
> Patton identifies as a demi-boy/non-binary with he/him pronouns in this fic YOU CAN'T STOP ME!
> 
> If anyone is wondering, my pronouns are she/her.


	8. Best Laid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman becomes concerned after not hearing from Virgil for a few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...... about the angst....... at the end of the last chapter.......  
> Does anyone want some more?
> 
> In this chapter get ready for: Roman being a lovestruck sweetheart, Remy making a fabulous return, some platonic Logince bonding aaaaaaaaaand ROMAN ANGST. 
> 
> To quote one of my favourite fics, Powerless, I'd say I'm sorry but I meant to do it.... 
> 
> But also I AM SORRY!!!

Roman smiled brightly as he watched Virgil walk away.  The wicker basket in his hand was much lighter now that they had eaten most of the food.  The sky had now turned from deep blue to inky black, dotted with pin-points of light, and the air around him was considerably cooler causing him to shiver a little as he watched Virgil round the corner, then he turned and started making his way home.  The whole evening had somehow worked out to be far better than Roman could have possibly imagined.  The Plan, so far, was going extremely well.  After the first night Roman had made dinner for Virgil, now almost three weeks ago, they had been on several cute dates of Roman’s devising (though he had worked hard to keep it subtle so as not to cause Virgil any distress) and it seemed that Virgil had thoroughly enjoyed them all. 

As Roman walked back to his apartment he thought back over the evenings they had spent huddled together on Virgil’s couch, laughing and talking or watching TV and making out.  All of those had been particularly lovely occasions.  Then he thought of the day they had woken up together at his house bright and early; they had eaten a quick breakfast, then filled a couple of back-packs with healthy snacks and bottles of water and they had taken a bus out of the city and spent the day hiking up the nearby hills.  His smile brightened as he remembered Virgil shoving him into a bush and then cackling as he ran off down the path ahead only to jump out and scare Roman a few minutes later once he caught up.  It was in moments like those, when Roman could see sheer unadulterated joy shining in Virgil’s eyes that he was sure Virgil was feeling something romantic too.  That and the fact that Virgil had taken to occasionally holding his hand, and kissing or hugging him when they said goodbye rather than just saluting as he usually did, and assuming that they would spend random weekends sleeping at the other’s apartment.  He had also noticed that now whenever they met up Virgil would immediately assume they were going to hang out, or go and do something, rather than just having sex and then parting ways.  And the sex itself had somehow been even better recently.  Virgil was still providing Roman with plenty of opportunities to try new things, they’d given light bondage another shot (and _holy fuck_ that had been good) but it was also far more tender now than it had been before.  They talked to each other more, they were more playful and giggly, taking time just to be with one another, with gentle touches and soft kisses, letting their arousal ebb and flow until they would eventually descend into hot, hard fucking.

Roman could feel his cheeks warming as he thought, but he smiled through it, humming a little tune to himself as he went.  He allowed his thoughts to drift back to the harbour, to once again see the beautiful colours flooding the sky, to feel the warm weight of Virgil leaning into him, the comforting smell of his soft hair as Roman had kissed his head and held him close.  He felt his heart squeeze in his chest at the memory.  When he had turned up at Virgil’s bar with the picnic basket, he had only thought of going to one of the nearby parks but he was so glad Virgil had thought of the docks.  It had been unbelievably romantic and Roman couldn’t help but feel a bright ball of hope settle in his chest at the knowledge that because _Virgil_ had been the one to take them down there it kind of made this date a joint effort between the two of them.  Not only that, but on this occasion they had really, truly opened up to one another.  Roman couldn’t remember the last time he had spoken to someone other than Remy about his parents, especially his Mom.  And for the first time Virgil had talked about his degree and why the bar meant so much to him.  It felt like progress to Roman, like somehow his steady stream of affection was finally getting through to Virgil, allowing him to almost see himself through Roman’s eyes. He smiled as he remembered Virgil’s quiet expression of subdued awe as Roman had told him how impressive running his own bar really was.  And then he remembered Virgil wrapping his arm around him in comfort and listening so attentively as he talked.  He almost felt his heart singing as he thought that maybe, just maybe, somewhere down the line Virgil might actually want to be his boyfriend.  Or even his partner. 

His thoughts continued to revolve around Virgil, rosy with admiration, as he made his way into his apartment building and up to his front door.  He was still humming as he stepped inside and kicked off his shoes, placing the large basket on the floor near the door.

“Welcome home, bitch!” a voice called from his living room.  Roman felt a huge smile split his face almost in two at the sound of Remy’s voice.  He quickly hung up his jacket then ran full speed, betting on Remy being sprawled over the sofa (he was) before diving on top of him and cuddling him close, pressing a big slobbery kiss to Remy’s cheek.  “OH MY GOD ROMAN, GROSS!!! GET THE FUCK OFF ME!” Remy yelled but even as he spoke he wrapped his arms around Roman and pulled him closer.  They laughed a cuddled for a few moments more before Roman pulled himself up and off the sofa (and Remy) and made his way into the kitchen, returning soon afterwards with two mugs of coffee, handing one to his dearest friend and then taking a seat on the opposite end of the sofa. 

“How was your day?” Roman asked, warmth encompassing him from the inside out.  Remy blinked at him a couple of times

“Geeze, gurl, you’re practically _glowing_!” Remy laughed as he spoke “Never mind about me, how was your date?” Roman felt his blush intensify. 

“It was really wonderful,” Roman’s voice was low and slightly awed, even in his own ears, “I took the picnic dinner to his bar like I told you, but then instead of going to the park Virge took us down to the harbour and we watched the sunset together and talked and it was beautiful,” Roman finished, staring wistfully into the distance.

“Wow, that’s disgustingly cute,” Remy commented, his tone deadpan.  Roman huffed a laugh but said nothing, opting to sip his coffee instead.  “I’m surprised you’re even here actually, I’d have thought after a night like that you’d want to fuck or something,” Remy added, his tone casual but he was eyeing Roman nonetheless.

“Hang on, why did you come over here if you thought I wouldn’t be coming back?” he asked, suddenly suspicious.  Remy immediately began looking sheepish and pulled out his phone as he mumbled something.  “Sorry? Didn’t catch that?!” Roman grinned gleefully as he made an exaggerated gesture of holding his hand to his ear.  Remy scowled.

“I didn’t have any ice-cream at home and I knew I left some here,” Remy’s voice was low and rumbling but Roman still managed to hear him and, sure enough, there was a now empty tub of ice-cream sitting on the coffee table that had gone unnoticed when Roman had first entered the room.  He threw his head back and laughed while Remy continued to scowl and tap away on his phone. 

“One day I hope someone will love me as much as you love ice-cream,” Roman giggled as Remy shot him a glare before turning back to his phone.

“Ice-cream and I are in a very committed relationship, doll,” Remy drawled, his blush receding slightly now.  “But you still haven’t answered my question…” he added, smirking a little now as he looked over at Roman again.  Roman smiled brightly.

“It’s not like I didn’t want to go home with him or anything,” Roman paused but Remy just raised his eyebrows, indicating that he was still listening so he went on, “I just want to start planting the idea in his head that I am _not_ only interested in sex, and that we can do romantic things and make out without it always having to lead to sex.  I just… I want him to know that I care,” he finished, feeling his cheeks warm at the admission but Remy was smiling at him now, a kind, rare smile that was entirely without teasing.

“I’m sure he does, Roman,” Remy’s voice was soft now and Roman smiled at him again.

“I’m not doing too much, am I?” Roman asked tentatively, sensing that Remy wouldn’t tease him at this particular moment.

“No, I don’t think so.  You’re doing great,” Remy patted Roman’s shoulder comfortingly before turning back to his phone and tapping again.

“Thanks, Remy,” Roman offered quietly.  He then pulled out his own phone to fire a quick goodnight text to Virgil before stretching a little and then snuggling close to Remy, asking him how his day was for the second time.  They continued talking for another hour or so before they descended into watching various Vine compilations, laughing so hard that both of them were nearly in tears.  By the time 1am rolled around Remy was practically falling asleep on Roman’s shoulder so he pulled them both to their feet, lent Remy some sleep clothes and then they collapsed onto Roman’s bed.  Within minutes Remy was snoring loudly and Roman chuckled to himself as he drifted off to sleep with a huge smile on his face, feeling that lovely ball of hope in his chest as he pictured Virgil falling asleep in his own bed, probably smiling too thinking of the lovely evening they had spent together.

 

 

 

The next morning Roman was startled awake by Remy jerking uncontrollably in his sleep and, as consequence, kicking Roman rather hard in the shin.  Despite the dull thud of pain, Roman still felt himself smiling as he became more conscious, gazing up to see morning sunlight streaming through the window.  He rolled out of bed, leaving Remy to sleep for the time being, and made his way into the bathroom where he sleepily pulled off his clothes and stepped into the shower. He felt every muscle in his being relax as warm water cascaded down his body, steam quickly filling the room.  He began singing to himself as he washed his hair, relaxing into his own touch. 

It didn’t take long for him to start thinking of Virgil, remembering soft touches and quiet moans.  He could feel himself growing hard as he was visited by a very vivid memory of fucking Virgil in this very shower.  Deciding there was no harm in a little self-love, Roman began to stroke himself languidly as he let his mind wander.  Several pleasant images presented themselves but he latched onto the memory of Virgil riding him a few nights ago, facing away from him and providing a truly spectacular view.  Roman quickened his pace as the memory brought him phantom-sensations, half-remembered touches and sounds, the blanks easily filled in by fantasy.  He squeezed hard as he remembered Virgil grabbing his calves for leverage, gripping tight enough to leave small crescent-shaped indents and then suddenly the image was changing, taken over entirely by fantasy as Roman pictured Virgil beneath him, their faces close together as they looked into each other’s eyes and moved together slowly and sensually, and he abruptly realised that in all of the times they had been together, all of the different ways they had had sex, not once had they done it face to face. 

Roman picked up speed again as the image became clearer in his head and suddenly he realised how much he wanted that with Virgil, how much it would mean to him and suddenly he was coming, feeling the familiar waves of pleasure wash over him.  He took a few moments to allow his breathing and heart-rate to return to normal before rinsing off and stepping out of the shower, wrapping himself in a huge fluffy towel.

“Roman!” he heard Remy shout from the other side of the door “Hurry the fuck up, I need to pee!” Roman laughed at that and let Remy in, teasing him before heading back to his room to get dressed. 

 

Two hours later, Roman was sat on his couch, idly watching cartoons while the remnants of his breakfast with Remy littered the coffee table.  Remy had vacated his flat roughly 30 minutes early dramatically complaining about the work meetings he had to attend that afternoon even though Roman knew Remy secretly really loved his job.  He felt restless and excited, unable to focus on the tv but too wound up to get any proper work done.  Last night he had told Virgil he would phone him today, but he knew Virgil had given himself the day off and, since it was only 10 o’clock now, the emo nightmare almost certainly wouldn’t stir for another hour or two.  Roman decided to burn off his excess energy at the gym, hoping to run into Logan there again.  About two weeks ago it had transpired that Roman and Logan were in fact members of the same gym, but of course hadn’t noticed one another before now.  Logan also had a very regular schedule for his gym going, every Wednesday and Sunday morning, whereas Roman went whenever he was free and the mood struck him.  He smiled to himself as he prepared to leave, still feeling giddy with joy from his evening spent with Virgil the day before. 

When Roman entered the gym, heading for his usual treadmill to begin his warm up, he was indeed delighted to see Logan running on a treadmill two down from his usual.  He felt himself grinning broadly as he made his way over, finding it impossible not to admire Logan’s lean, muscular form as he ran in loose grey sweatpants and a tight black tank top.  Roman hopped up onto the neighbouring treadmill and leant against the screen, assuming a somewhat suave pose and waiting for Logan to notice him.  What he didn’t realise, in his joking attempt to fluster Logan, was that he had in fact leant his elbow against the start button.  Just as he got into position and Logan’s eyes flicked over, abruptly widening with recognition, the conveyer-belt below Roman’s feet began to move, causing him to lose his balance and come crashing down, first onto the treadmill itself and then the floor.  He grimaced at the slight pain in his side as he looked up at the ceiling, willing the ground to swallow him whole.  A second later Logan’s face was hovering in front of his, eyes full of concern as he apparently searched Roman’s face for signs of distress.  Roman felt his blush deepen as Logan’s face relaxed upon determining that Roman was in fact unharmed.  Slowly, an amused smirk spread across his lips.

“Need some help?” Logan offered, arching an eyebrow coolly.   Roman grinned sheepishly as he took the hand Logan extended to him.  He was hoisted to his feet, blush still burning on his cheeks, but he couldn’t help but smile as Logan continued his somewhat futile attempt at stifling his laughter.

“Much obliged, Microsoft Nerd,” he quipped and Logan actually snorted at that.  Roman felt his grin spread wider.  “Honestly, we can’t keep meeting like this, what will people think?” he added, leaning slightly closer in the hopes of flustering Logan a little.  It seemed to work as a faint blush dusted high cheek bones and Roman allowed himself a self-satisfied smirk.  In the time he had gotten to know Patton and Logan better he and Logan had found that they had something of a mutual love of platonic flirting with one another, and over the last few weeks (much to Virgil’s disdain) it had turned into something of a game of one-upmanship.

“I do apologise if I distracted you enough just now to be the cause of your downfall,” Logan replied, his eyes glinting with amusement and Roman couldn’t help it, he cracked up laughing while Logan chuckled softly beside him.  “How are you?” Logan asked once Roman had calmed down.  He grinned brightly

“Superb, my friend!  How are you?” Logan smiled back at Roman’s beaming expression.

“I am well thank you.  Am I to assume that since we are once again here at the same time, I can expect another competition offer from you?” Logan’s eyes were gleaming now, a hint of a challenge within them.  Roman grinned wickedly.

“But of course,” his reply was confident and cocky and Logan raised his eyebrows at the tone.

“You’re on,” he smirked and Roman felt adrenaline run through his veins.  This was going to be fun. 

 

Roman enjoyed the cool breeze on his face as he stepped out of the gym complex with Logan at his side.  Their competition had been particularly heated resulting in a great work out.  Roman felt far more relaxed now.  They walked in amicable silence to the end of the road where Roman turned to face Logan, expecting to say goodbye to him here as was the norm.  When he looked, however, Logan was looking at his wrist watch, a thoughtful expression gracing his face.

“Everything okay?” Roman asked, his tone light.  Logan looked up and smiled.

“Indeed.  I was just thinking that I have a couple of hours to spare and, if you would be agreeable, perhaps you would like to join me for a coffee?” Roman’s eyes widened at the offer, another huge smile pulling at his lips.

“Really, Logan?” he asked tentatively.  Logan smiled again and nodded. “I’d love to!” he added, acutely aware that his smile was ridiculously wide.

“I know of a pleasant place near here,”

 

Moments later they were sitting opposite one another at a small table in a cosy and comfortable coffee shop, one with mint tea and one with an extravagant hot-chocolate topped with whipped cream, marshmallows and chocolate flakes.  Roman noticed Logan wrinkle his nose in distaste as he sipped from his delicious, sugary treat.

“Man, you and Virgil have a lot in common,” he commented vaguely.  Logan shrugged and took a sip from his own mug. 

“How was your evening together last night?” Logan asked after a moment.  Roman shot him a confused look before Logan seemed to understand and explain “We were expecting him at our apartment so he texted Patton to let us know that he was in fact going for dinner with you,”

“Ah,” Roman nodded in understanding, grinning sheepishly once again “Sorry for stealing him away!” he added, but Logan merely waved a dismissive hand. “And it was lovely, thanks for asking,” Roman felt his cheeks warm once more at the memory. 

“It seems that your relationship is indeed flourishing,” Logan commented, his expression open.  Roman’s heart leapt at the word _relationship_.

“Hey Logan, can I ask you something?” Roman’s voice was tentative even in his own ears, but Logan nodded encouragingly, his eyes kind.  “Do you think I’m getting anywhere?  Like, do you think he likes me?” Roman wanted to cringe at his middle-school-esque question, but he couldn’t help himself.  Logan was one of Virgil’s best friends, it wasn’t too much of a stretch to think that they two of them might have talked about Virgil’s feelings at some point…

“You know, Roman, I think you are,” Logan spoke softly, glancing out of the window as if expecting Virgil to appear there and overhear them.  “I can’t remember the last time I saw him so happy,” he added in a very quiet voice.  Roman’s heart _sang_ with joy at those words, though something unpleasant squirmed there too at the idea of Virgil having been unhappy before.  He smiled down into his drink, feeling his cheeks warm again at the elation he felt.  When he glanced up, however, it was to see Logan looking at him with a level of distrust in his eyes, his brows pulled down in something like suspicion.  Roman was somewhat taken aback, Logan hadn’t looked at him like that in a long time.

“You okay over there, Specs?” he asked nervously, throwing in the nickname in hopes of lightening the mood.  Logan’s expression didn’t falter. 

“Roman, I want to ask you something important, and I would very much appreciate an honest answer,” his voice was low and his words clipped.  Roman felt his heart thump in his chest.

“Okay?” oh god it sounded like a question.  Logan sighed deeply, placing his mug of tea on the table.

“Where, exactly, do you see this thing with Virgil going?  Are you actually looking for a relationship with him or are you just interested in his body?  Because if it is the latter, I strongly recommend that you back off.  Now,” Logan’s voice had started off a little unsure, but by the time he finished it was a low growl, his eyes flashing with a warning.  Roman could hear his own heartbeat in his ears. 

“Oh god, Logan, he doesn’t think that, does he?!” Roman couldn’t help asking, alarmed at the prospect.  Logan’s expression softened at the question but he didn’t respond so Roman went on “It started like that, but then I got to know him and, god, he’s so wonderful.  He’s incredibly smart and kind and funny and interesting and, oh boy, I could listen to him talk for hours about _anything_ , honestly Logan it’s so much more than that for me now.  I want to be with him, if he’ll let me,” Roman realised he was gushing, but he also realised that this moment was important.  He had realised that Virgil, Logan and Patton came as a package, and he wanted all of it, so befriending Logan now and earning his approval was crucial.  Not only that, but he desperately wanted to be friends with Logan and Patton regardless, they were both kind and funny, albeit in completely different ways, and he was already growing incredibly fond of both of them.  His eyes bore into Logan’s as Logan searched his face, likely looking for any trace of deceit.  His expression melted into a small smile as he seemed to find no trace of lies in what Roman had said.  Roman cautiously smiled back. 

“Good, because I truly think he is developing very strong feelings for you, Roman,” Logan finally spoke and Roman felt something incredibly tender and soft settle in his chest, caressing his heart.  He had dared to hope before that feelings were blossoming for Virgil but to hear it from Logan, his closest friend, that was _really_ something to fuel his hope.  Roman smiled fondly across the table at Logan, who returned the gesture before taking another sip of his mint tea. 

“Listen, don’t say anything to him yet, though, I want to wait until he’s really comfortable to start talking about feelings and labels and all that… more serious stuff, y’know?” Logan had been nodding along as he spoke and he knew already that Logan was on board with The Plan, whether he was aware of it or not.  They continued talking until Logan had to leave, sharing a quick embrace as they said their goodbyes just outside the coffee shop.  As Roman walked home he realised it would probably be safe to call Virgil round about now, as he would almost definitely be awake.  He pulled out his phone, tapping until he was phoning the man in question.  He held the phone to his ear, his heart beating fast with excitement.  But the phone rang out, eventually going to voicemail.  Huh.  It was quite unusual for Virgil to miss a call from Roman.  He hung up, opting to text rather than leave a voice-message.

**To Virgil:**

_Good afternoon, Storm Cloud, thanks again for a wonderful evening last night.  I just ran into Logan at the gym!  Do you want to meet up tonight? Xx_

He slipped his phone back into his pocket and hummed the rest of the way home, idly thinking about lunch and the week ahead, mentally blocking off when his classes were.  On his return home he made lunch and watched some more cartoons for a while before sitting down to do some work. 

Several hours later there was still no reply from Virgil.  Something like worry was niggling at the back of Roman’s head, normally Virgil would have gotten back to him by now.  Roman shook his head to clear it, he was probably just busy.  By the time Roman was crawling into bed, having spent his evening feeling incredibly distracted and restless, there was still no message.  He sighed as he rolled over, trying to get comfortable and fighting the urge to send another text.  He needed to give Virgil space, he mustn’t get too intense again. 

In the morning there was still no message from Virgil.

 

 

 

The next three days passed in a haze of busyness and stress.  Roman was given a lot of extra classes at the last minute, with very little time to plan for them testing his ability to improv and his ability to keep calm under pressure.  He had attempted to contact Virgil twice more and had been met with radio silence.  At first he thought Virgil might have lost his phone but a terrible niggling feeling in his chest told him that wasn’t the case.  Something was wrong and he was becoming desperate to find out.  As he trudged home from work in the pouring rain, fighting it off with an old umbrella, he made a flash decision to pop into Virgil’s bar on the way back.  He stumbled through the large glass door into the warmth and comfort of his favourite bar, the soft golden glow of the lights already making him feel more at ease.  He headed up to the counter, eyes scanning for Virgil but there was no sign of him.  A short stocky woman with curly blond hair and dark brown eyes stood behind the counter, her lips painted black to match her short painted nails.  A memory flashed in Roman’s mind, this was Gina, Virgil spoke of her often.  He pulled out his most charming smile as he approached her, running a hand through his hair as he did so.  She raised her eyebrows at him, clearly unimpressed, and Roman dropped the act immediately.

“You want a drink?” she asked in a monotone.  Roman shook his head, offering what he hoped was a polite smile.

“Actually, I was just wondering if Virgil is here,” he spoke softly and Gina quirked an eyebrow, curiosity flitting over her rounded face. 

“He’s not in today.  Want me to give him a message?” she asked, eyes searching Roman’s face for his reaction.  He sighed a little then smiled again.

“No, thank you so much, but that’s okay,” he couldn’t help the disappointment that seeped into his voice.  She nodded curtly before looking away to scan the bar.  “Thanks for your help anyway,” Roman murmured before leaving the bar, armed once again with his umbrella to face the howling wind and freezing rain. 

Roman muttered grumpily as he pushed his door open, chucking his now broken umbrella on the floor in the entryway, scowling at it for good measure, before he shuffled into the bedroom, peeling off his damp clothes and getting into warm fluffy pyjamas.  It was still too early to go to bed, but exhaustion weighed heavily in his bones along with disappointment and confusion.  He flopped down on his huge bed before rolling onto his back, groaping around on the bedside locker for his phone.  Once he reached it he called Virgil one last time, listening as the ringing stretched on and on until the familiar beep of the voicemail sounded.  Roman closed his eyes, trying desperately to fight off the bitter feeling in his chest.  This time he decided to leave a message.

“Hey Virge, haven’t heard from you in a while, hope you’re okay!  Give me a ring or a text soon, okay?  Bye,” his voice sounded small and pathetic even to himself and he groaned as he dropped his phone on the sheets beside him.  He couldn’t understand why Virgil wasn’t responding to him, had he done something wrong?  Had he somehow offended him without knowing?  Virgil had seemed so happy when he last saw him, and Logan’s words of encouragement the next day had certainly felt genuine at the time.  Anxiety twisted in his stomach as he tried to think of possible reasons for Virgil’s behaviour.  Had he changed his mind?  Decided he didn’t want to see Roman anymore?  But they had promised to be honest with each other, wouldn’t he at least tell him if that were the case?  Had he lost his phone and neglected to tell Roman?  Was he dealing with some sort of family crisis and had just been too busy to let Roman know?  Was this some extremely convoluted way of playing hard to get?  If that were the case, Roman didn’t care for it at all.  He sighed and rolled over again, willing his brain to turn off and allow him to sleep, but somehow resigning himself to another restless night.  He would stop by Virgil’s bar again tomorrow, just in case he was there.  He sighed as the shining ball of hope that had been growing in his chest seemed to dim a little more.  He would try again tomorrow, all he could do until then was keep on hoping and try desperately to get some rest.  Somehow, he didn’t like his odds for either of those things.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading, leaving kudos and commenting I LOVE YOU ALL OKAY YOU ALL HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART!!!! 
> 
> Please forgive me for the angst. 
> 
> AND ROAST ME IF YOU SEE A TYPO!!


	9. A Feeling of Emptiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil suffers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *emerges from the bushes, covered in dirt, cuts and bruises* *hobbles over to sit opposite you* *slides this across the table* Em, sorry it took so long, I had some...... problems with this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway warnings for this chapter:  
> Basically this is a very long description of a depressive episode.  
> Under-eating/starving oneself  
> Lack of sleep  
> Vomit mention  
> Lack of washing/general caring for oneself  
> Please let me know if there's anything else.

Virgil’s eyelids felt heavy, almost weighted as consciousness tugged at his brain.  His body was aching, all of his limbs heavy and exhausted, his neck was stiff and there was a dull, uncomfortable pain in his back.  He finally managed to pull his eyes open to find himself still on his bathroom floor, shivering slightly on the cold tiles, the harsh light burning.   He felt nausea churn in his stomach as he remembered the events of the night before, his wonderful evening with Roman and then the horrible realisation. _Roman_.  Even thinking his name made him shudder.  How could he have let this happen?  How could he have been so foolish, so blind?  Feeling sick to his stomach and weak with exhaustion he slowly moved his arms beneath him, ignoring the pain in his muscles, and pushed himself into a sitting position.  That action alone caused sweat to bead on his brow, his heart working overtime in his chest.  He sighed before slowly getting to his feet on shaky legs.  Gradually he made his way back to his room and collapsed on his bed.  It was still dark outside, but he had no idea how long he had been in the bathroom, no sense of whether he had fallen asleep or actually passed out once he was done vomiting.  He curled up into a tight ball, willing the pain to ease at least a little but there was no relief.  He didn’t realise he was crying until the pillow beneath his head became slightly damp.  His breath caught as a sob wracked his chest, causing him to feel a burning hole where yesterday there had only been warmth and light. 

Virgil lay in his bed, crying and shaking until long after the world outside was bathed in the warm light of morning, the bright glow of the sun usually warm and comforting turned cold and unfeeling by Virgil’s unpleasant thoughts.  By the time the tears ceased his eyes were burning with pain, discomfort settled in every inch of his body and oh god he was so tired.  He wanted nothing more than to sleep.  He lay completely still waiting for unconsciousness to pull him under but he was met with no such luck.  His anxious brain continued to ruminate, taking tender moments from the last few weeks and turning them sour with unpleasant predictions about Roman’s true motives, and his own feelings. 

After what felt like an eternity he finally drifted off to sleep, though when he woke several hours later he felt no more rested than he had before.  Groaning, he pushed himself into a sitting position and grabbed his phone to check the time.  Not only was it now almost 4pm but he also had a missed call and text from Roman.  He felt the familiar acidic bile in his throat as he read the text, quickly deleting it and dropping his phone on the bed, taking a minute to try and use his breathing exercise to calm down.  When he finally felt he could move without throwing up he slowly got off the bed and trudged to the bathroom in hopes of a long hot shower.  He ended up staying in there for much longer than intended, not even washing but just letting the water cascade over his body, scalding hot and burning the pain away.  Only when he felt suitably numb did he step out of the shower and return to his room to throw on fresh clothes and grab his phone.  He then shuffled to his couch where he collapsed in front of the tv, flicking on Netflix and choosing a show at random. 

At 6:30pm he was still there.

At 8:45pm he noticed his stomach growling, but was in no mood to move, so he continued to ignore it.

At 10:24pm his phone started ringing.  He ignored it.

At 10:25pm it rang again.  He glanced at the screen this time to see that it was Max, one of his bartenders.  He frowned, suddenly worrying about the bar and his workers.  He answered quickly, pressing the phone to his ear.

“Max?” he asked, his voice croaked from lack of use and his throat burned.

“Woah, Virge, are you alright?” Max’s light pleasant voice was tinged with concern.  Virgil sighed.

“Yeah, just not feeling great, why, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” he asked hurriedly, desperately wanting to slow down his racing heart.

“Yeah everything’s fine here, we’re just closing up now, it’s just that… well, you didn’t come in today and we were a bit worried.  Even when you’re sick you usually pop in just to check that we haven’t, like, wrecked your business or whatever…” Max trailed off and Virgil felt his shoulders relax slightly. 

“Oh right.  Sorry I should’ve text, I’m really under the weather.  Listen, Max, am I down for a shift tomorrow?” Virgil asked, rolling onto his back to look up at the ceiling in his dark apartment, the flickering light of the tv the only source of illumination. There was some rustling over the line as Max searched for the rota.

“Eh, yeah, you’re down for 10 to 6,” he replied. 

“Cool, listen, take me off it and find someone to cover will you?  I’ll pay them a little extra ‘cause it’s last minute okay?” Virgil’s voice was still raspy and tired, he sounded like death warmed over even to himself.

“Eh sure, no problem, boss. I’ll text you and let you know who I get to cover,” Max replied and Virgil nodded mostly to himself.

“Thanks Max, see ya,”

“Hope you feel better soon!” Max sounded almost like his cheery self as he hung up the phone and Virgil hoped his actions weren’t too out of the ordinary, he didn’t want his staff to start worrying about him, having Patton and Logan worry was already enough to make him feel guilty.  Slowly he rolled back onto his side and stared blankly at the tv, Friends was still playing.  He hadn’t even really noticed that was the show he’d picked.  He went back to watching, hardly moving, hardly allowing himself to think. 

At 3:50am he was still there.

 

 

 

Virgil hardly moved from the couch the following day.  Twice he dragged himself to the bathroom to relieve himself.  Once he shuffled to the kitchen to eat a dry piece of toast.  Otherwise he remained resolutely on the couch, staring blankly at whatever was on the tv and checking his phone only to make sure everything was okay at the bar.  By the time midnight rolled around again he was sure his eyes must be bloodshot with heavy bags underneath.  He had received another text from Roman which he had deleted without even reading.  He had also received a couple of texts from Logan asking if he was alright.  He tried to come off as normal as possible in his reply, but he wasn’t ready to face Logan or Patton yet.  Both of them had been growing to like Roman and he wanted to put off telling them that they would no longer be hanging out with him (at least not while Virgil was also around) for as long as possible.  Despite the late hour he still did not go to bed to sleep, instead he stayed there on the couch, allowing the numbness to penetrate every inch of his body and soul, leaving no desire for anything in its wake. 

Virgil was not due in the bar the following day either so for another 24 hours there he lay, watching the light change outside the window from night to day to night again, only getting up and moving when completely necessary, eating nothing but a few handfuls of granola from an already opened packet.  Another text from Roman arrived, was ignored and deleted.  He got several more texts from Patton and Logan, and even one from Gina, all of which he replied to, insisting that none of them come over to look after him and that he would be fine soon and back at work tomorrow, though he did change his shift from 8 hours to 3 instead, feeling grateful once again that he had enough staff to cover for him. 

By the time 1am on Wednesday morning rolled around he finally turned off the tv and went to bed, allowing himself to sleep properly for the first time since Friday night.  When he woke in the morning his stomach was practically aching with hunger but he still couldn’t face eating a proper meal, so he forced down an apple to placate his growling stomach and drank a mug of coffee in hopes of providing his body with enough energy to at least get through his shift.  The coffee left a terribly bitter taste in his mouth and he realised he hadn’t brushed his teeth or showered since Sunday, and so he forced himself to go through the motions, washing himself methodically and keeping his mind as blank as possible. 

A few hours later he found himself pushing open the heavy glass door to his bar, shaking the rain from his hair and feeling something almost like comfort for the first time in days as this familiar place, the place he loved, was surrounding him once again.  He was pleased to note that in his absence nothing had been broken or damaged, in fact it was more or less exactly as he had left it, possibly even slightly cleaner than usual.  Gina and Max stood behind the bar chatting idly as, though there were some customers, none of them needed serving, and it seemed like any necessary cleaning jobs had already been taken care of.  Virgil made his way over to the pair, almost smirking to himself when he noticed their conversation seemed to be a little on the flirtatious side. 

“S’up,” Virgil offered when he got close enough.  Both turned to look at him and, almost in sync, both did a double take.  Gina’s mouth fell open as Max’s eyes almost dropped out his head with how wide they were. “What?” Virgil asked, self-consciousness suddenly squirming in his chest.

“You look like hell,” Gina stated in a bored voice, having quickly recovered from her initial shock and resuming her usual deadpan expression, though Virgil could still see the flicker of concern in her eyes.

“I just got back,” Virgil replied.  Max was now blinking at him in alarm while Gina arched an eyebrow.

“Sounds like a bad time,” she sounded cautious as she spoke, as if she were trying to give Virgil an opportunity to talk if he wanted it.  Once again Virgil felt grateful for having met and employed her. 

“I’ve had better,” was all he said.  Gina opened her mouth to speak again but Virgil cut her off by turning to Max “Well buddy, I’m here now so you’re free to go!” Max was clearly still trying desperately to mask his concern, but was failing spectacularly as he pasted a somewhat panicked smiled over his face, his eyes shining with worry.

“Eh, sure! But, um, I’m happy to stay on a bit if you guys want some extra help?” he asked, glancing at Gina who nodded encouragingly but Virgil shook his head.

“No, c’mon you’ve been working too much lately, just go home,” he instructed.  Max looked torn again before he sighed and finally grabbed his stuff, heading out the door with a far less cheery goodbye than usual.  Virgil and Gina stood side by side behind the bar, watching the door through which Max had just exited.  It was quiet for all of twenty seconds.

“Virgil, spill. What the hell is going on?” Gina turned on him, her hands on her hips, her back straight as if she was trying her best to be intimidating despite being over a head shorter than Virgil.  Virgil blinked at her in surprise before he sighed heavily.

“Nothing, I’ve just been sick,” he replied, turning away to scan the bar and see if anyone needed a drink.  Suddenly he felt his stomach sink and his heart race as he saw who was walking up to the bar door, fighting his umbrella on the way.  Oh god, he hadn’t seen Virgil yet, it wasn’t too late.  He grabbed Gina’s shoulders and stared fiercely into her surprised eyes, “Gina, the guy who’s coming in now is going to ask for me, _please tell him I’m not here_!” he begged, glancing quickly over to see Roman still fighting with his umbrella outside the door.  Gina blinked up at him in surprise before nodding once curtly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Virgil whispered frantically before dashing through the back, making sure he couldn’t be seen by anyone in the bar. 

He listened as Roman asked Gina if he was here, heard her tell him no and then came Roman’s disappointed reply.  A moment later he was thanking her.  Virgil dared to peak round the corner to see him pushing through the big glass door and forcing his umbrella open once more before he was disappearing into the wind and rain.  Virgil made his way back over to the bar where Gina was waiting, her eyebrows raised expectantly.   He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, aware that he was not going to be able to dodge her questions this time. 

“So?” she asked when Virgil still hadn’t said anything.  He sighed again.

“Okay so, you remember a while ago I was just fooling around with that guy?  Well lately it got kind of out of hand, so I decided to end it.  That’s all that happened,” Gina looked thoroughly unimpressed.

“That’s it?  That’s why you didn’t show up here for _three days_ even though in all the time I’ve known you you’ve been in here every single day without fail?” her voice was dripping with disbelief and Virgil groaned in frustration.  He really didn’t want to get into this now.

“Look, there’s a bit more to it than that, but I don’t want to talk about it right now.  I just want to do this shift and go back home, okay?” he finished.  Gina’s eyes softened at the admission and she nodded, turning to grab a cloth before she headed out to wipe down the tables.  Virgil pinched the bridge of his nose and willed himself the energy to get through the next three hours with as little pain as possible. 

 

 

Virgil dragged his feet through his front door when he arrived home after his shift.  It had only been three hours and yet somehow it felt like an eternity, and every moment of social interaction and activity had felt like a huge strain.  He was exhausted.  Slowly he made his way to his bed, not bothering to do more than kick off his shoes before he collapsed on the sheets, allowing sleep to engulf him. 

He only slept for two hours before he found himself awake again, his stomach grumbling insistently and his head thumping.  He ignored both in favour of rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling, watching as it turned from dark to light and then his alarm was buzzing and it was time to get up to go to work again.  Once again he kept his mind as blank as possible while he went through the motions of getting ready, deciding he didn’t need to shower and neglecting to eat breakfast again.  At the bar he spoke to as few people as possible, opting to do the more independent tasks such as cleaning and catching up on all of the admin he had missed at the start of the week.  It was dull.  It was monotonous.  It was exactly what he needed.  He had just finished cleaning every single glass in the bar that was not currently being used when he heard it.

“Hey Storm Cloud,” Virgil froze.  The voice that had spoken had sounded sad, a little downtrodden and perhaps even hurt, but it was definitely Roman.  Who else on this planet would ever come up with a nickname like _Storm Cloud_ anyway? Slowly Virgil turned around.  Their eyes met and his chest exploded with emotion.  Butterflies from looking at his beautiful face again, guilt for how he was acting, panic at what to do next and so much more.  Roman looked tired, with soft bags under his eyes, which were currently swimming with concern and confusion.  And yet he was so gorgeous still.  His face was an open book, his emotions plain for Virgil to see as they had always been and suddenly he was struck with a kind of pain he hadn’t felt in a long time, a deep and earnest longing for the man in front of him.  He remembered kind words and soft touches.  He remembered quiet mornings full of teasing and gentle voices.  He remembered loud evenings, jostling one another on the couch fighting for the remote or shouting about video games.  He remembered lazy afternoon walks, movie nights with salted popcorn and sweet smiles, long dark eyelashes blinking over green eyes made soft by the sunset, the smell of home cooking and Roman twirling in his apron.  He remembered comforting friends and stupid jokes and night-time cuddles and shared breakfasts and he wanted it all so badly, so, _so_ badly. 

 _It can’t happen_ he reminded himself firmly.  _It will never work out and he’ll leave.  Because you’re worthless and pathetic._  Virgil blinked as he continued to stare dumbfounded into Roman’s eyes.  Suddenly Virgil realised that Roman was about to speak again and immediately his instincts kicked in and he ran.  He bolted straight for the staff only door that led to the small kitchen in the back, slamming the door behind him and pressing his back against it, breathing heavily as he tried to gather his thoughts. 

“Virgil! Wait!” he heard Roman call behind him but it was too late, he was already through the door.  He leaned against the smooth wood, panting heavily and straining to listen, trying to figure out what was going on. 

“Sir? Sir, what are you doing, you can’t go back there!” Virgil heard Max’s voice, higher than usual and Virgil felt more guilt swirl in his stomach as he noted that Max sounded panicked. 

“But have you SEEN him?!” Roman almost shouted back, his voice thick with passion “He looks ill, I _need_ to see him!” Virgil willed his hands to stop shaking as he pushed himself more firmly against the door. 

“I’m sorry, sir, but you absolutely can’t go back there,” Max reiterated, his voice firmer this time.  Virgil’s head was spinning, he felt dizzy and sick.  Frantically he reminded himself to breathe, sucking in air like his life depended on it. 

“Then I’ll wait here till he comes out!” Roman’s voice was still loud and strong, but he wasn’t shouting.  It was clear he was attempting not to sound too threatening.  _He doesn’t exactly sound non-threatening though…_ Virgil thought, his heart still pounding in his chest. 

“Sir! It’s pretty clear he doesn’t want to see you.  I think you should leave the premises immediately.  We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone,” Virgil had never heard Max sound so angry before and guilt churned unpleasantly in his stomach once more.  It was deadly quiet on the other side of the door now, no doubt every customer was listening in.  Virgil strained his ears when he heard a low rumble, trying to pick out the words but it was impossible.  Slowly the quiet hum of bar chatter seemed to pick again and finally Virgil relaxed, slumping against the door and sliding down until he hit the floor.  His legs were aching.  After a moment there was a soft knock on the door.  Virgil sighed and shuffled out of the way allowing Max to push the door open and come in to sit beside him.

“Are you okay?” Max asked, his voice barely above a whisper.  Virgil nodded weakly, rubbing furiously at his wet eyes.  “You don’t seem okay,” Max added softly, placing a comforting hand on Virgil’s shoulder. 

“This is the way it has to be, Max.  There’s no getting around it,” he croaked out, his stomach twisting unpleasantly as he realised the truth of his words.  Max’s eyes were full of sympathy. 

“Come on, Virge, I’ll call Logan and Patton and they can take you home,” he said quietly.  Virgil felt his eyes fill with fresh tears as he nodded, sniffling a little.  _Pathetic_ the unkind voice in his head reminded him.  He barely registered that Max had left until he came back with a glass of water which Virgil took gratefully.  “Logan is still at the university in planning meetings but Patton is on his way and you guys are going to get a cab back to his, okay?” Max told him gently rubbing soothing circles into his back and Virgil cried harder at the realisation that his employee was looking after him in the back of his bar while he had a breakdown and all of his customers had seen and knew and he felt _so humiliated_. 

He had managed to stop crying by the time Patton arrived.  And Patton’s eyes were so sad, so full of kindness and understanding as he wrapped his tiny frame around Virgil, holding him close.  He said nothing as they left the bar, only offered silent understanding and endless patience for the entire car journey home, his hand never leaving Virgil’s arm or shoulder or waist right up until they were in Logan and Patton’s apartment.  Only when he had gently eased Virgil onto the couch did he speak offering Virgil tea and dinner, the latter he refused until Patton was essentially force feeding him insisting that he looked even skinner that usual somehow. 

“Have you eaten at all this last week Virge?” Patton asked quietly as he watched Virgil force down another mouthful of noodle soup. 

“A little,” he replied, voice raspy and tired.  Patton continued to rub his back and chat to him idly about nonsense, not once asking what had happened and Virgil felt so full of gratitude.  Somehow Patton always knew exactly what to do to look after him, knew exactly when to push him to talk and when to wait for him to be ready.  They sat together quietly until Logan came home.  Silently he looked at them, his face blank, before he sat down on Virgil’s other side and took his hand, squeezing gently.

“Stay here as long as you need, Virge,” Logan murmured and he couldn’t help it, he was crying again, love and sorrow and heartache warring in his chest all demanding to be felt after almost a week of emptiness.  Patton cried with him and Logan made more tea and offered more silent comfort.  The three of them held one another, clinging tightly in a silent promise of love and support and care.

It wasn’t until the early hours of the morning, when the tears had finally passed, that they all drifted to sleep, cuddled together on the couch.  In his state of semi-consciousness Virgil savoured this moment because in the morning he would have to tell them what had happened, and it would hurt them, and all that would do is remind him of how much he didn’t deserve the love and affection they were giving him now, but he also knew that they wouldn’t leave him, and that they would forgive him, even if they shouldn’t. And that, for now at least, was enough to get him through the night and allow him to sleep peacefully for the first time in five days.  He knew what would happen in the morning.  They would tell him that he was overreacting and that he should just call Roman and give him a chance.  Or they would tell him that he wasn’t thinking straight and that if he wants to be with Roman he should just stop worrying.  And how he wished he could believe them.  But he knew deep down that it really was better this way.  He was saving himself more pain in the long run, and next time he would be more careful, if there ever would be a next time.  As unconsciousness overtook him almost completely he was left with one thought the he would use to remind himself why he was doing this in the first place when Logan and Patton questioned him in the morning.

_I’m better off alone anyway.  And Roman’s better off without me.  And that’s all there is to it._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY FAM(ILY) DID YOU MISS ME?!  
> My move to Hong Kong is going super well, I love it here and I love my job but oh man it is exhausting and my writing time has been super limited.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who reads, leaves kudos, writes a comment, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! 
> 
> ROAST ME IF YOU SEE A TYPO YOU COWARDS!!! (Seriously, if I reread this and find a typo that no one told me about I will be FORCED to..... sigh dramatically and then change it)


	10. On the Verge (lol) of Giving Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman struggles with what to do about his situation with Virgil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello friends this is it we're on the home stretch only two chapters left after this!! 
> 
> But before that, have some more angst.

“Roman I know you’re upset but come on, this is ridiculous!” Roman sighed as he leant against his bathroom door.  Remy was still knocking on the other side, his voice concerned and perhaps slightly annoyed.

“I’m not camera ready!” Roman moaned, glancing in the mirror to see the huge, ugly purple bags under his puffy, bloodshot eyes, his hair mused and unkempt.  There came a frustrated groan from the other side of the door.

“Oh for god’s sake Roman! Stop being such a little bitch and get your butt out here and talk to me! I don’t give a shit what you look like!” Remy definitely sounded irritated now and Roman knew he didn’t have much longer before he would attempt to kick the door down.  They had been at this for almost ten minutes now after Remy had let himself into Roman’s apartment and Roman had bolted straight for the bathroom to lock himself in, desperately trying to rub the tears from his eyes while Remy knocked relentlessly on the door demanding that Roman come out and tell him what’s wrong. 

“I’m not coming out unless you give me your phone so I know you won’t take a picture!” Roman yelled through the door.  He heard a gasp from the other side.

“Roman Prince I am your best and dearest friend in all the world! I am hurt, _hurt_ that you would think that I would do something like that, when have I _ever-_ ”

“Prom, senior year, you took a photo of me after that dog chased me and I fell in a bush and you showed it to _everyone,_ bitch!” Roman yelled over Remy’s dramatic speech.  There was a beat of silence.

“Well, yeah, but that was funny as fuck…” Remy was much quieter now and despite himself Roman couldn’t help but smile at the memory. 

“Give me the phone or I’m not coming out,” Roman said resolutely.

“Uuuuuuuugh you are _such_ a DRAMA QUEEN!” Remy groaned and a second later his phone was slid beneath the sizable gap at the bottom of the door.  Roman grinned triumphantly as he grabbed it and shoved it in his pocket.

“Coming from you?” he replied as he unlocked and opened the door, waiting for the witty come back.  But none came as Remy stared at him, mouth agape, his sunglasses balanced on the end of his nose.

“Holy shit, what the fuck happened to you?!” Roman grimaced.

“This is exactly why I took the phone,” he muttered as he pushed passed Remy and made his way to the living room, flopping on the couch and then curling up into the tightest ball he could manage.  Remy was right behind him, sitting close and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Is this something to do with Virgil? Want me to go beat the shit out of him?” Remy offered quietly, a slightly teasing smile on his face but his eyes were full of concern.  Roman sighed and uncurled slightly. 

“I stopped by his bar this evening to try and talk to him,” he mumbled.  Remy raised his eyebrows.

“And?”

“ _And_ he ran through the back and refused to talk to me or come out until I left,” he finished, the words stinging even as he said them, a nasty pain curling in his chest as he remembered Virgil’s employee yelling at him to leave, telling him that Virgil didn’t want to see him.  Roman glanced over to see that Remy had taken off his sunglasses and was now looking thoughtful. 

“…Okay, is this like last time when you pissed him off by saying something stupid?” Remy asked cautiously, evidentially worried about hurting Roman’s feelings.  He almost smiled at the consideration his friend was subtly showing.

“No, I’m sure it’s not,” he replied, sighing a little.  How could everything have gone so bad so quickly?

“Right, start from the beginning.  What happened?” Remy asked, shifting to fold his legs underneath him and watching Roman intently.  He took a steadying breath. 

“Okay, so everything was going really, really well.  We were finally getting to know each other, _really_ getting to know each other and then after that really amazing date at the harbour on Saturday he just…cut me off,” Roman felt his eyes sting with tears again as he spoke, the reality hitting him hard as he said it out loud.  Remy was holding his hand tightly now.  “And so I went to his bar a couple of times, he wasn’t there yesterday, so I went back today and – and -” Roman stopped as his voice broke and he started to cry again, his breath shaking and his nose running.  Remy was gently shushing him now, pulling Roman into his arms and rubbing his back softly in a circular motion.  They stayed like that for some time, Roman couldn’t tell how long, until eventually his tears subsided again and his breathing returned to normal. 

“You doing okay?” Remy asked quietly.  Roman nodded then wrapped his arms tightly around Remy’s waist, burying his head in his leather jacket.  It smelled like comfort and friendship and Remy. 

“Why is this happening?” Roman mumbled sadly “Why is he doing this? _What did I do wrong?”_ he knew he sounded desperate but his heart was hurting and he was just so confused. 

“Hey, hey, hey now!” Remy said soothingly, stroking Roman’s hair softly “You didn’t do _anything_ wrong, Roman, not this time.  You were being super respectful and kind and thoughtful and you gave him plenty of space.  Whatever’s going on, this time it’s something on _his_ end,” he finished, pressing a gentle kiss to Roman’s forehead. 

“It’s just…” Roman trailed off trying to find the right words to convey what he was feeling “What if Declan was right,” Remy’s hand in his hair stilled.

“Right about what?” he asked through gritted teeth, the discomfort practically rolling off him.  He always had a similar reaction whenever Roman brought up his ex…

“Well, before he left, he said no one else would ever, y’know, want to be with me because I’m too intense and they would always get sick of it and leave, what if that’s what’s happened?” Roman asked, his voice incredibly small.  Remy pulled away from him slightly and then Roman felt gentle fingers under his chin as Remy lifted his head, encouraging him to look Remy in the eye.  His expression was earnest and entirely serious. 

“Roman.  That guy was, without a doubt, the _most_ selfish, lying, manipulating piece of shit I have _ever_ had the misfortune of meeting.  He knew he wasn’t good enough for you, Ro!  That’s why he told you all those horrible lies, to try and stop you from leaving him.  He _deceived_ you, Roman, you are not too intense, you’re the most wonderful person I know,” Remy finished, his eyes burning with passion and Roman felt some of the awful unpleasant tightness in his chest dislodge, easing the pain a little.  He smiled weakly and hugged his best friend tightly, trying to convey everything he couldn’t put into words through his embrace.  After a long moment Roman finally pulled back and smiled at Remy again, a little stronger than before, and Remy beamed back. 

“I don’t know why Virgil is acting the way he is Roman, but I’m almost one hundred percent sure that it’s because of his own issues and not because of you,” Roman nodded a little at Remy’s words.  It was incredibly difficult to believe him but somehow what Remy was saying did ring true.

“He looked so awful, Remy,” Roman said quietly.  Remy’s brows drew together in confusion “At the bar.  He looked so _ill_ he was all pale and even skinnier and he looked totally exhausted,” he explained.  “I’m worried about him,” Roman added so softly he wasn’t entirely sure he had even said it.

“It sounds like he’s taking this just as badly, if not worse than you are,” Remy murmured.  Roman nodded a little.  “How did you think he was feeling about you?  When you saw him on Saturday night how did it feel?” he asked.  Roman took a shuddering breath, thinking back to that night, the setting sun painting the sky, Virgil opening up to him and listening to his own story, their soft and tender kiss, Virgil’s hand in his, his cheeks turning rosy from laughter and teasing, long dark lashes blinking over deep brown eyes.  Virgil had practically been glowing that night. 

“It felt mutual,” Roman whispered.  “I was so, so sure he was feeling something too,” he felt a sharp twinge in his chest at that, because he had been so sure and now everything was so bad and messed up and _confusing_.

“Do you think it all got a bit too much for him and he freaked?” Remy asked, almost whispering too.  Roman frowned.

“But we _promised_ each other we would be honest about what we wanted, and tell each other as soon as we felt uncomfortable or wanted it to stop, but he hasn’t told me anything!” Roman realised he sounded whiney now but he also found it difficult to care. 

“People don’t always keep the promises they make, Ro,” Remy told him sadly.  Roman sighed.  He knew that.  Of course he knew that.  As much as he embraced his child-like nature he wasn’t actually a kid or an idiot.

“I know it’s just… I thought he would…” something squeezed uncomfortably in Roman’s chest when he said that and he realised how much he had believed it when Virgil had made that promise.  “What should I do?” he asked quietly, too afraid of the answer to risk looking at Remy.  He felt warm arms around his waist as Remy hugged him again.

“I don’t think you should give up just yet,” he said quietly “Maybe go and try to talk to him one more time.  You never know, maybe those friends of his will knock some sense into him,” Remy squeezed a little as he spoke and Roman felt that familiar sense of hope burn faintly in his chest once more. 

 

 

 

“Welcome to West Street Cobblers, how may I help you today?”

“I’d like a strawberry ice cream please,”

“…. A strawberry ice cream?”

“Yes,”

“From a _cobblers_?”

“Yes,”

“But…. We don’t sell-”

“Okay stop there for a second guys!” Roman’s voice rang out over the group of teenagers in the small classroom.  He shifted a little and bumped into the desk beside him.  Even though they had pushed all the tables and chairs to the sides of the room, it was still pretty cramped making it difficult for them to work though scenes.  Roman glanced up to see the twelve teens looking at him expectantly.

“Can anyone tell me why I stopped you guys there?” he asked.  A small girl at the back of the group tentatively raised her hand.  “Yes, Rebecca?”

“Yes and,” she offered quietly.  Roman smiled encouragingly.

“Exactly, _yes and_. Guys, when we’re doing improv we never say no! You always go with what the other person is saying! So if you say you’re in a cobblers and they ask for an ice cream, you can bet that this is now a cobblers that also sells strawberry ice cream.  Okay, go again guys,” Roman observed quietly as the group worked through their improv scene, the scenarios becoming more and more ridiculous as they tried to one up each other with the rule of Yes And.  He smiled fondly as over the hour they began to really throw themselves into it and he felt that lovely warm sense of pride that he got whenever he managed to provide people with an hour of being silly and having fun and working on their acting skills.  He was once again struck by how grateful he often felt that this was actually his job and he got paid to do this.

 By the end of the workshop everyone was laughing and smiling, waving him cheery goodbyes and asking if he would be back in their school next week and he couldn’t help but smiled to himself a little as he made his way to Virgil’s bar.  He felt a tight knot of nerves in his stomach as he got closer, wondering if Virgil would talk to him this time or run away again.  Soon enough he was pushing through that huge class door looking around everywhere for a shock of purple hair, or a flash of deepest darkest brown eyes.  And there he was again, behind the bar chatting to that girl with the curly blonde hair.  Virgil hadn’t noticed him yet so he slipped into a booth and watched them talk for a moment.  Despite still looking pale and unwell, his eyes slightly sunken with dark bags and tiredness radiating from every part of his body, Roman was struck by the fact that Virgil still looked so beautiful to him.  It was as if he could almost see everything he knew about him now on his face, in his eyes, in the way he held himself.  There was that fierce intelligence in the quirk of an eyebrow, biting wit in the way his tongue darted out to wet his lips before he spoke.  There was sheer determination in the way he walked, fast and slightly hunched but unafraid to fight anyone who upset him.  There was love and devotion and care in the way he moved his hands, the way he cleaned and cared for his bar that he ran all by himself, in the way he gently nudged his friend and co-worker as they talked and joked together and there was a confidence in the way he spoke to his customers.  Confidence that they would be back, that they liked it here, that they liked _him_ because it was plain as day that he had worked so hard to make this space and to be comfortable with himself and _oh god_ , Roman missed him so much. 

He watched for a little longer as Virgil continued to talk to and serve customers while joking with the girl working with him and Roman couldn’t help but notice that he did seem… sad.  In all the times Roman had been in here before and seen Virgil working he had always seemed most content and most at home here, his movements always steady and sure.  But now he moved too fast, jumped whenever someone spoke to him, his eyes constantly flicking towards the door when he wasn’t occupied.  He kept his conversations with customers short, and did not visit any of those Roman now knew to be regulars at their tables to join them for a little while as he often used to do.  Roman felt a dull ach in his chest as he realised this, was he the reason Virgil was feeling this way?  Was it _his_ fault that Virgil seemed unhappy even here in his happiest of places?  That particular thought was so unpleasant that Roman suddenly felt sick with it, guilt squeezing hard in his chest.  He sighed and got up, hesitating for a second before he made his decision and turned for the door.  Just before he stepped out of his favourite bar, a place that until recently had been so full of happy memories for him, he glanced back towards the counter and his eyes locked with Virgil’s.   
They stared at one another for a moment, Virgil frozen in panic and shock and Roman gazing back sadly, full of longing and a desire to understand.  After what was at once an eternity and no time at all, he nodded once and then turned away, breaking the spell and leaving Virgil behind as he slowly walked away, resigned to the fact that he probably wouldn’t be back here for a long time.

 

 

 

 

Roman lay on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling and willing himself to fall asleep.  He was glad tomorrow was his day off so he could just allow himself to be a bit dramatic and wallow in self-pity for a while.  He had called Remy to tell him what happened when he went to Virgil’s bar, how he had suddenly felt that actually maybe it was better this way, and Remy had told him to sleep on it before he made any final decisions.  Except now sleep was alluding him.  He groaned and rolled onto his side, grumbling to himself.  It was easy for Remy to say sleep on it, he somehow had this ability to fall asleep _anywhere_ and pretty much wherever he wanted.  It was infuriating.  He thought once again about Virgil at the bar and how he had seemed so downtrodden and exhausted.  He tried to compare it with how Virgil had looked on all of the occasions before when Roman had walked in to see him happy, sometimes smiling warmly and clearly enjoying his work.  If only he knew how Virgil had looked before Roman knew him, then he would have a better understanding of whether or not he really was good for Virgil.  How was he supposed to know what to do?  It seemed like Virgil was indeed much happier when they were together, but if that were true why would he suddenly cut Roman off?  He was sure now that Remy was right and he didn’t have the whole story and maybe Virgil did have a really good reason for doing this and maybe they really were better off this way in the long run.  He sighed and rolled over again.  It was going to be a long night. 

 

 

Roman woke in the late morning, his eyes tired from lack of sleep and his head feeling foggy and heavy.  He slowly rolled out of bed and made his way to the bathroom and then the kitchen, making toast and then planting himself in front of the tv ready to let the day slip by in idleness and mundanity when suddenly there was a knock at his door.  He blinked twice before setting down his plate and getting up moving down the hallway cautiously.  He hadn’t ordered anything recently and, frankly, there was no way in hell that Remy would _ever_ in his right mind reduce himself to knocking.  Just before Roman reached the door there was another knock.  He sighed and struggled with the catch, fumbling until finally the door swung open to reveal a small, slender demi-boy with chocolate coloured curls framing his freckled face and rounded glasses in jeans and a light blue t-shirt with a soft grey cardigan tied over his shoulders like a cape.  Roman couldn’t help but smile. 

“Patton,” he said quietly, pulling the enby in question into a warm embrace. 

“Hi Roman,” he replied softly, squeezing tighter for a moment when Roman began to pull away before letting him go.  “Can I come in?” he asked cautiously

“Of course!” Roman stepped aside to let Patton in and suddenly he became painfully aware of the fact that he was dressed only in grey sweat pants, his chest entirely bare.  He blanched as he shut the door. “Eh, make yourself at home Patton I’m just gonna go change!” he darted into his room, pulling on the first shirt he could find as he listened to Patton giggle.  He entered the living room to find Patton sitting daintily on the sofa, looking around and smiling softly at his surroundings and Roman realised with a pang how much he had missed him. 

“Would you like a coffee?” Roman offered.  Patton turned that happy smile onto him.

“Yes please! Only if you’re making one though!” Roman huffed fondly and slipped into the kitchen preparing two coffees and trying to fight off the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that Virgil had sent Patton here to tell him to stop coming into the bar.  A moment later he settled down on the sofa, handing Patton one of the two mugs which he took gratefully, blowing gently on the rising steam.  Roman took a sip (which burnt his mouth) and waited for Patton to speak.  “How are you doing, Ro?” he asked after a moment.  Roman shrugged one shoulder.

“I’ve been better.  You?” he replied, blowing on his own coffee now. 

“I’ve also been better,” his voice was quiet and his eyes a little sad.  Roman felt his eyebrows draw together in sympathy.  He hadn’t even thought of how this whole situation must have been effecting Patton and Logan.  Shame and guilt flooded his stomach.  He really was a self-centred moron…

“Did Virge send you to tell me to leave him alone?” Roman asked quietly.  Patton’s eyes widened in alarm and he sloshed coffee onto his jeans as he gestured frantically.

“What? Oh my god, _no_ , Roman, he doesn’t even know I’m here!” Patton hastened to reassure him.  Roman smiled at his friend’s effort. 

“Oh, okay, then what are you doing here?” he asked.  Patton smiled sadly and took his hand, squeezing gently. 

“I missed you, Ro,” he looked so sincere that Roman didn’t doubt him for a second.  But he also knew that wasn’t the only reason.  

“Pat, c’mon, tell me,” Patton’s smile faltered before turning a little sheepish. 

“Well, honestly, Logan and I are a little worried…” he began hesitantly. 

“About Virgil,” Roman nodded, mostly to himself but immediately Patton was shaking his head earnestly.

“About _both_ of you,” he said, squeezing Roman’s hand again.  Roman felt his eyes welling up at the admission. 

“I just don’t know what to do, Pat.  I’ve tried so hard to speak to him, to find out what’s going on but he won’t talk to me!  And we promised each other that we’d tell each other if something was wrong I just don’t get it,” Patton was nodding along as he spoke, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb on the back of Roman’s hand and suddenly Roman was so glad that he had come over. 

“Roman, I’m sure you’ve gathered that Virgil has a lot of issues with commitment.  I can’t tell you why, it’s not my story to tell, but Roman please don’t give up on him yet! I’ve never, _never_ seen him as happy as he has been these last few months with you,” and Roman was crying again. 

“But he won’t even talk to me, Pat!” Patton’s eyes were full of sympathy. 

“I know, and we’ve tried to talk to him but he won’t talk to us either, so… Logan and I thought that maybe we should stage an intervention,” Roman felt his heart stop for a minute. 

“Wait, what?” he asked quickly.

“Look, we told Virge to come over tomorrow night for a movie night.  Just get there before he does and you guys can talk,” Patton said, smiling excitedly. 

“Oh Patton, I don’t know if that’s gonna work,” nerves churned in his stomach at the thought of all the different reactions Virgil could have, almost all of them negative.   

“ _Please_ , Roman.  We have to try, please!” Patton begged.  Roman rubbed his forehead, willing his heart to stop desperately hoping that somehow everything would work out each time he considered going to see Virgil. 

“Okay, Patton, we’ll try, but this could be a disaster,” he said finally.  Patton squealed in delight and clapped his hands together a couple of times.  Roman raised his eyebrows and immediately Patton adopted a serious expression once more. 

“Are you sure, Roman?” he asked softly.  Roman thought for a moment, remembering the way Virgil’s hand felt in his and how over the last few weeks he had almost felt as if he were floating he had been so happy.

“Yeah, Pat, I’m sure,”

 

 

 

Roman was sitting on Patton and Logan’s couch, his heart thumping in his chest as Patton sat practically vibrating beside him and Logan paced back and forth in front of them.

“Is he nearly here?” Patton asked, fidgeting with the hem of his skirt as he spoke.  Logan sighed.

“Patton, do you recall me telling you that I didn’t know approximately one minute ago?” he asked, his voice clipped.  “No new information has come in,” Patton deflated a little and Logan’s eyes immediately softened.  He stopped pacing and bent down to kiss Patton’s head, causing him to smile brightly.  Roman felt a tug in his heart at the display.  Suddenly there was a sharp knock at the door and they all jumped.  There was a long moment of silence before Logan nodded once and swept down the hallway.  Roman’s heart immediately doubled its efforts, beating harder than it ever had before. 

“’Sup, Lo,” he heard Virgil’s low voice down the hall.  He and Patton both stood at once, hardly breathing as the two men approached.  They stepped into the living space and cold deafening silence fell over them all.  Virgil’s eyes bore into Roman’s as several emotions flashed through them; shock, embarrassment, guilt and more all in an instant before his jaw was set and he turned to leave.

“NO!” three voices called at once and Logan grabbed Virgil’s arm, which he attempted to rip from his grasp causing the two to struggle.

“LOGAN LET GO!” Virgil shouted, his eyes full of fury. 

“Virgil, _please_ , let’s just talk about this!” Patton had rushed over, grasping at Virgil’s hand even as he tried to pull it away. 

“No, Pat, there’s nothing to talk about,” Virgil snapped.

“You are behaving like a child, Virgil, please desist,” Logan’s voice was clipped and maybe even angry as he continued to struggle to keep Virgil in the apartment. 

“This is none of your damn business, Lo!” Virgil was nothing short of irate now, his eye flashing dangerously.  All three of them began speaking at once, wrestling with one another until finally Patton snapped.

“STOP!” he yelled, his voice ringing out through the room.  Everyone froze.  “Someone is going to get hurt! Stop it now!” Roman had never heard Patton sound so commanding, and even though he was so small he suddenly seemed to take up a huge amount of space as Logan and Virgil stared at him and then slowly let one another go. 

“Guys, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to do this.  I’m leaving,” Virgil’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper, and he made to escape once again. 

“Virge…” Roman spoke for the first time since he had arrived and he saw Virgil freeze once again, his shoulders hunching instinctively.  Slowly Virgil turned around to look at him while Logan and Patton stared with wide eyes, hardly daring to breathe.  “You promised me, Virge.  You _promised_ we’d be honest with each other.  Please.  Please just talk to me, and if you still want me to go after, I will.  And I’ll never bother you again but please, _please_ just talk to me first,” he knew he was begging but he hardly cared as he stared into Virgil’s eyes imploringly, hoping, almost praying that he would stay.  Virgil hesitated.  Then he sighed.

“Lo, Pat, could you give us some space?” he asked quietly.  Without a word the pair disappeared into the entryway before the door swung closed with a soft click, leaving Roman and Virgil alone.

“Thank you, Virge,” Roman murmured.  Virgil sighed and shrugged off his jacket before slinging it over the back of the couch.  He straightened up and moved closer to Roman, staring relentlessly into his eyes.  He took a deep breath and then he spoke to Roman for the first time in over a week.

“Okay, Princey.  You wanna talk?  Let’s talk,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT PEOPLE THEY ARE FINALLY GOING TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER THIS IS NOT A DRILL REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
> 
>  
> 
> To everyone who reads, leaves kudos and comments; I love you. 
> 
> As always, roast me if you see a typo.


	11. Tell Me to Hold On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil finally communicate with one another like adults.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT is UP everyBODY??? 
> 
> There's only one more chapter and an epilogue after this!!! I hope you're ready for some badass communication in this chapter!

_Eight Years Earlier_

Virgil stared up at the imposing grey building before him.  He had never felt as small as he did now, with students bustling around him in every direction, so many faces it was overwhelming.  He sucked in a deep breath and willed his hands to stop shaking where they gripped the strap of his satchel.  His hair was too short.  His Mom had insisted that he cut it before leaving for college and oh _god_ his precious bangs were gone and he felt so exposed!

 _Calm down_ he told himself firmly, _this is your chance for a fresh start_.

Holding his head a little higher, he shuffled through the automatic doors and into his new place of learning, repeating his mantra to himself; _I got in, they gave me a scholarship, I deserve to be here_.  He made his way through the reception area and past the student canteen, trying his hardest not to duck his head every time he caught somebody’s eye.  He wondered down small corridors with seemingly endless doors in every one, twisting and turning with harsh yellow lights glaring from above against the cold white stone walls.  His heavy combat boots thudding dully against the carpet with every step, he began to feel slight panic rising in his stomach as he realised he couldn’t remember the way back to reception, or the canteen.  How long had he been walking?  How big was this place?  Why hadn’t he seen another person in any of the last three corridors he had been down?

Feeling the panic really start to settle in now he moved faster, almost jogging down the corridors, trying desperately to find his way back, or at least a way out.  Suddenly he could hear a faint gaggle of voices coming from somewhere nearby.  His heart picking up speed, he followed the sound as best he could, turning down two more corridors before he abruptly came upon a large open space with cracked leather sofas, a lopsided ping pong table and two very questionable looking microwaves.  The space was absolutely packed with students visiting various different stalls that had been set up in every available space the hall had to offer.  Stalls for the badminton team, for the debate club, for the Knit and Natter group (they had a sign next to this one that proclaimed them to also be the Stitch and Bitch club) and so many more he could hardly take them all in.  Feeling somehow even more overwhelmed here than he had in the seemingly endless corridors, he turned to go before a bright flash of rainbow caught his eye.  His head whipped round as he searched the room with intent until he saw it.  Right at the back there was a small LGBTQ+ stall with several people gathered around chatting to one another.  He took a deep breath.

 _You’re not at home anymore,_ he reminded himself firmly.  _You can do whatever you want here._

Slowly he pushed his way through the crowd, twisting his hands around his bag strap as he went, until finally he stood in front of the stall, a few smiling faces turned to greet him while others continued their conversations.

“Hey!” a tall guy with sandy coloured hair smiled brightly at him from behind the stall, offering him a rainbow badge.  “Are you part of the community?  I’m Peter and I’m the LGBTQ+ student representative this year! Any Queer-related issues, come to me buddy!” his voice was high and nasal, his grin so wide it seemed like it had been pasted on.  Virgil immediately recoiled inwardly, but on the outside he smiled a little and took the badge. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, slipping it into his pocket.  The guy looked like he was about to start some sort of pre-rehearsed political speech and Virgil really wasn’t feeling up to that at this precise moment.  He turned sharply to his left and began talking to the first person he saw.  “Hi, my name’s Virgil, nice to meet you!” he exclaimed, far too brightly.  He cringed as the person in front of him turned around.  She was small and petit with smooth dark skin and hair such a deep brown it was almost black that fell to the small of her back.  Her eyes were stunningly beautiful, brown in colour and they seemed to shine as she smiled up at him. 

“Hi, Virgil! I’m Emi.  What brings you to the LGBTQ+ stall on this fine day?” she asked brightly, her voice low for a female but soft too.  Virgil blinked twice feeling his cheeks warm. 

“Oh, em, hi, er… I was just hoping to meet some more queer people,” why was he so nervous all of a sudden?  He sounded like he’d just attempted to down a glass of whiskey.

“That’s cool!  I did the same thing when I started my course last year, I was like, pleeeease let me meet more bi folks!” she laughed a little awkwardly and Virgil felt something swoop in his stomach.

“Oh, you’re bi?” he asked, his heart beating a little harder in his chest.  She seemed to deflate a little.

“Yeah, you’re not one of those people who thinks bisexuality is not a thing, are you?” she asked hesitantly, clearly trying hard to come off as light hearted and joking, but Virgil knew all too well the anxiousness that lay beneath it.

“What? No, no! I’m bi too!” he spluttered in his haste to reassure her.  They looked at each other for a moment before they both smiled and then started giggling together.  Virgil felt the nerves recede a little as he listened to her laugh. 

“Em, a few of us were going to go get a coffee just now if you wanna come?” she asked once their laughter had died down.  Virgil felt a small smile pulling at his lips as he looked down at her.  She was so tiny, but so open and friendly. 

“Yeah, that’d be awesome.  Emi, right?” he asked for clarification.  She smiled again, bright and happy and Virgil was sure he was blushing again.

“Yeah, and you’re Virgil?” she confirmed.  He nodded before she introduced him to a few other people and before he knew it he was swept off for coffee with this new bunch of people, all of whom were chatting to him, asking him questions and telling him about themselves, trying their best to make him feel welcome and suddenly he felt that maybe college wouldn’t be so bad after all.  He couldn’t stop looking at Emi for the rest of the afternoon. 

 

 

“Hey, Virgy!” a bright happy voice called as he swung open the door to this familiar apartment, the spare key he had been given felt warm in his hand.  He wrinkled his nose as he tried hard not to laugh.

“Ew, don’t call me that,” he said as Emi appeared from the living room in sweat pants and a strappy vest, her hair tied back in a messy bun and her face bare. 

“Try and stop me, Virgy!” she laughed as she pulled herself up on her tip toes to kiss Virgil.  He closed his eyes and melted into it, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her a little before they broke apart.  She smiled again and he felt something warm in his chest.  He always thought she looked most beautiful like this, totally relaxed and completely casual.  Not that she wasn’t beautiful all the time, he just particularly enjoyed the soft lazy afternoons they would spend together in their pyjamas, cuddling on the sofa and watching trashy tv, laughing together until their sides hurt. 

“You want a drink?” she asked as she made her way into the kitchen.  He followed, kicking his shoes off and dumping his bag, gratefully accepting the beer she handed him a moment later.  “How was work?” she asked, taking a sip from her own can. 

“Pretty good,” he shrugged, running a hand through his dark hair.  “I’m getting really good at making cocktails now, and Brendon said if I want he’d be willing to give me a set of keys so I can try opening by myself next weekend,” he added.  Her eyes lit up as he spoke.

“Oh my god, Virge, that’s great!  Maybe he’s going to, like, make you a manager or something!” Emi’s smile was so bright and so proud that the slight feeling of uneasiness in his stomach almost doubled at the sight.  Immediately gauging his reaction her face fell.  “Virge? What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Well, I like working in the bar and everything, but, I thought it was just to get me through the end of college.  Shouldn’t I be, y’know, trying to get a job in my field?” he looked down as he spoke, shame causing tears to form at the sides of his eyes.  Immediately Emi took his hand squeezing gently before wrapping her tiny frame around him in comfort.  He breathed her in, allowing some of the tension to ease as he did so. 

“I don’t know, Virge, but let’s try not to worry about it just now, okay?  We’ll figure it out, you and me together.  We’re a team,” she murmured.  He held her tighter as his heart almost burst with emotion. 

“I love you, Em,” he whispered into her hair. 

“I love you too,”

 

 

“I…. I can’t believe this is happening,” his voice was shaking, his eyes hurt from crying, every muscle in his body was sore.  He looked at Emi, his chest aching with longing.  She was no better, her eyes red and swollen, mascara running down her face, her skin red and blotchy.  She sniffled weakly. 

“Me neither, Virge, but for the last like six months it’s like we haven’t even been dating.  We never see each other, we hardly talk to each other!” he felt more tears slip down his face.  He knew it was true. 

“Em, we’ve been together for three and a half years, we’ve grown up together!  There must be something we can do.  We’re a _team_ , remember?” his voice was breaking again as he cried harder. 

“I don’t think there is, Virge.  Not right now at least.  You’re still my best friend,” she grabbed his hand and he gripped back, looking into her fierce eyes, so full of sadness and heartbreak at this moment. 

“You’ll always be my best friend,” he told her quietly, she sniffled again before smiling sadly. 

“This isn’t the end, Virge, we’re going to be okay,” she whispered.  He blinked as more tears slipped down his cheeks.

“I really thought we were gonna be it, Em,” he said quietly, still holding her hand tight in his “I really thought we were gonna make it,” she nodded sadly. 

“So did I, Virge.  So did I,”

 

 

 

_Present Day_

Virgil stared up into Roman’s eyes, his heart pounding in his chest.  The moment he had agreed to talk he had immediately felt exactly as he had last time, when the love of his life had told him that she didn’t want to be with him anymore, and now here he was with Roman. Wonderful, sweet, kind, innocent Roman, who he had hurt so badly to try and avoid that same fate.  Roman looked so vulnerable, his eyes soft and sad as he stared back at Virgil.  The silence stretched on and on until Virgil felt his eyebrows raising in disbelief.

“Seriously?!” he almost yelled, causing Roman to jump in surprise “You bombard me with texts and calls, show up at my bar a bunch of times and conspire with my friends just to get me to agree to talk to you and now I’m here you have nothing to say?” his heart was racing.  He knew he was being hostile but he couldn’t help it, he was so afraid of getting hurt, of hurting Roman more, that his instincts didn’t seem to know what to do.  Roman blinked a couple of times before he frowned crossly.

“Calm down Brad Pitiful, I’m just trying to find the right words!” Roman fired back and Virgil felt a contemptable smirk pull at his lips.

“Well take all the time you need, Princey,” he sneered.  Roman glowered at him.

“Hey listen, is Virgil there? I’d really like to speak to _him_ instead of whoever this asshole is,” Virgil huffed in disbelief

“Oh _excuse me_ , your highness, but I do believe I told you from the get-go that I’m a Grade A Asshole, so I don’t really see what your problem is right now,” Roman threw his arms up in frustration

“You don’t see what my problem is?” his voice was raised and irate now as he continued to glare across the room.  Virgil lifted one finger to tap on his chin, humming in mock thoughtfulness

“Nope,” he replied, popping the P loudly and smirking spitefully.

“Would you like a hint, Sweeny Toddler?” Roman practically growled, his eyes dark and almost angry.

“I’d like nothing more,” Virgil twisted his lips in a mock smile as the sarcastic words fell from his lips.  Roman sneered back at him. 

“His name’s Virgil Mason and right now he’s being a real dick,” he snapped.  Virgil lifted his hand to his chest in an exaggerated gesture of fake hurt.

“Really, Princey? Me? _I’m_ your problem?  Did you essentially stalk me for a week just to tell me that?” his voice was cold and unkind and he watched as the rage seemed to drain from Roman’s face while he stared at Virgil in sheer exasperation. 

“Virgil, why are you doing this?” he asked quietly.  All of Virgil’s anger, his hostility and unkindness stopped dead in his chest.  He could do nothing but stare as those brilliant green eyes desperately searched his face, looking for an answer.  He blinked back at Roman as he frantically searched within himself, wondering if he _could_ even answer that question. 

“I…I don’t know,” he whispered back.  Roman sighed as he turned to sit on the couch, dropping his head in his hands as he did so.  Virgil let out a long breath before doing the same.  They sat together in silence for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts, hurting and guilty and unsure of how to proceed.  “I’m sorry, Roman,” Virgil murmured after another minute’s silence.  Roman huffed indignantly.

“What for?” he asked bitterly, still gazing down at the floor rather than looking at Virgil. 

“For yelling at you just now.  For ignoring you.  For breaking our promise,” he replied, shrugging one shoulder as he did so.  “I’ve been a real shitty friend,” he added, risking a glance at Roman.  The tiniest of smiles graced his lips.

“Yeah, pretty much,” he agreed, that hint of a teasing smile still there, and Virgil felt a small grin ghosting his own face. 

“I don’t expect you to forgive me or anything but I just want you to know that I had my reasons,” his smile was gone again and he found himself looking away once more, unable to handle Roman’s gentle and confused expression. 

“Can you tell me them?” Roman asked quietly.  Virgil groaned.

“What good will that do?” he muttered. 

“Well, Panic! At the Everywhere, maybe they’re dumb,” Roman quipped, nudging Virgil gently with his shoulder.  Virgil almost laughed at that. 

“Okay fine, jackass, but saddle yourself up for a really long fucking story,” he replied grumpily.  Roman made a show of getting comfortable on the couch and Virgil nearly chuckled again.  “Fuck, where to start… You want my whole tragic life story?” he asked rhetorically.  Roman hummed, pretending to think.

“Sure, why not?  We’ve got all night!” he replied with faux cheer.  Virgil smirked. 

“Alright then.  It’s pretty standard stuff honestly.  Middle child with anxiety issues from an early age constantly overlooked etc.  My parents were pretty shit, never overly abusive but they were pretty clear on how they felt about gay people so of course all hell broke loose when I told them I wanted to go to prom with a boy.  We don’t talk anymore.  I never even got round to telling them I’m bi and not just gay.  I still talk to my younger brother though who _is_ gay.  They don’t talk to him either. 

Anyway, that guy I went to prom with?  He was my first boyfriend, first significant other actually, and he turned out to be a total dick.  I don’t want to get into it really, but let’s just say he was a total ass who manipulated me and cut me off from my friends and wouldn’t take no for an answer.  I broke up with him before I left for college,” Virgil paused, glancing over at Roman to gage his reaction so far.  He was listening intently, his brow furrowed no doubt at the unpleasantness that had been revealed thus far.  Virgil grimaced but decided to push on.  “And then I got to college and you already know that I had to work in bars to pay my way.  But I also got involved with the LGBTQ+ community there.  I went on a few nights out, went to a couple of the gay movie nights, I made a few friends, we all went to Pride together and after a while I started dating this girl,” Roman stiffened as Virgil paused again.

“What is it Princey?  It’s not unheard of for bisexual people to date folks of different genders y’know,” he drawled and Roman sighed in exasperation.

“Yeah, that’s why I reacted, cause you mentioned you dated a girl.  Nothing to do with the fact that you were doing a dramatic build up to that point,” he shot back and Virgil huffed a laugh.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” he amended.  Roman smiled a little and he took that as an invitation to continue.  “Her name was Emi and, man, she was so fucking cool.  She was the kindest, sweetest most thoughtful person I ever met.  She was so fucking gentle, Roman, not like anyone I had ever met before.  And she was clever and determined and sassy and, god, I fucking loved her,” Virgil paused as even now after all this time he felt the unpleasant tightness in his chest as he remembered what had happened.  Suddenly he felt Roman’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.  He turned to look into those green eyes and saw the patience and understanding.  God, he really didn’t deserve the kindness Roman was showing him.  Taking a deep breath he smiled a little at Roman before continuing. “Basically it was like a fucking fairy tale or some shit.  We were so happy, we helped each other with our problems, instead of fighting loads we talked things through whenever one or both of us did something shitty.  We hung out with friends together but we also gave each other space to hang out with our own friends too.  We didn’t even really get jealous or anything cause we trusted each other so much,” he stopped again, taking another deep breath and willing the tears building in his eyes not to spill over.  Roman was gently rubbing his back now.

“Virgil?  Are you okay?  Do you need to take a break?” he asked quietly.  Virgil shook his head, rubbing at the wetness in his eyes, probably smudging his eyeliner as he did so. 

“I don’t know exactly when things started to change but I was getting more and more stressed at uni.  Working so much while trying to study takes its toll, y’know?  And then I was made a manager at the bar and I was really happy because hey here was something I was actually good at right?  But I had so many deadlines and exams and I couldn’t figure out how I was going to get a job in my field and it just all became too much at one point.  So I pretty much cut myself off from my friends, I missed a lot of lectures and classes and a few shifts at work. 

It was really hard on Emi.  She wanted to help so badly, but I was kind of closing off from her too.  I didn’t want her to get hurt, I didn’t want her to see how bad it was.  It went on for a while.  Over about six months actually, and I had ups and downs during that time but it was mostly downs and we hardly ever saw each other, we didn’t really talk or hang out anymore.  She kept telling me how much she wanted to be with me, and I wanted to be with her too, so much.  More than anything.  And she tried so hard to help me, to be understanding, to push me when I needed it but nothing seemed to work.  You can’t love someone’s mental illness away, and eventually that just became too much for her.  So she left,” Virgil stopped abruptly.  Tears were slipping down his cheeks and he could taste the salt as he bit his lip, trying hard not to break down completely.  He took a few steadying breaths in the silence, making a conscious effort to relax all of the muscles he had clenched while telling the story.  Eventually he looked at Roman who was staring thoughtfully at the carpet. 

Virgil took another deep breath.  He had to do this.  It would hurt but Roman had to know the truth, it was the only way to keep them from more pain in the long run.  “That’s why I can’t be your boyfriend, Roman,” he said quietly.  Every muscle in Roman’s body seemed to tense as he turned to look at Virgil, eyes wide and sad and confused.  “I can’t date you because the same thing will happen again.  Fuck, it already has, Roman! I’m a mess!  Something will happen and I’ll have a fucking meltdown and I’ll hurt you in the process and yeah maybe we’ll get past it the first couple of times but then it will keep happening over and over again and it will be too much because _you can’t love someone’s mental illness away_.  I’m sorry, I really am.  But it’s better this way,” he watched as Roman began to cry too, staring earnestly into Virgil’s eyes and he looked so sad, so heartbroken and Virgil knew he understood.  He was going to accept what Virgil had just said and he was going to say goodbye and maybe they would be friends but it would be the same as with Emi, when they’d promised they would always be friends and he hadn’t heard from her in years because it was too painful and now the same thing was going to happen with Roman and _oh god_ how could he have been so stupid _again_?

“Virgil,” Roman’s voice was soft and gentle.  Virgil’s mind stopped racing immediately.  He stared at Roman waiting for him to say that he was going to leave. “I understand everything you just said.  And I’m sorry, I truly am sorry that you’ve had to live with all that pain.  But I need you to understand something too.  I’m not going to _try_ to love your mental illness away,” Virgil stared in shock as Roman continued looking earnestly into his eyes.  “Everyone has their own issues in life, Virge, and yes when you’re in a relationship you and your partner, or partners, can help each other through them and you can support one another and offer care and advice.  But if you’re with a person who suffers from chronic pain or has a long-term illness you can’t expect that to just _go away_ because of the relationship.  That’s ludicrous!  And you can’t expect a relationship to be sunshine and rainbows all the time, especially not a long-term one.  Life is going to throw things at you and it’s going to be difficult sometimes, maybe a lot of the time, and if you leave your partner every time that happens just to save them from the pain then you’re going to miss out on a lot of important parts of having a relationship like getting through the bad times together.  Not only that but a lot of the time you could hurt someone more by trying to save them the pain.  You can’t stop everyone from getting hurt all the time, Virge. 

Everyone gets hurt by life sometimes.  It’s better to feel it and learn from it and grow than to just sit on the side-lines and throw away every good thing that comes to you because you’re scared of it ending.  That’s no way to live, Virge,” Roman finished and looked down into his hands, sighing a little as he did so.  Virgil blinked a couple of times as he stared at Roman.  That was… not at all what he had expected to hear.  The thought that Roman would be willing to accept him, anxiety and all, had his heart racing.  Did Roman have a point?  Was it worth giving this a shot after all?  

“But Roman, what if we _did_ get together and then it all goes to shit?” he blurted out, unable to stop himself.  Roman’s eyes softened. 

“I can’t guarantee that won’t happen,” he offered quietly, “But don’t you think that all of the good stuff might just be worth it?” Virgil’s heart was pounding in his chest now.  He felt his entire being flood with emotion as he remembered all of the lovely, soft things he had felt since he met Roman.  All of the gentle touches, the loud laughter, the witty quips, the soft cuddles, the endless fun.  And then he remembered how it had been since he cut all of that off.  The emptiness and loneliness, the disappointed looks from Patton and Logan, the pain and sadness and really, when he looked at it like that, in light of everything Roman had just said, suddenly the choice seemed a lot simpler.

“Yes,” Virgil whispered, hardly daring to breathe.  Roman blinked once.

“What?” Virgil felt a smile spread slowly over his lips

“YES!” he shouted and, without warning, he grabbed Roman’s shirt and crashed their lips together.  For a split second neither one moved as they sat there frozen, unsure of whether or not it was too much after everything they had just said and felt, unsure if it really could work, if they really were ready to give this a shot.  Then Roman shifted the tiniest bit, fitting their lips together a little better and in an instant all of their doubts and insecurities came crashing down as they kissed like their lives depended on it.  Roman flung his arms around Virgil’s waist, pulling him as close as possible as their lips moved together, gliding, kissing and tasting over and over again.  Virgil felt everything swell in his chest as he breathed Roman in, running his fingers through soft, thick hair, swiping his tongue along the roof of his mouth, pushing against him and almost clawing at his back until he finally got the hint and pulled Virgil into his lap, grabbing his hair and pulling him even closer as they fought to express everything they were feeling.

 They could be a daydream or a nightmare, a fairy-tale or a tragedy, a beautiful clear blue sky or the harshest of storms, raging against one another or lying peacefully together in perfect serenity.  Or maybe, they could be both, Virgil realised as he cupped Roman’s cheek, kissing him deeply and desperately as if it were the very thing keeping him alive.  They would fight, together and alone, and they would love together and alone but only if Virgil gave them the chance.  They couldn’t be anything if Virgil refused to open himself up to the possibility of pain.  And he understood now that with that also came the possibility of happiness, deep set contentment, comfort and care and maybe even love, if he was patient and kind.  He had no way of knowing how or when they would end, but he did know that if he cut Roman off now they could never begin at all and at last he realised that that was a mistake he was not willing to make. 

Slowly the fire within them both simmered down into a small flame, their kisses turning slower and more gentle with it until they were just pressing their closed lips together over and over again, worn out with how much they were feeling and knowing that there was more to come.  Eventually Virgil pulled away, the tear tracks dry on his face.  He looked at Roman and smiled seeing the familiar warmth and happiness in his eyes that had been missing for so long. 

“I want to be with you, Virge, if you’ll let me,” Roman murmured, pressing his forehead to rest against Virgil’s.  He smiled again and pressed a small kiss to Roman’s nose.

“Okay,” he whispered back and Roman smiled once more before gently pressing their lips together one more time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE ANGST IS OVER EVERYONE WE MADE IT!! GET READY FOR FLUFF CENTRAL!!!!
> 
> To everyone who is reading, commenting on and leaving kudos on this fic, thank you all so so much. You have no idea what it means to me every time I get a notification for a comment and to read your kind, loving and insightful words it just fucking maKES MY DAY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
> 
> I can't believe this story is nearly over! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter!!


	12. Maybe we'll find a Brand New Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman makes plans to tell Virgil exactly how much he feels for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. My. God. 
> 
> This is it. 
> 
> There is an epilogue coming some time in the next couple of weeks but this is the last chapter of this fic!! I can't believe it!! 
> 
> In this chapter: A fuck ton of fluff, FINALLY some more smut aaaaand surprise Roman backstory..... Enjoy ;)

“Okay Roman, listen, I need to get something off my chest,” Roman grinned as Virgil came into his living room, fidgeting nervously with the zips on his hoodie sleeves.

“Is it your shirt? Please say yes,” Roman winked as Virgil immediately stopped fidgeting to blink at him.

“What? No, fuck you!” he sneered.  Roman placed his book on the table as he got up and wrapped his arms around Virgil’s waist.

“That’s what I was hoping for,” he purred, using every ounce of self-control he had not to burst out laughing as Virgil’s cheeks reddened.

“Oh my god, shut up! I’m trying to tell you something!” Virgil squirmed out of his embrace and Roman chuckled letting him go.

“Sorry, sorry.  What’s bothering you, J D-lightful?” he asked.  Virgil huffed but Roman could see from the small grin he was trying to conceal that he wasn’t actually annoyed. 

“I’m just not sure about tonight,” he confessed quietly.  Roman frowned a little.

“Why not? It’s going to be great! It has awesome reviews…” Virgil groaned loudly

“Not the _film_ , moron! I’m worried that Logan and Remy will, y’know… I’m just not sure they’re going to like each other,” Virgil’s voice had turned soft by the end of his sentence and Roman realised he was actually worried.  He adopted a more serious expression and took Virgil’s hand, squeezing gently. 

“Virge, it’s going to be fine!  I have a feeling Logan and Remy have a lot more in common than we think they do.  I bet they’ll get on like a house on fire!”

 

 

 

 

Roman found himself unable to stop grinning as he stood in the line at the movie theatre with Virgil, Logan and Patton, the three of them chatting animatedly as he listened allowing a happy warmth to spread gently through his chest as he watched them.  It had been almost three weeks since he and Virgil had finally, _finally_ talked things through and started properly dating and, well, to say he was loving it was a pretty huge understatement.  They had been on several cute dates, gone back to hanging out often at each other’s apartments, sleeping over and watching cartoons, cuddling and occasionally making out.  They had not, however, slept together again yet as they had both agreed it would be nice to date for a while before getting back into that side of things.  Roman was brought back to the present when he heard Virgil snort in that ridiculously adorable way of his.  Judging by Patton’s pleased look and Logan’s expression of pure exasperation Patton must have just made a pun of some kind.  Roman smiled again and slipped his hand into Virgil’s, squeezing gently when he looked up at him and smiled, bright and happy, and it was such a good look on him.  He leaned down to press a kiss to Virgil’s cheek and as he did so a bored, drawling voice spoke from behind him.

“Ugh, PDA, gurl really?” Roman’s head whipped round to see Remy standing there in a crop top and jeans, smirking and looking at them over his sunglasses.  Roman grinned and pulled his best friend into a hug before releasing him and turning to the others. 

“’Sup, Remy.  Like the crop top, it looks good,” Virgil offered, gesturing to Remy’s midriff as he spoke.

“Oh I know,” Remy winked, causing Virgil to huff a laugh.  Remy then turned to Logan and Patton, looking them both up and down as they stood side by side, one of them grinning brightly and the other remaining stoic as always, regarding Remy carefully. 

“Remy, this is Logan and Patton, Virgil’s best friends.  Guys, this is Remy, my best friend from high school and also now a work colleague,” Roman introduced them.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” Patton exclaimed, practically bouncing on the spot from excitement.  Roman found himself smiling fondly at the display.

“And you, doll,” Remy smiled at him before turning to Logan, who offered him a small, polite smile.

“Salutations,” Remy blinked then grinned wickedly.

“And what a pleasure it is to meet you as well, handsome,” Remy winked before turning swiftly and walking up to the counter to purchase his ticket.  Roman watched with delight as Logan’s cheeks flushed a dark red, causing Patton to giggle and then flounce over to join Remy at the counter, shortly followed by a rather smug looking Virgil. 

“Don’t worry, Pocket Protector, you get used to it,” Roman teased, slapping Logan’s shoulder and moving to join the others as well.  By the time they had bought their tickets and popcorn Logan’s blush had only just receded. 

 

The movie had been chosen by Roman, a fun and silly action movie that required little to no brain power to enjoy and he was pleased to note that everyone did seem to be enjoying it in their own way.  Logan was making Virgil laugh by pointing out every plot-hole and inconsistency in the film, Remy was exclaiming loudly at _every_ explosion and gun shot, shouting things like _guuuuuurl_ and _come through queen!_ This was apparently highly entertaining for basically everyone in the theatre.  And then there was himself and Patton, who had opted to sit together, and they were now clasping one another’s hands as they stared up at the screen, two of the main characters having a heart to heart before them.  Patton squeezed Roman’s hand gently before leaning close to whisper in his ear.

“Thank you so much for this, Roman.  It’s so great to have you back,” he leaned back and smiled and Roman felt his whole heart swell with platonic love for the man beside him.  He glanced over at the other three and felt much the same about Logan and Remy and, well, when he looked at Virgil he felt so much he could hardly put a name to it.  But one word had been floating around his head for the past few days and he was beginning to think about voicing it soon.  He felt his cheeks warm pleasantly as Virgil glanced over and caught his eye, winking at him before turning back to Logan to continue tearing the movie to shreds. 

Over two hours later they all piled out of the theatre, making their way to the doors of the cinema complex and arguing about what to do next when Roman’s heart stopped dead in his chest.  There in the line to buy movie tickets, with some guy he didn’t recognise, was Declan, his ex.  He was exactly as Roman remembered him, tall and slim, wearing almost all black save for bright yellow Doc Martins and a yellow beanie to match, his brown hair curling out from underneath it, green eyes scanning the screen listing the show times for each film.  He hadn’t seen Roman yet and, if he was lucky, he wouldn’t see him at all.  Roman’s heart stuttered back into action, suddenly working overtime as he grabbed Remy’s arm and spun him round to face him.

“We need to leave _now_ ,” he hissed.  Remy stared up at him in surprise and confusion.

“What? Why?” he asked, trying to pull his arm out of Roman’s vice-like grip.

“Declan’s here!” Roman whisper-shouted.  Remy’s eyes immediately flashed with rage as he scanned the room, spotting Declan in the line.

“What’s going on, kiddos?” Patton asked, concern tinging his usually cheery voice. 

“Roman’s awful ex is here,” Remy spat, still glaring at Declan who, thankfully, had still failed to notice them.

“Ooh where?” Virgil teased, looking around.

“The pretentious asshole in the queue,” Remy informed him.  Roman sighed as Virgil looked around.  He turned to Logan imploringly.  Logan nodded once before placing his hand on Patton’s shoulder.

“I think we should all leave at once to avoid any sort of altercation,” he stated.

“You’re speaking my language, Specs,” Roman agreed, gently steering Remy towards the door as Patton and Logan followed suit.  “Virge? You coming?” Roman called over his shoulder.  When there was no response he looked back to see Virgil still staring at Declan, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. He glanced over to see Declan staring back at him with just as much surprise on his own face.  Roman felt his eyebrows draw together in confusion.  Did they know each other?  He shook his head to clear it.  That question would have to wait, right now he had to get out of here.  He walked over to Virgil and took his hand, tugging gently and refusing to look over at Declan, even as he could feel his eyes burning into him, completely sure that he had seen him now.  Virgil looked down when Roman took his hand, then up at Roman, his eyes full of confusion and a little sadness.  Roman smiled, trying to put as much warmth as he could possibly muster into it.

“Come on, Virge, let’s go,” he murmured.  Virgil nodded and they turned and left to join their friends just outside the door. 

“Gurl, what happened?” Remy asked as soon as they stepped outside.  Roman glanced at Virgil before looking back at Remy.

“Em, I don’t know?” he answered honestly.  Virgil was staring at the sidewalk now, his expression dark and unreadable. 

“So, do you guys want to go to a bar or something?” Patton asked hesitantly, smiling a little awkwardly.

“I think we might call it a night,” Virgil grumbled.  Roman nodded and soon everyone had said their goodbyes, promising to meet again soon.  Roman could feel his mind racing as he and Virgil walked back towards Roman’s apartment in silence.  How could Virgil and Declan possibly know each other?  And from the look on Virgil’s face it seemed that they didn’t get along… After a few more minutes of silence he felt his self-control snap.

“So what happened back there?” he asked, trying to keep his tone light and conversational.  “Do you know Declan somehow?” he added, glancing down at Virgil who was staring straight ahead.

“Is he really your ex?” Virgil asked, suddenly looking at Roman with a fierce heat in his eyes.

“Yeah, why? How do you know him?” Roman could feel slight frustration and tension itching under his skin. 

“Fucking hell it’s a small world,” Virgil muttered looking away again.

“Virgil come on, you’re killing me!  What’s happening?” Roman whined, tugging on Virgil’s hand insistently.  Virgil shook his head.

“It’s just really weird that Declan is your ex… because he’s my ex too,” Virgil turned to look at him again, his eyes wide.  Roman blinked once.  And then twice.  His thoughts almost ground to a halt.

“Wh… Wait… What?!” he managed to get out, staring at Virgil as they continued to walk back to his apartment. 

“You remember I told you about that guy I went to prom with? My first boyfriend?” Virgil said as Roman nodded along “Yeah, that was Declan,” he finished looking back down to the sidewalk beneath him. 

“Holy shit,” Roman mumbled to himself. 

“I know.  What are the fucking chances,” Virgil muttered.  They were approaching Roman’s building now and Roman really felt like he could do with a beer, or maybe even something stronger.  It wasn’t long before he was opening the door to his apartment and taking Virgil’s jacket to hang it up next to his before he shuffled into the kitchen, grabbing two beers and flopping on the couch where Virgil was now sitting, biting on his thumbnail as he appeared lost in thought.  He accepted the beer from Roman and they sat in silence for a little longer, each drinking and ruminating on the revelation. 

“I’m just so surprised,” Roman said eventually, huffing out a sigh.  “You moved away for college, did he follow you to the same city?” he added, turning to Virgil. 

“Nah, I actually grew up in a nearby town.  Almost everyone I knew moved here after high school,” he replied, taking another long swig of his beer.  “Frankly I’m much more interested in how _you_ ended up dating him,” Virgil turned to look at Roman now and Roman sighed. 

“Yeah I guess now’s as good a time as any to get into it,” he conceded.  As much as he hated to talk about his last relationship it was probably worth telling Virgil the whole story he realised as he tried to organise his thoughts, trying to think of where to begin.  “I went to college in another state and I actually only moved here because I was looking for a job, and Remy was working at the arts college and they needed a drama teacher so he got me an interview,” Roman paused but Virgil was just watching him, waiting for him to go on.  “I met Declan after I’d lived here for maybe seven or eight months?  I can’t remember, but he just completely swept me off my feet with all of these big romantic gestures and kind words and gifts and flattery and it was crazy.  No one had ever wanted me like that before, Virge, and honestly it really went to my head,” he stopped again, feeling a little embarrassed, but Virgil’s expression was entirely free of judgement so he pushed on again.  “It was wonderful at first and it didn’t take long before I was entirely convinced that we were madly in love.  And then things just started to change.  He didn’t like me spending time with my friends, he didn’t want me to go out after work but to just come straight home to be with him.  And then after a while that’s all I would do, I would come home to see him every night until I was coming home to an empty apartment while he went out with his friends and texted me to make sure I was at home waiting for him.  I got really lonely and I even had a pretty big fight with Remy when he sat me down and told me that he was manipulating me and being possessive and controlling and I didn’t believe him and it was just awful,” Roman stopped abruptly, breathing deeply to try and reign in the old emotions threatening to spill over once more. 

“It went on for a while, Remy and I made amends and eventually I was so desperate to try and get my relationship with Declan back to how it had been at the beginning that I started doing ridiculous things to prove how much I loved him.  I think part of me knew that I didn’t, so I was trying to prove it to myself as much as anyone else.  I would do pretty much anything he asked, even things I really didn’t want to do.  And on top of that I showered him with gifts and after a while he broke up with me.  He said that he’d been seeing someone else for almost a month and he said that no one else would ever want to be with me because I’m too much to handle…” he trailed off, realising there wasn’t much else to say.  Virgil gripped his hand tightly, gently moving Roman’s face to look him in the eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Roman,” he murmured.  Roman nodded sadly and squeezed Virgil’s hand to show that he was okay.  Because he was.  It may have been terrible at the time, and it certainly had left its mark on him, but he had grown so much since then, learned so much and he was sure that it would never be like that with Virgil and he felt confident enough in himself now that if it ever _were_ that bad with Virgil, he would leave him.  And that was the greatest lesson he had learned. 

“Thanks, Virge,” he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Virgil’s lips, which he reciprocated ever so slightly before pulling Roman into a tight embrace. 

“It was very similar when I was with him, Roman.  He’s an awful person and that is not a reflection on you.  And he was clearly wrong because I want to be with you,” Virgil’s voice was so soft and comforting and Roman felt his chest swell at those words.  He couldn’t help kissing Virgil again at that, allowing his new found happiness to fill him with warmth and affection for the man in his arms.  When they broke apart Roman shifted to bury his head in Virgil’s shoulder, breathing him in and allowing himself to relax.  “Hey, Ro,” Virgil said softly.  Roman hummed lightly to show he was listening.  “Wanna watch cartoons in bed?” he asked.  Roman felt a huge, happy smile pull at his lips.

“I would love nothing more,” he murmured, wrapping his arms tightly around Virgil’s waist and squeezing, earning a breathless chuckle.

“You got it, gorgeous,”

 

 

 

 

The next two weeks passed in a haze of silliness and fun for Roman.   He went on more cute dates with Virgil, spent time at Logan and Patton’s sometimes even when Virgil was not there because of work and they had another hang out with Remy too, who did indeed seem to be getting on very well with both Logan and Patton as Roman had predicted.  By now it was mid-November and the weather was turning a little cooler, though it never really got cold here, it was still cool enough to allow for warm jumpers and fluffy blankets.  Roman found himself with both of those things at Logan and Patton’s one night, snuggled close to Patton under the blanket, with Logan on Patton’s other side as they watched a movie, waiting for Virgil to finish work and join them.  They had been chatting softly all evening about everything and nothing and Roman couldn’t help but revel in the joy of his new normal of spending warm evenings with close friends. 

“When are you going to tell him?” Patton asked softly, continuing their conversation as he sipped from his warm mug of hot chocolate.  Roman smiled.

“Soon.  I was thinking this weekend actually,” he replied.  Patton squealed excitedly while Logan smiled softly, brushing his fingers through Patton’s unruly curls.

“I’m so excited!” Patton exclaimed, practically vibrating in his seat.  Roman and Logan both chuckled.

“You don’t think it’s too soon, do you?” he asked quietly, trying hard not to show the full extent of his nervousness. 

“Oh kiddo, no I don’t think so!  If it’s what you’re feeling and you want to tell him then I think you should.  There’s no set time for these things,” Patton told him gently.  Logan was nodding enthusiastically as he spoke.

“Indeed, all evidence shows that Virgil almost certainly feels the same way and it is likely to elicit a very positive response,” he added and Roman hummed lightly, thinking over what they had said. 

“Okay.  Thanks guys,” he offered, smiling at them both and delighting in the twin smiles he received in return.  They continued to watch the movie peacefully, silently enjoying their shared companionship and soon enough Virgil was knocking at the door and coming in to join them in their cuddle pile, laughing and joking with them all and as Roman looked on he was completely sure of what he was feeling, of what it was that was sitting so warm and comfortably in his chest, that made him want to hold Virgil close and take care of him and be taken care of by him, to do boring domestic things with him like buy plates but to also go on exciting adventures and experience new things and everything.  He wanted everything with Virgil and he was very sure that he knew the name for that feeling and he couldn’t help but feel an excited rush at the prospect of telling him. 

Later that night, when they lay together in Virgil’s bed slowly drifting off to sleep after spending nearly five hours at Logan and Patton’s, Roman drew Virgil a little closer and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“What are you doing on Saturday, Virge?” he asked lightly.  Virgil grumbled a little as he wiggled in his arms, clearly on the cusp of sleep.

“Mmm dunno, why?” he slurred.  Roman couldn’t help giggling at the adorableness.

“Want to do something together?” he asked quietly.  Virgil nodded sleepily, snuggling even closer.

“Sure, no problem,” he mumbled.  Roman smiled and kissed his head again before closing his eyes and allowing himself to drift off to sleep, excitement and nerves still churning slightly in his tummy even as unconsciousness overtook him with a smile still on his lips. 

 

 

 

 

“Princey! Where are we going?!” Virgil demanded again as he trudged up the grassy hill a few paces behind Roman.  Roman smiled, gripping the blanket under his arm a little tighter.

“You’ll see, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance!” he called over his shoulder, quickening his pace as he heard Virgil groan behind him. 

“The sun’s already starting to set!  We’ll need to drive back soon, _why_ did you drive us out of the city so late?” Virgil shouted to him.  Roman waved a hand dismissively as he reached the top of the slope, pleased to note that it was in fact empty. 

“Don’t worry, Doom and Gloom, I’ve got it all under control,” he shouted back as he laid out the blanket, adjusting it slightly to be in the perfect spot.  Virgil finally caught up with him, huffing slightly after the climb as he dumped his rucksack at Roman’s feet.  He glared at Roman half-heartedly as he flopped down on the blanket, waiting for Roman to join him, which he did, unable to keep his wide, happy grin off his face. 

“Okay, _now_ will you tell me what we’re doing here?” Virgil asked, nudging Roman slightly with his shoulder.  Roman could feel himself grinning wider still as he wrapped his arm around Virgil’s shoulders. 

“Look up,” he said gently, glancing up at the sky himself as he did so.  He looked back to see Virgil do the same and then his mouth dropped open as he took in the sheer abundance of starts that were beginning to appear in the night sky as the sun finished setting.

“Wow,” he gasped under his breath, transfixed on the sight above him.  Roman looked up too, still always filled with wonder whenever he looked up at the stars. “You can see so many without the light pollution! I had forgotten what this is like!” Virgil rambled, still staring up, his eyes full of starlight and awe and Roman was sure he’d never looked so beautiful. 

“Pretty cool, huh?” Roman offered gently, turning to look at Virgil again.

“I can’t believe you brought me all the way out here to stargaze, you massive sap,” Virgil teased, leaning closer to Roman as he spoke, but still not tearing his eyes away from the beauty above them.  Roman chuckled softly. 

“Just thought it would be nice,” he shrugged, his tone happy and light.  Virgil turned to look at him, his eyes full of fondness.

“It’s more than nice, Roman.  Thank you,” he almost whispered and then he was leaning forward, pressing his lips gently to Roman’s in a smooth glide.  Warmth engulfed him as Virgil deepened the kiss, gently cupping his face with one hand and slowly swiping his tongue along the seam of Roman’s lips, asking for permission, which Roman granted as he eagerly opened his mouth, enjoying the hot exchange of breath as they moved together.  Roman felt Virgil’s breath hitch a little as he tangled his fingers in soft, silky hair, caressing and pulling him closer all at once, trying to convey everything he was feeling as he tenderly nipped Virgil’s lower lip.  Virgil gasped a little, pressing closer before pulling away to press gentle kisses along Roman’s jaw, fisting one hand in the material of his shirt as he went. 

“Virge,” Roman breathed, nuzzling into the gentle kisses.

“Mmmm?” he hummed, indicating he was listening.

“I want to tell you something,” he murmured, his breathing slightly laboured as Virgil pulled back to look at him.

“What is it?” the question was so soft, so full of tenderness, and Virgil was looking at him with nothing but care in his eyes and Roman knew it was the right time to say it. 

“Virgil,” he began, feeling all of his emotions swell in his chest as he looked into those wonderfully deep eyes, “I… I just want you to know, that over these last few months,” he paused, his heart hammering in his chest as Virgil looked at him with an open and hopeful expression, waiting patiently for Roman to find the right words, “I’ve completely and utterly fallen in love with you,” he almost whispered it, feeling breathless with nerves and jittery with excitement and Virgil was blinking rapidly up at him, his eyes shining as a huge smile spread over his face.

“Oh Roman, you idiot, I love you too,” for a moment it was silent while the words sank in.  And then Roman’s heart exploded with joy, it felt almost as if fireworks were going off inside him and then they were kissing again, neither one sure who had moved first but they were each giving as good as they got.  As Virgil ran his tongue along the top of his mouth, Roman suddenly decided they weren’t close enough, so he swung his leg over to sit in Virgil’s lap, straddling his hips and pulling him as close as possible.  Virgil moaned a little as Roman shifted his hips, still kissing him deeply and Roman realised a little too late that this was getting very heated for being out on a hilltop in the middle of nowhere.  Despite this he couldn’t help grinding down a little more, relishing the soft, sweet noise that Virgil made in response, and fuck, he was getting hard.  Virgil’s hands were on his ass now as they rolled their hips together and he could feel that Virgil was getting just as excited as he was.  Roman pulled back from their kiss, breathing heavily as Virgil moved to kiss down his neck.

“Shit, Virge, we can’t do this here, I don’t have any lube,” he mumbled, trying to still his hips as he spoke.  Virgil stopped kissing his neck to look up at him, a faint blush dusting his cheeks as he shifted a little sheepishly. “What?” Roman asked, confusion drawing his eyebrows together.

“Well… I know we’ve been taking things slower this time around but, eh, we used to fuck like all the time and I just wanted to be prepared, y’know, so I… eh, I kind of brought some lube with me,” he admitted, nodding to the rucksack lying at the edge of the carpet.  Roman felt himself grinning widely as he moved to pull the rucksack closer.

“You’re such a kinky little shit,” Roman teased, laughing at Virgil’s offended expression.

“Whatever, Princey, at least we can fuck now if we want to,” he growled, moving back to kissing Roman’s neck, nipping a little as he went.

“I don’t want to fuck,” Roman said softly.  Virgil immediately froze beneath him.  There was a beat of silence before he pulled away, looking stricken with guilt.

“Oh my god, Roman I’m so sorry, I totally misread the signals I should have asked, I…” Roman shook his head, shushing Virgil and cutting off his panicked rambling.

“Sorry, I didn’t phrase that well.  What I mean is I don’t just want to have sex like we used to, before.  I want… I want to make love to you, if you’ll let me,” Roman felt his cheeks flush at the cheesiness of his words, and Virgil was blushing too now and that was something new.  In all of their previous encounters Virgil hadn’t blushed at all, and Roman wondered if it was their new found feelings that had changed that.  He couldn’t deny that it was incredibly attractive on him. 

“Em, okay,” Virgil mumbled in response to his question, and Roman let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, relaxing a little and moving closer to kiss him again, tender and soft just like his feelings were.  They kissed for a few moments more, slowly and gently, breathing together and enjoying one another in a tender and delicate way that was still relatively new for them.  “How do you want to do this?” Virgil murmured when Roman had moved on to start kissing his neck, gently pushing his hoodie off his shoulders.

“Well, we’ve never actually done it face to face,” he replied, leaning back to look at Virgil as he spoke “And I think this time I’d really, really like to see your face,” and there was that lovely faint blush on Virgil’s cheeks again.

“I’d really like that too,” he whispered and then they were kissing again, their tongues slowly gliding together and Virgil tugged on Roman’s jacket until he was shrugging it off, and then immediately he was lifting his arms over his head so Virgil could discard his t-shirt.  Roman shivered a little at the cool air, but Virgil’s hands were warm as they traced over his torso, brushing gently against his abs, pecs and nipples, staring in awe as he did so.  “You’re so beautiful, Roman,” he murmured and Roman knew he was blushing now, but he smiled through it, leaning in to kiss Virgil again, seemingly unable to get enough of him.  It wasn’t long before he was tugging at Virgil’s shirt, throwing it to the ground once it was off.  He took one of Virgil’s hands in his and began pressing small kisses all the way up his arm as slowly as he could manage until he reached the smooth pale shoulder.  He then took Virgil’s other hand and did the same, enjoying the little shiver it caused in Virgil as he nipped at his wrist this time.  Soon enough they were kissing again, with Roman’s hands holding Virgil’s hips as he pushed them down so that Virgil was lying on his back with Roman hovering over him, pressing their bodies together lightly as they kissed. 

“Do you want to top?” he asked gently, brushing Virgil’s bangs aside to better see his face, so relaxed and happy and Roman felt his chest squeeze at the sight. 

“I want you to top this time,” Roman smiled and nodded, happy to do whatever Virgil wanted and to show him how much he meant to him.  He began trailing little kisses all down Virgil’s chest, shifting down his body as he went until he reached the waistband of his skinny jeans.  He glanced up to confirm that Virgil was still okay before he tugged at the offending garment, pulling and giggling when they got caught around Virgil’s ankles.  Virgil huffed indignantly, kicking his legs until finally they were free.  Roman was still laughing as he pulled Virgil’s socks off too, tickling his feet slightly as he did so and nearly getting kicked in the face for his trouble.  But Virgil was laughing too and Roman wasn’t sure he’d ever been this in love with someone before as he pulled off his own jeans and then leant down to kiss Virgil again, letting out a breathy moan as Virgil trailed his hands down Roman’s stomach and to his boxers, slipping a hand inside and teasing Roman’s length with one finger trailing up and down. 

“Mmm, Virge, can you get the lube?” he asked hastily as he sat up to pull off his boxers and then Virgil’s.  A moment later Virgil was handing him the little bottle, smiling as he lay bare beneath him looking so soft and beautiful in the moonlight and Roman couldn’t help it, he kissed him again as he lubed up his fingers, pressing one gently to Virgil’s entrance and massaging around it for a moment while still kissing him deeply.  Virgil moaned and shifted his hips, encouraging Roman to carry on so that’s just what he did, pressing in slowly and surely, giving Virgil time to adjust whenever he needed it.  Soon Virgil was moaning and whining so Roman added another finger, pumping them gently in and out, pressing against his walls to stretch him, watching in awe as Virgil keened and wriggled beneath him.  He was utterly captivating and Roman could hardly believe they had never done this before, it was addictive to be with him this way.  It felt so tender and intimate as he slowly and gently pushed in a third finger, stretching Virgil as much as he could now. 

“Roman, please, please I’m ready!” Virgil moaned, his eyes squeezed shut in pure bliss.  Roman removed his fingers and fumbled with the lube again, pouring a liberal amount onto his hand to begin slicking up his cock pumping it a couple of times as Virgil shifted underneath him, moving to wrap his legs around Roman’s waist.  Unable to hold out for much longer, Roman aligned their hips, pressing the tip of his cock to Virgil’s entrance.  Their eyes locked as he pushed just the tiniest bit, letting Virgil feel him there as they looked into one another’s faces.

“I love you,” Virgil breathed and Roman leant down to rest their foreheads together, his heart singing with joy.

“I love you too,” he murmured back and then he began pushing in, slowly but not stopping until he bottomed out.  They paused for a moment, both panting and still gazing at one another.

“Roman, please,” Virgil mumbled and how could he deny such a request?  He pulled out almost to the tip before pushing back in, groaning a little as he did so and watching as Virgil’s mouth fell open in pleasure, little moans escaping him each time Roman pressed back in, his pace slow and steady but building gently and soon Virgil was rolling his hips to meet his thrusts and they were moving together, staring into one another’s eyes and it felt so special to Roman, so beautiful and delicate and as he gazed into Virgil’s eyes he knew it was the same for him too. 

“Feels so good, Virge,” Roman panted, picking up his pace again and changing the angle slightly to try and hit Virgil’s prostate.  The high pitched moan that followed indicated he had done just that, so he concentrated on hitting that same spot over and over again.

“Oh my god, Roman, I’m gonna… I’m gonna,” Virgil moaned loudly as Roman wrapped a hand around his cock, attempting to time his strokes with his thrusts and Virgil was moaning even higher now, his eyelids fluttering as he fought to keep looking at Roman, and Roman could feel his own release building quickly now.

“Go on, cum with me, Virge,” Roman murmured and Virgil’s eyes finally shut as he did just that, spilling over Roman’s hand and onto his stomach and he looked so incredibly beautiful in the pale, soft light, so overcome with pleasure that moments later Roman’s hips were stuttering out of time as his own release crashed over him, rolling through his entire body in sheer bliss.  He stilled above Virgil, breathing heavily as he came back down from his high, sinking them into a kiss as he did so. 

“That was amazing,” Virgil breathed once Roman finally pulled away, rolling off of Virgil and digging in the rucksack, hoping to find a packet of tissues.

“It really was,” he agreed, finding what he was looking for and taking some from the packet to begin cleaning Virgil, giggling as he squirmed in over-sensitivity.  Once they had both been cleaned, Roman took his hand and squeezed gently as they lay on their backs, still completely naked and out in the open on a hilltop gazing up at a sky full of stars. 

“Holy shit, Princey, you really know how to do romance,” Virgil commented after a couple of minutes and Roman couldn’t help but laugh.

“I do try,” he quipped, squeezing Virgil’s hand again and that’s when he noticed that Virgil was starting to shiver and he remembered that they probably shouldn’t be lying outside naked in the middle of the night. “C’mon, Emo Nightmare, let’s go home and sleep in a bed like normal people,” he added, sitting up and gathering their clothes, passing Virgil’s to him as he did so.  Virgil groaned as he pushed himself up.

“Patton’s going to kill us if we catch a cold,” he muttered and Roman laughed again, knowing full well that it was true. 

Soon enough they were back in the car, driving towards the city that was their home, watching the darkened scenery roll by, illuminated only by headlights and streetlamps and the light of a thousand stars and the moon.  Roman glanced over now and then to watch as Virgil’s head began to droop and soon he was sleeping soundly against the window, the streetlamps casting long shadows over his face that moved and shifted as they drove. 

Roman couldn’t help but think back to that first night he had gone into the bar, when he’d seen an attractive and mysterious stranger sitting alone in a booth in a little gay bar somewhat off the beaten track and he had decided to hit on him just for the chance of a quick one night stand.  And now here they were, months later, completely in love and driving home together.  Now he had two more wonderful friends, an incredible boyfriend and his life ahead of him, the next adventure just waiting to begin.  He couldn’t wait to embark upon that adventure with Remy, Logan, Virgil and Patton, his new family.  He knew it wouldn’t always be easy, there would be difficult times ahead as there always were, but there would also be wonderful times too.  And he wouldn’t have to face them alone.  As he glanced over at a sleeping Virgil once more he couldn’t help but feel that he would never have to face anything alone again.  He was happy and in love and more full of hope than he could ever remember being.  He smiled as he thought to himself that if this were a movie this would probably be his happy ending.  But it wasn’t an ending at all.

It was only the beginning.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Tears up* I can't believe there's only the epilogue left!! 
> 
> Serious talk for a second: this was my first ever multi-chaptered fic and the response has been unbelievable. I feel so incredibly grateful that this story has resonated with so many people as huge amounts of this story have been based on my own life. I cannot even begin to thank you (yes YOU I'm talking to YOU) enough for taking the time to read this fic. It is truly my baby and I have loved writing it and exploring parts of myself through this writing.   
> I saw that a lot of people said they came for the smut and stayed for the plot and honestly, to me that is the highest praise I can receive honestly I am just so so glad that there are people enjoying this story, and I hope that will continue even after the epilogue has been posted. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much fam(ILY) I really do love you all, Fanders, you guys are incredible. 
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on tumblr any time @iampureprincxietytrash!
> 
> As always, please roast me if you see a typo.


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is still a salty bitch but he's actually a really happy salty bitch now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. 
> 
> We're at the end of this tale. I have to say it has been an absolutely joy to write this story and share it with you all, thank you so so much for taking the time to read it, especially if you have left a comment you make my heart soar. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all your support, please enjoy these 3000 words of pure, unadulterated fluff to end this story.

Virgil was frowning into his whiskey, sitting alone at a quiet table in this smallish but reasonably classy bar that he was oh so familiar with.  It had been a long week and Patton, Logan and Roman were _all_ running late for their night out.  He knew it wasn’t their fault but he reserved the right to feel bitter about it anyway.  At least spring was round the corner which usually meant a quieter couple of months at the bar so he had that to look forward to.  He went to take another sip of his whiskey to find it empty.  He frowned again before glancing up to the bar and catching Gina’s eye, waving the empty glass at her.  She smiled and winked before making her way over to him and pouring him another.

“How’s your first shift as Assistant Manager going?” Virgil asked her in a low voice, winking at her as she scoffed.

“Doesn’t feel any different, to be honest, ‘cause for some reason my boss is still here drinking alone in his own bar,” she drawled.  Virgil laughed at that and they chatted for a bit before she returned to the bar.  She had now been working for him for just over a year and a half, and at her insistence that she wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, Virgil had decided to promote her to Assistant Manager, partly so he could pay her more for the work she did, and partly so he could do less work and take more days off per week.  His anxiety, however, had not quite been kind enough to let him leave her entirely alone on her first shift in this new position, even though he knew she was more than capable, he still wanted to be around to help if necessary.  Which was why he had insisted they have their night out here and the others had all been more than happy to comply so really it was a win-win scenario. 

Only five minutes later he felt a slight breeze as the glass door was pushed open.  He looked up to see his two best friends and his boyfriend of a year and a half piling into the bar and looking around until they spotted him.  He couldn’t, nor did he want to, resist the huge smile that spread across his lips when he saw them while his chest simultaneously filled with warmth and comfort.  Patton spotted him first, waving enthusiastically and pulling the others over to join him in the small booth.  Virgil stood briefly to accept a hug from Patton and a kiss from Roman before he went to collect drinks from the bar, leaving Virgil sitting opposite Patton and Logan.  They exchanged greetings and caught up on one another’s days, chatting until Roman re-joined them with beers for him and Logan, a cocktail for Patton and another whiskey for Virgil, despite the fact he was yet to finish the glass he currently had.

“Guys, I have a really great idea,” Patton announced after taking a sip from his cocktail.  Everyone immediately looked concerned and apprehensive as three faces turned to Patton to see what he had come up with this time.

“Okaaaay, feel like sharing it with us, Padre?” Roman asked somewhat tentatively.  Patton positively beamed at them.

“Now I know what you’re going to say BUT, just hear me out! What if we played…charades?” Virgil was pleased to note that both Roman and Logan groaned with him at the revelation.  Patton’s grin only widened at the response.

“My dearest, we have been over this, it’s not practical to play charades in a booth,” Logan told him a little sternly.  Patton merely smiled sweetly.

“Okay then,” he conceded.  Virgil blinked twice.

“What, that’s it?” he asked, feeling his eyebrows draw together in confusion.

“Yep!” Patton’s voice was cheery and entirely too innocent for Virgil’s liking.

“You’re not going to try and convince us to play?” Roman asked suspiciously, eyeing Patton as he took a sip of his beer.

“Now what would be the point of that?” Patton replied condescendingly.  A slightly uneasy silence settled over them as the other three tried desperately to figure out Patton’s plan.  “Anyway, next round is on me and we’re doing shots!” he added brightly.

Ah. Of course.

“Pfft, if you think getting us all drunk will work you’ll be sorely disappointed,” Logan grumbled, drinking from his own bottle now.  Patton’s grin turned slightly wicked.

“We’ll see,”

 

 

“Okay, okay, four words!” Virgil was vaguely aware somewhere in his slightly hazy mind that he was shouting but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  He needed Patton to know that he understood that it was four words they were looking for.  Four words.

“A song!” Roman bellowed as Patton made an exaggerated gesture of singing.  Virgil grinned.  His boyfriend was so smart.  He was absolutely right, it _was_ a song; Patton was miming singing!  But wait, he was shaking his head now.  Not a song?  How could Roman have been so utterly wrong!  He wracked his brain, trying desperately to figure out why Patton would mime singing if it wasn’t a song when he heard Logan speak up.

“It’s a piece of music,” he offered calmly, the red tint to his cheeks the only indication of his current intoxication.  A piece of music.  My god, he was a _genius_.  Patton was nodding this time and giving them the thumbs up.  Excellent.  They were making good progress now.  Four words and a piece of music.  This was _easy_ and Patton had been right all along, playing charades in his bar was an excellent idea.  Oh but Patton was miming again now and he was missing it!  Which word were they on?  Had they guessed any right yet?  He made an effort to concentrate as he watched Patton spread his arms and sway slightly, scrunching up his nose as he concentrated and, wow, that was really adorable to watch. 

“Airplane!” Virgil shouted suddenly, causing Roman to jump in surprise at his outburst.  Patton gave him an encouraging look to show that he was indeed close, but not exactly right. 

“Flying?” Roman asked, enthusiastically smacking his hand on the table as the idea hit him.  Again Patton looked pleased but indicated it was still not right.

“Fly?” Virgil asked, furrowing his brow as he tried desperately to focus.  Patton shook his head once more. 

“Flight!” Logan shouted and Patton _beamed_ as him as he nodded excitedly.  Virgil nodded his head sagely without speaking.  Four words, music, flight.  He could _do_ this, he could figure it out!  Patton was now doing some very elaborate miming, flapping his arms very quickly and wobbling an awful lot for someone who was sitting down.  Virgil watched as his flailing hand nearly smacked into the table and he felt a spike of anxiety for his friend’s safety.  The stakes were even higher now!  He had to figure it out before Patton inadvertently hurt himself!  He was thinking so hard that he wasn’t really listening to all of the things his friends were guessing while Patton continued to mime furiously waving his hands around, his cheeks turning red from the effort. 

“OH I’VE GOT IT!” Roman suddenly yelled, particularly loudly.  Virgil turned to him with wide eyes, excited to hear what his dear partner had to say.  “Flight of the Bumblebee!” Roman exclaimed, staring at Patton intently who grinned widely.

“Spot on, kiddo!” he replied, grinning brightly.  Roman whooped with joy and Virgil felt himself smiling happily.  He glanced over to see Logan gazing at Patton with so much love in his eyes and he felt something warm spread in his chest at the sight.  The sudden appearance of a woman at their table drew their collective attention as Gina stood over them, her expression firm but her eyes soft was fondness.

“Guys, I think it’s high time you all went home,” she said shortly, her tone clipped.

“Awwww!” Patton and Roman whined in unison, causing Virgil to chuckle a little.  Logan was nodding in that wise and all-knowing way of his.

“Indeed, it is late and we are all highly intoxicated.  We would all benefit from drinking large amounts of water and going to bed,” he instructed.  Gina made a low noise of agreement.

“Ugh, spoil sport,” Roman muttered under his breath.

“What was that?” Logan asked sharply.

“Nothing!” Roman yelled at once.  Virgil huffed a laugh while Patton giggled. 

Eventually they managed to drag themselves out of the bar, Patton and Logan to return to their apartment and Roman and Virgil to return to his.  They walked hand in hand through the chilly early-spring air in companionable silence all the way back to Virgil’s apartment.  After returning and going through the familiar motions of getting ready for sleep they fell into bed together, laughing and kissing as they went.  Virgil glanced around the room at the piles of boxes and felt a pang of excitement.

“Can you believe it’s only two days to go?” he whispered excitedly.  He felt more than heard Roman’s response rumble through his chest as Virgil lay his head there, idly tracing one finger over soft, tan skin. “You got the day off work, right?” he asked, just to be sure.

“Yeah, so did Remy and Patton told me he did too, so we should be fine,” Roman replied, his voice soft and low with approaching unconsciousness.

“I can’t wait,” Virgil confessed quietly.

“Me neither,” came Roman’s gentle voice, his arms squeezing Virgil and pulling him closer.  Virgil felt him press a soft kiss to his hair and that was the last thing he was conscious of before he felt sleep overcome him completely.

 

 

 

 

“Goodness gracious Patton that box is far too heavy!” Virgil glanced up from the box he was currently wrestling with to watch Roman take a huge box of books from Patton’s tiny arms.  Patton made a whiney sort of sound and bounced in place.

“Noooo, I want to help!” he complained in that adorable, child-like way of his. 

“Why don’t you grab one of the other boxes, Pat?” Virgil called, pointing to a huge box in the corner he knew to contain a bunch of pillows.  Patton grinned and practically bounced over to the box in question.  Virgil caught Roman’s eye in time to see him mouth a _thank you_.  He winked in response and turned back to his own box, trying to figure out the best way to lift it without destroying his spine.  He had just managed to wrestle it into his arms when Logan appeared in the doorway.

“That’s the last of them from the living room, Virge,” he reported.  Virgil nodded as he stumbled out of his old bedroom, carrying the box to add to the collection waiting by the elevator.  At that precise moment there was a soft ding and the doors opened to reveal Gina in the lift, long curly hair tied back in a huge bun and face red with exertion.  She scowled at Virgil as she stepped out of the lift taking in the remaining boxes.

“Why did I agree to this?” she huffed.

“Beats me,” Virgil quipped, nudging her playfully as she glowered relentlessly. 

“You owe me big time,” she muttered, but he could see the glint of mirth in her eye and he knew she was only teasing him.  Together they worked to move the boxes into the elevator, soon joined by Roman and Logan until finally everything had been piled into the van Logan had rented, leaving Virgil and Patton to go back upstairs and do one final sweep of the apartment while Logan, Roman and Gina drove ahead to the new place and Patton and Virgil would follow in a cab.  As he stepped into his old apartment for what would be the final time he took in the familiar surroundings of the place that had been his home for over five years now.

“Feels weird, doesn’t it?” Patton offered quietly, looking around at the now bare walls, several large pieces of furniture missing and all the personal knick-knacks that were gone.

“Very symbolic and shit,” Virgil agreed looking around at the skeleton of his old life. 

“It’s going to be a great adventure,” Patton almost whispered, his voice reminiscent of that excited feeling of being up past midnight with a friend when you’re a child, speaking only in hushed tones so as not to let the world know what you’ve been up to.  He smiled as he pulled his friend into a one-armed hug.

“I know,” he murmured. 

Once they had finished sweeping the entire place for anything that could possibly have been left behind and were sure that they had everything (Virgil insisted on checking at least three times) he fished the keys out of his pocket and left them on the kitchen counter as instructed.  As he closed the door the click of the lock seemed to echo through the corridor much louder than usual and with an air of finality as he left the apartment behind for good. 

 

 

By the time Virgil and Patton made it to the new apartment everyone else had already arrived and was working hard to unload as many boxes as possible.

“Oh look who finally decided to show up!” Remy teased as he carried a lamp in one hand and a plastic Starbucks cup in the other. 

“You gonna actually carry anything bigger than your own ego at some point today?” Virgil fired back at him, nodding to the lamp as everyone else struggled with heavy boxes or large furniture.  Remy’s jaw dropped and Virgil almost cackled at the expression, a smug smile pulling at his lips as he moved to join the others in the moving process.

“I’m going to let that slide because it’s your moving day, but you’re on thin fucking ice babe,” Remy finally retorted, sauntering into the building still only carrying the lamp and his drink.  Virgil shook his head fondly. 

The rest of the afternoon passed in a whirlwind of moving boxes from room to room, shifting furniture and trying to decide what should go where, small arguments and tiffs breaking out every so often until at last, long after the sun had set Roman walked into the apartment and placed the final box on the floor turning to close the door resolutely behind him and turning to grin at everyone.  Virgil looked round his new living room, packed at the moment with boxes and whatnot, but also full of his dearest friends, Patton, Logan, Remy, Gina and Max, all of whom had set aside this day to help him and Roman move into this new place together.  He felt his heart swell with emotion. 

“I’m soooooo hungry!” Gina complained loudly from where she was lying flat on the floor staring up at the ceiling.

“Hey, kiddos! We should order pizza!” Patton exclaimed, jostling Logan as he did so, whose lap he was currently sitting atop. 

“Ooooh, good call, doll.  I’ll have a ham and pineapple,” Remy piped up from the armchair he was draped over, tapping on his phone as usual.

“Ugh, you heathen.  That is a disgrace to the name of pizza,” Logan levelled Remy with a contemptible stare.  This started a heated debate amongst the group on the pros and cons of various pizza toppings.  Feeling tired and drained but overwhelmingly happy Virgil slunk quietly over to Roman, wrapping his arms round his waist and fitting his chin nicely onto his shoulder.

“Hey Storm Cloud,” Roman murmured, pressing a soft kiss to Virgil’s hair.

“This is our place,” Virgil almost whispered in response, smiling happily as Remy actually grabbed a cushion and threw it at Logan. 

“I know,” Roman’s reply was quiet but so full of joy, and Virgil felt something lovely and bright squeeze in his chest at the sound.

 

Later that night, once the pizza had arrived and been eaten, stories shared and memories made finally all of their friends piled out of their new home, all with promises of returning soon, leaving Roman and Virgil to collapse on the mattress on the floor in their bedroom where their new bed would soon be.  Virgil was exhausted, the kind of tired that was so completely deep set that it burrowed into your bones.  He could feel sleep tugging at his brain as he lay down in the soft sheets.  He felt strong arms wrap around him and draw him close and he hummed contentedly surrounded by the warmth and smell and comfort of Roman. 

“I’m thinking lots of sappy things,” Roman mumbled into Virgil’s hair, pressing a soft kiss there as he did so.  Virgil snorted.

“You’re always thinking sappy things,” he commented vaguely. 

“More sappy than usual,” Roman clarified, squeezing Virgil a little tighter for a moment.  He lifted his head and pressed a sweet, chaste kiss to those incredibly soft and familiar lips.

“You could just say that you love me, dork,” Virgil teased.  Roman huffed indignantly before pressing their lips together once more, a longer, gentle glide this time.

“I love you, Virge,” he murmured it against his lips, like it was the most tender and precious thing, a gift only for Virgil.  And in a way it was.  He felt himself smile as his cheeks warmed even in the dark of their new room.

“I love you too, Ro,” he whispered back, feeling the depth of it fill him with a gentle happiness that he had been missing for a long time.  He fell asleep happy and safe in Roman’s arms, the first night of the rest of their nights to be spent together, and that thought alone was enough to bring him so much joy he could hardly contain it.  And for the first time in his life, he didn’t feel like he had to.  His future was bright and his present was happy and he was ready to face it all with Roman by his side. 

And in the end that was all that really mattered.

 

 

 

_Fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Earlier this year I had my heart broken when I had to leave someone I love. It has been a difficult time and writing this fic has given me a way to explore a lot of those feelings and also to write something hopeful, something that I wish could one day be my story or at least something similar. I have poured my heart and soul into these words and I can do nothing more than thank you once again for reading it. 
> 
> I may have written this story for me, but I also wrote it for you. 
> 
> So really, truly, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.
> 
>  
> 
> (Shameless self-promo, there's going to be a Logicality Prequel to this story to keep your eyes peeled for that if you're interested)
> 
> And, as always, roast me if you see a typo. 
> 
> Take it easy guys, gals and non-binary pals! Peace out.

**Author's Note:**

> Please roast me if you find a typo anywhere! And let me know if there's anything that needs to be tagged as a warning!!


End file.
